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-   -   Getting a Bid from Someone You Didn't Pref (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=80298)

UGAalum94 11-20-2006 04:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drolefille (Post 1360386)

Ideally, it might make a PNM reconsider the smaller houses, but if they still have their top three, they're probably not looking at their bottom two as viable options.
This is true no matter the size of the system, I'm afraid, and it's why it's so hard to have everyone make quota. I think that the release figures, quota additions, and everything else that NPC is doing are wonderful tools to improve the system and are helping a lot. At a few places, results are looking as close to perfect as possible. (I'm thinking Auburn and Alabama, who release data to the public.)

At my school there were 18 groups and the number of parties dropped gradually over four rounds. Girls who were invited back to more than the number of parties could drop groups. I think that the maximum number for second round was 10 or 12. I can imagine that, as far as the PNM was concerned after first round, there might not have been a bid difference between her 12th and 13th house, but the 13th one got dropped.

Drolefille 11-20-2006 04:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1360390)
On one hand, maybe someone will show up who hadn't considered your sorority and be won over. But on the other hand, maybe the majority of the people at the party will be people who'd just as soon be there as have root canal, and aren't shy about showing it. You as a member of that sorority who's already stressed about being smaller, have to keep talking OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN to someone you know doesn't want to be there and doesn't like you. It's very draining for the sorority members. Think about in everyday life how annoying it is to put up w/ someone at your job who you know doesn't like you. Now transfer that to rush which is about 10,000 times more stressful.

And while I think do think it's good to "keep trying," I wouldn't want someone who feels so negatively about my sorority at pref. That's supposed to be a special evening and I'd hate to have a bunch of girls with bad vibes ruining things for the rushees who DO want to be there.
I just like pref can be the night that seals the deal, it can also break it. So those PNMs that loved you and have a crappy pref end up looking elsewhere.

UGAalum94 11-20-2006 04:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1360390)
On one hand, maybe someone will show up who hadn't considered your sorority and be won over. But on the other hand, maybe the majority of the people at the party will be people who'd just as soon be there as have root canal, and aren't shy about showing it. You as a member of that sorority who's already stressed about being smaller, have to keep talking OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN to someone you know doesn't want to be there and doesn't like you. It's very draining for the sorority members. Think about in everyday life how annoying it is to put up w/ someone at your job who you know doesn't like you. Now transfer that to rush which is about 10,000 times more stressful.

And while I think do think it's good to "keep trying," I wouldn't want someone who feels so negatively about my sorority at pref. That's supposed to be a special evening and I'd hate to have a bunch of girls with bad vibes ruining things for the rushees who DO want to be there.

OH NO, you don't invite jerks to prefs. (I don't think that qualifies as secret membership selection.) Root canal girl would be long gone. I agree that PNMs who project bad attitude are not helpful to anyone during rush.

Maybe it's a southern thing, but that's not how it goes down for most PNMs in the rushes I've heard about. This may be hard to believe, but almost all PNMs behave beautifully at all the parties. That's why it stands out so much when someone doesn't.

Almost every one of the 1200 PNMS has been raised to always be polite. The idea that one would openly seem disinterested in a conversation or openly show that you didn't like someone to her face would be unthinkable. (which is not to say that everyone acts the same way waiting to go into parties or that people aren't catty behind people's backs.) But at parties themselves, everything is super nice.

aggieAXO 11-22-2006 07:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drolefille (Post 1360357)
Regretting with interest means that you want to go there, but can't fit them in. If you can't actually cut and can only RWI then when you get cut by the larger houses, you'll keep getting invited back to the smaller ones, and then keep RWI-ing them. So annoying on the PNM's side because she keeps going to houses that she isn't so interested in and RWI's them each time. Annoying for the small houses that have full parties but may not take quota because those women all want to go somewhere else.
The first 2 days I did not have full parties and could not cut the houses but the rest of week I had full parties and even though I would cut these houses they still showed up on the list the next day (for me again to RWI). I did cut one of the larger houses on campus mid week as well and they did not show up on my list the next day. It made the smaller houses look desperate and did not help with their image.

aggieAXO 11-22-2006 07:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphagamuga (Post 1360381)
Well, it seems to me that the small houses are probably better off having full houses for the parties than having empty ones. In my mind, they aren't more likely to make quota with fewer girls at each party; they'd be even less likely to make it. So, it may not be a big hardship for them to have girls who aren't crazy about being there at a few parties.

