Granted, but in so doing, you accidentally run over your boss on your way into the parking lot and get arrested; now you are in jail.

I wish for a diamond tiara to wear around my house while I clean.

Granted...the diamond was real....the gold was fake and now you have a green ring on your forehead


I wish my sandwich tasted better

sandwich wish granted. but it will raise your cholesterol level by 350%.

i wish i could hang out with Vince Vaughn.

Granted but you get Vince Vaughn from Psycho and not Vince Vaughn from Dodgeball.



I wish I had a copy of the new Harry Potter book.

granted but the last chapter was removed before you left the store.

I wish I had Halo 3

Granted, but it sucks.

Also Princess Diana is a Zombie (unanswered wish)

I wish for my own private plane.

*gasp* That was cruel about the book. ;)

Granted but your power shuts off in the middle of playing b/c of unpaid bills.

Granted but your plane has no propellers.


I wish my homework was already done.

Granted but that same power outage wiped your hard drive and you find yourself at 2am starting all over again to hand it in on time @ 9am


NOW!!! HA!!


I wish I had some ice cream right now


(5 secs off of taking my co worker's daughter's ice cream......and it's hot as Hades outside.)

ta da! ice cream. but the ice cream man stashed his crack in the cream. your crack addiction is gonna have you eating dog food and on A&E's "Intervention" faster than you can say, "Tyrone Biggums."

i wish i was diving into some water right now.

Ok, but just so you know, the water is 40 degrees.

I wish the workday was done.

Granted! You get to go home where a dog with the shits awaits you.


I wish I weighed 20 pounds less.

Granted, but you find out how you lost weight after you shit out a 5 ft tapeworm.

I wish I could have a whole day to sleep.

Granted but that sleep turns into a full blown coma!

I wish I had enough money to buy an engagement ring for my lady.

you do only until you find out she thought the thing was too small and wont marry you until you get something 3x as big

I wish I had a new ipod

wish granted, but the only song you can upload is the "macarena"

I wish I could go to all of the Colts' games this season.