Granted but now she listens to heavy metal music at loud decibels all the time.

Granted but all the dirt & junk from inside your house now resides in your front yard where you're constantly getting cited by the city.



I wish I had a piece of chocolate cake.

edited because Dang, BetteDavisEyes beat me


ok, wish granted but your chocolate cake is 3259386503 calories a slice


I wish it was the end of the workweek already.

Only a few....whoo hooo....it works!


(who at one time had 8 broken windows in her 32 window house because of baseballs, football, one thrown shoe and a slammed door.)

your wish is granted...but you'll regret having lost all that time. and something awesome probably happened on thursday.


i wish i had a real-life get outta jail free card.

Granted, you have a real life "get out of jail" free card, but that's because you are now the little shoe character that comes with the Monopoly board. So, while you spend some of your free time using that oh-so-precious card, you spend more of it sitting on a game board.



I wish my hair didn't require so much maintenance.

granted. you are now bald.

i wish my phone would stop ringing.

Granted, but you are now on a desert island with no human contact forever...

I wish I had a fish that wouldn't die...

granted and you will never be able to get the smell out of your brand new home not to mention he stops up the toilet that you flushed him down.

I wish I was at the movies right now.

Granted...except the movie is a documentary about nose hairs.

I wish Congress would do something productive.

granted...but now they are set up like parliament and spend all day screaming at each other and wearing wigs.

i wish it was Friday!

granted but you dont get paid and when you next wake up it's already monday...and it's raining


I wish I met the perfect woman right now

Ok, but making today Friday has caused a shift in the space/time continuum, and now tomorrow's Monday... and everyone hates you for it.

I wish my dog could babysit my kids!

I am offended by this, the Hoff's latest single rocks hardcore and I own it!

He lets one of your kids fall down the stairs and when all he can do is bark down the phone at the emergency dispatcher, DSS takes your kids away from you.

I wish I had boneless buffalo wings.

Granted, but you lost your arms, and the boneless wings are attached in their place. No offense, but you look kinda silly with some drippy boneless wings sticking out of your torso.

I wish that, when people get banned from GC, their IP addy would be banned, and not simply the user name.

Granted, but they are from real buffalo and you can't lift them by yourself.

I wish I could pay off my daughter's mortgage so she won't lose her house ;(.