From the PNM's perspective, you might have to go to a few houses you aren't interested in, but how big a deal is that really? You meet some girls; you dazzle them with your charm; they know your future chapter got a great girl on bid day. At least, that's how it goes at UGA, in my opinion.

Yes, occasionally smaller chapters do believe that some girls who aren't really interested want to join them because the PNMs are such awesome guests and treat each rusher like she is the most interesting and charming person on the planet. But it's usually pretty clear by prefs who you will really see on bid day.

If a PNM's only option in declining is to regret with interest, I can see that you couldn't use it to determine if people were interested. If I'm remembering this correctly, back when I was in school and we were huddled around checking our party lists by firelight in the cave, you could straight up decline/regret, decline with interest, or accept.

When I asked about re-invites, I had in mind a system that allowed a PNM to make a distinction between a group she liked okay but wasn't in her top group for second round and a group she never wanted to see again.

With groups making their big releases maybe between different rounds, I can see that a girl who got invited back almost every place after first, but cut hard after second, might not mind having a full party schedule for third. But I can see from the very detailed answer why that doesn't work out in the long term. (Thanks again, TXgirl!)

Again, I did not go to these houses after the second day because I had full parties but it did not matter-their name showed up every morning on the list regardless.

ETA: I was NEVER rude to the girls in these chapters. One of my best friends was in one of the smaller chapters and I had been over to house many times the previous year (I rushed as a junior.) I knew all the struggles her chapter had been through and I knew that it was not for me. She was a rho chi the year I rushed and every morning she would greet me at the MSC where we got our lists and every morning she watched as I cut her chapter which I know had to make her sad-that is why it was annoying.

UGAalum94 11-22-2006 07:43 PM
That makes sense. I was thinking of campuses that gave PNMs the choice between regret and regret with interest.

You obviously weren't interested. I guess at your campus there's no way for the groups to really tell.

carnation 06-25-2008 11:48 PM
-wondering if anybody else had heard of this happening over the last 2 years-

AlwaysSAI 06-26-2008 04:42 PM
So, this hasn't happened in my chapter because obviously, I'm not NPC, but it kind of happened to my sister. She attended Philanthropy day at AXO and AGD. She shows up at Pref to find that she has been invited to AGD and DZ (who had dropped her the day before). I asked her if she knew if DZ gave her a bid--of course she doesn't know, but she said she didn't even list them on her bid card.

And, I don't know if this all happened in the same year, but there were three girls in her chapter who were not bidded by the chapter, but showed up at bid day. They found out later that their LC bidded them because she wanted them to have the numbers (they were below quota at the time). One of them was a bump on a log for six years (yes, it took her that long to graduate). One went on to hold an EC position and the other has had her badge yanked by their IHQ.

33girl 06-26-2008 04:50 PM
Honestly, who the eff are the consultants who think that does anyone a favor - the sorority or the PNM??

I want to say "if you think she's such a prize, take her back to YOUR chapter."

carnation 08-10-2010 01:48 PM
bumping for 2010, wondering if this is still happening--

Alumiyum 08-10-2010 02:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aggieAXO (Post 1361578)
Again, I did not go to these houses after the second day because I had full parties but it did not matter-their name showed up every morning on the list regardless.

ETA: I was NEVER rude to the girls in these chapters. One of my best friends was in one of the smaller chapters and I had been over to house many times the previous year (I rushed as a junior.) I knew all the struggles her chapter had been through and I knew that it was not for me. She was a rho chi the year I rushed and every morning she would greet me at the MSC where we got our lists and every morning she watched as I cut her chapter which I know had to make her sad-that is why it was annoying.

This happened to me as a PNM as well. Exact same situation except that I wasn't friends with the RC whose chapter I was cutting, though I did know it was her chapter. It was uncomfortable every time.

CougarGrad 08-10-2010 05:41 PM
It's been a year since I've heard this story, so I'll try to get it right.

I know of a young lady who went through recruitment in fall of 2007. Pref was on the 4th day. She only preffed ABC because all week, she felt like the ladies of ABC were telling her that she was an ABC and was going to get into ABC. She was absolutely certain that she was becoming an ABC.

Morning of Bid Day, she hadn't been called and told that she didn't have a bid, so she joyfully went to get her bid card. The embarrassed Rho Chi took her aside and told her that there had been a snafu and she should have gotten a phone call because ABC did not give her a bid. She cried and cried until the Rho Chi told her that there was another group who had liked her very much and she hadn't disliked- would she accept a bid from them? She wiped her eyes and accepted the bid- which was from XYZ, who she hadn't visited since day 3. She'd liked them well enough but they just hadn't been in her top 2.

