Granted, but you'll only have the position for three weeks before they "reassign to you Phil's team" because they will tell you, "they need a young mover and shaker to revive an underperforming work group" but what they won't tell you is that they are underperforming because everyone hates phil and quit when he got promoted.

I wish there were 48 hours in a day.

Granted but then your employer makes you work an extra 20.

I wish I had a maid named Fifi who cleaned the house and made fresh croissants every morning.

granted but secretly your maid is a transsexual male.

I wish I could get the new ipod

granted but then they make another new two weeks from now


i wish i could go take a nap

granted, but you drank so much coffee this morning that you can't actually fall asleep

i wish i had packed a lunch today for work

granted but you leave it out by accident and one of your co workers eats it and wont fess up

I wsh that the next wish will come true

granted but then a mod closed the thread

I wish LSU would lose their next football game

Granted, but then your team loses every other game this season.

I wish the KD forum had a mod.

granted, but the mod is jessiwannabe.

i wish the workday was over by now...

Granted. It is now time to start work tomorrow.

I wish was going to be able to relax when I get home instead of dealing with homework, bedtimes . . . .

granted but then the power goes out....


I wish I had money to get the itouch

granted, but it will break the moment you get home and Apple and the store are closed.

I wish my headache would go away.

granted, but now you have an itch that just won't stop!

I wish all my work was done for the week.

granted, but then you spend the next week in meetings defending yourself for not working that hard all the time, and they pile even more on you

i wish that the birds would stop flying into my window

granted, but they start flying inot your face.

i wish i could catch up on my sleep

granted, but you sleep through two meetings and an important appointment.



I wish I had black or brown eyelashes.

granted but then your eyebrows turn platinum blonde

i wish i could find that spandau ballet LP

Granted, but your record player is broken.

I wish I could snap my fingers and travel anywhere in the world.

Granted, but you forget how to snap your fingers!


I wish Scotch Guard didn't smell so much!

Granted, but you always have stains now because it is the smell that gets rid of them.


I wish my car was always perfectly clean.

granted, but then some one totals it, and you drive a shiny wrecked car

i wish my lease was ready

granted, but it will be a three year lease that you can't break, even in death.


I wish that it was October break already!

granted, but your house will flood during you break and you'll have to cancel your plans.

i wish the boy would tell me how he feels already.

Granted...but he tells you that even though he loves you, he has decided to enter a monastery in Italy...


I wish we could find a house that we both agree on...

Granted, but you now have a $10,000/month mortgage.



I wish there was World Peace.

Granted but it's only because the world is destroyed and there is only an island filled with greek chatters left!

I wish we would hear if they have accepted our offer on the house already....:D

Granted but then it turns into the money pit

I wish that I had a personal massage therapist

granted but you find that you can't stand them as they have a severe case of smoker's breath.

I wish I could take all day off tomorrow and play halo 3.

Granted, but your controller misfires and you never get past the first level.

I wish I could eat all the dessert in the world and never gain weight.

Granted but its the Atari version so its sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.....

I wish a fine as he!! 6'2,single, working, disease free, straight, honest, funny, with fresh breath and well endowed dude would fall in love with me tomorrow..:D

Two at one time!

Granted..you never gain any weight, but your cholesterol levels shoot high enough through the roof that your doctor condemns you to eating oatmeal for the rest of your life.



Granted, but it turns out that he is a polygamist!


I wish that my internet wireless connection was faster.

Granted, but you have to change your email address every week.




I wish I had a laundress, who did my laundry & ironing perfectly!

Granted, but then she steals your laundry and you have no clothes but a very well-dressed laundress.

I wish I could listen to my ipod at work.

ta da! listen away! but you can only listen to one song on repeat.

i wish i had onion rings, right now.

Granted, but your onion breath will offend everyone you meet today, including the person who was about to give you a million dollars!



I wish pizza had no calories.

granted but it gives you the runs.

I wish I had more work to do.

Granted, but you get so much you can't meet your deadline and are dangerously close to getting fired.

I wish that I was not getting a sinus infection.

Granted...it's not a sinus infection, it's a cold.
I wish I could travel the world...free.

(I miss this thread..this was one of my faves...)


AHEM......granted.....but you have to get shots at each port you stop in....


I wish one of you ladies would buy me a drink right now.

granted... but your drink is laced with atropine

I wish i could go to the beach