Granted, but a gopher repeatedly steals your golf balls...

I wish I had tomorrow off...

Granted, but you'll be sick all day.

I wish I had a shorter drive to work.

granted but you now have a Flintstone car where you have to use your feet...and that HURTS!!!!


I wish I had unlimited access to the mall to shop for free.....

Granted, but all good stores have closed...

I wish the crickets outside my window would shut up...

Granted but all they do now is emit odors equivalent to a dozen of rotten eggs and you are forced to move.


I wish the NFL Season was longer

granted, but your team's qb will break his ankle in the third week and then be replaced by some one who no one thinks can replace him, but actually has a better season than the first stringer who got hurt's last season, but then the next year, they put the regular guy back up first in the depth chart, and there is all kinds of locker room drama, and no one blocks for him, so he refuses to dress out, etc. and all the fines everything take three months of mediation to resolve, and then both sides protest/object to the ruling.

I wish I could find a better internet message board.

dang what a way to crush a guys wish.....


Granted, but then you find out 2 hrs later your pc is behind a firewall.


I wish I had a can of 7up

Granted, but you're in the trial pool of a new flavor called Nature's Best. Really, it just tastes like dirt and poo in a can.

I wish I could get paid without having to come to work.

Granted, but only because you broke both legs, and now have to stay in bed, in traction, for the next six months. You are now telecommuting with your laptop as your only remaining communication with the outside world. :eek:

I wish UPS would hurry up and bring my sephora order! It's coming today, and has been "out for delivery" since 5 am. BRING IT ALREADY! :D

granted, but the foundation you order is two shades too light and the lipstick melted in the box.

I wish someone would buy my lunch today... never mind that it's 4:30pm and closer to dinner.

granted they bought you lunch and dinner but from the place that was just on the news for the e-coli outbreak.....
I wish I had my 5,000 sq ft dream house mortgage free....

granted but the property tax is $29672067 a year



I wish my stomach would just settle down already.

Granted, but you find out you have an alien symbiote living in it.

My g/f braided my loqs last night and now my head is pounding..I wish she wasn't so heavy handed

granted, but the next time she braids them, they mysteriously fall out, leaving you bald.

i wish the Price is Right was still on so i could've stayed home and watched it.

dont say that...i have had nightmares about losing my loqs....LOL


Granted, but Bob Barker is no longer the host.....Louie Anderson is.....


I wish I could nap in my office and not get caught.

Granted, but you sleep through an imporant meeting and get fired anyway.

I wish that I no longer got migraines! UGH!!

granted, but now you have cramps. ACK!

i wish i didn't eat when i'm not hungry.

granted now you smoke

I wish I could have coe to work late today and no one cared

i HATE cigarette smoke! ewwwww!

okay, wish granted, but now GC is blocked on your work PC for the day.

i wish i would get this durn job interview already - it's time to get the hayle outta here!

granted, but you get a run in your hose, your heel breaks, your deodorant fails and worst of all, you realize your resume you submitted mysteriously wasn't formatted properly (thus the nature of corrupting wishes!! heheheh) but you still go...to top is all off, the person who interviews you is a guy who remembers being blown off by you many years ago.




I wish paris hilton was sent to mars

^^^ now you know that aint right! i've had hose rip on me on the way to an interview too! and i did go to an interview once where my resume was off a little - it was minor but it bothered the ish outta me!


okay, wish granted. but when she vacations on Earth, she crashes on your couch!

i wish this biznatch at my job would bak the eff up.

Granted, she does "bak the eff up"-but ends up in your bosses office and voices her worries about your job performance and dedication.


I wish I as an oscar mayor wiener cuz that is what I'd truly love to be-e-e.

granted...but you were in a bad batch and give a kid a nasty case of salmonella poisoning


I wish barry bonds gets the news that he has been banned forever from baseball 1 homerun shy of the record

^^^ you are crude! i hope you never pop out of my wish lamp!

wish granted but you've been chosen to replace him and your baseball skills leave MUCH to be desired. now everyone wants a refund.

i wish there wasnt a 5-line limit in our siggies.

hehehehehehe @ the wish lamp

Granted....now it's a one line limit and no colors are allowed.

I wish i could be tld's wish lamp

bwhahaha, okay, wish granted, but instead of rubbing the lamp to get your wishes, you have to bang it against a brick wall - repeatedly.

I wish some other folks would corrupt wishes with me.

your wish is granted! but now other people are joining your mis-wish dishing, the POlice are treating your corrupting of wishes as gang-related incidents. The Man has got a file on you. wishful profiling is a bitch.

i wish my attorneys could combine to form a super-attorney, like Voltron.

LOL try saying that 5 times fast.

ok your wish is granted, but Voltron charges like $5K an hour. you sure it's worth it?

I wish someone would pay my rent for me...

Granted...but now you have no way to pay them back...and the have a hungry gleam in thier eyes....


I wish I knew what i wanted for lunch today

of course i have no way to pay them back! if i had the $ i'da paid my own rent!


i'll grant your wish ... but you will spill ketchup or something on your shirt and it's gonna piss you off.

i wish i had my own stapler instead of having to borrow my co-worker's... i been working here for 5 weeks now!

I that's ok....i got wet naps...LOL

Granted...but u have ABSO FRICKIN LUTELY NO staples to put in your new shiny staples.....

I wish kobe would fight tiger

granted - but Tiger busts Kobe's azz, gets real gansta and decides to drop an album produced by 50 Cent.

I wish I had a flashy new wardrobe that fit in all the right places.

granted but they are all one color....hot pink.

I wish beyonce and Jay Z would break up

^^^ granted, but then Jay-Z rebounds with your girl.

I wish my brother would stop stealing from me.

ta da! now he's robbing gas stations. check out the news at 10, he'll be one of the guys robbing the Shell station. he'll look at the camera. sans mask.

i wish Kanye West didn't perform at the Live Earth concert.

Granted...but now he will be performing live in your living room for the next 6 months of weekends. (shudder) AND you have to meet all his contract demands.

I wish it was fall out, because my ac isn't working well today.

Granted, it magically turns into fall. But, due to the evironmental crisis, all the leaves fall off of every single tree and clog your heating/AC pipes. So, now, you have no heat.

I wish it was 9:45p already!

Granted, but the world will be ending at 10:00PM. You have 15 minutes to say goodbye to your loved ones.

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain a pound.

granted but you have a constant case of the runs.....


i wish my new BF would propose....

granted, but he proposes that you two just remain friends and consider joining a commune together.

I wish for Roger Clemens to go back to the Red Sox