This young lady went on to enjoy her experience, living in the house and holding offices for two years. In fall of 2008, her younger (bio) sister joined her as a sister of XYZ.

AOII Angel 08-10-2010 08:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CougarGrad (Post 1966227)
It's been a year since I've heard this story, so I'll try to get it right.

I know of a young lady who went through recruitment in fall of 2007. Pref was on the 4th day. She only preffed ABC because all week, she felt like the ladies of ABC were telling her that she was an ABC and was going to get into ABC. She was absolutely certain that she was becoming an ABC.

Morning of Bid Day, she hadn't been called and told that she didn't have a bid, so she joyfully went to get her bid card. The embarrassed Rho Chi took her aside and told her that there had been a snafu and she should have gotten a phone call because ABC did not give her a bid. She cried and cried until the Rho Chi told her that there was another group who had liked her very much and she hadn't disliked- would she accept a bid from them? She wiped her eyes and accepted the bid- which was from XYZ, who she hadn't visited since day 3. She'd liked them well enough but they just hadn't been in her top 2.

This young lady went on to enjoy her experience, living in the house and holding offices for two years. In fall of 2008, her younger (bio) sister joined her as a sister of XYZ.
It's not exactly the same thing, but my third little sis had a similar experience. She went to pref at AOII and YZ. She was close friends with lots of YZs and really thought she would get a bid to YZ so she SIP'd YZ. I was her Rho Chi and had to knock on her door to give her the bad news. She was honestly less upset than I was. She'd just made a bad decision to think that she had a guaranteed in into YZ.
Jump to two days later, one of our NMs decided to drop out. She decided that sorority life was "evil" because she was very religious and didn't know that we had parties. :rolleyes: I don't know if she wasn't paying attention during recruitment or what. Anyway, the first person I suggested was this girl. The chapter questioned me, but I assured them she liked us but thought that all her friends were going to get her into the other chapter. They let me offer her a bid, and she accepted it and went on to be a great member.

IrishLake 08-10-2010 08:58 PM
A personal experience... my junior year, we extended a bid to a girl who dropped us after open house and first round. A lot of people loved her (I didn't) because she was an RA in an upperclass dorm (she was a sophomore). She bad mouthed other specific Theta's and I know for a fact she didn't think we were good enough for her (we both had a mutual friend who would not have lied to me). She preffed 2 different groups, and didn't get a bid from either. Sigh... so we gave her a bid. I was shocked that she accepted. She was assigned the alumni relations officer position later on. My senior year, she put together a slideshow for us graduating seniors to be played during our "Senior night." She contacted all of the parents and asked them to write letters to their soon-to-be-alum daughters (to be read out loud) and send in any pictures (childhood, college, etc). Oh, except she forgot to contact my parents. The night of senior night, I sat in my chair and cried my damn eyes out, because there was no letter for me, no pictures of me from my parents in the slideshow (Thankfully I was surrounded by my pledge class sisters, one whom penned a letter to me to be read aloud once she realized what was going on). I'm still a little bitter. That's my only experience with this kind of thing.

AOpilicious 08-24-2010 05:41 PM
Where I was a collegian, "snap" bids were offered to women who had accepted at least one prior invitation and went unmatched during bid matching. But it was done either in person or by phone before bids were distributed.

We had a situation where a PNM released us because her best friend wanted to go XYZ, but then regretted her decision. So she dropped herself out of rush entirely so that she wouldn't be bound by the preference/bid rules.

Just one of those crazy years where our chapter - that never misses quota - missed by one. and freak of nature situation, there were no more girls left on lists to place, so no snap bids available.

So we COB'd her to make quota. It was the craziest thing and at the time totally checked out according to the area NPC adviser, etc. When we called her to offer her the bid - she was crying and we were crying.

She made it back to campus just in time to "run" to the house with all of her pledge class sisters.

Now - another situation entirely - I was sent off to help monitor/manage an alum-less collegiate chapter in another part of the country. The panhellenic office kept deciding who would be on our invitation lists. Right up to preference and our bid lists.

It was so infuriating. We kept releasing certain women, and they kept showing back up on our lists. It didn't matter how angry I got, or who I called, this girl ended up at our house on bid day.

I know it's impossible to do bid matching and invitations by hand at big schools, but it is really the only way to make sure that random invitation screw ups don't happen.


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