I could never deal with it, but I admire your viewpoint.

The thing I don't like about this is that if you and your spouse want to do that, it's fine with me - but why is it NOT fine with you that I don't want to and would find it disrespectful. I don't really care what you do, but I think that my relationship should be monogamous before and after marriage, and that has nothing to do with my panties.

Wishful thinking? If it were my boyfriend, I would drop him. If it were my husband, I would probably separate for a time but would not divorce because I don't believe in it. We'd need some MAJOR therapy but God forgives so I do too.

I'm wondering if you're serious (you would do this yourself) or if you're trying to make a point????

I'm going to have to agree with GeekyPenguin here. I could care less what you do in your relationships and your marriage (or anyone else's, for that matter) but I like my monogomous relationships just fine thank you and I think your last sentence was unnecessary.

I respect how you feel. But would you be okay with your boyfriend doing it every night or other night? Would you be okay with your boyfriend saying to you "hey baby, we can't go out tonight. I'm going to go out with the boys to a club and I'm going to pick up some woman and bang her all night."?

I just don't know why it would be okay to do it one night but not many nights before you are married.

I'm feeling like we should be stocking up on Swingers' Club memberships for some GCers... because really, what is the difference?:confused:

I am so sending BOTH of my brothers to my future husband bachelor party. With 6'4 and 6'5 brothers in residence, even if he was tempted there is NO WAY... ;) ha ha ha ha ha

That depends. Is he sneaking behind my back, or is he being upfront about it? Is there a double-standard at play? Because if there is, then all bets are off.

Y'know, I just don't think sex is all that big a deal.

Well, I'm already married, but my husband and I talked about all of this stuff before we got married. We had ground rules about what was and what was not acceptable behavior. It turns out neither of us decided to walk that line, but to me, what's most important here is not that it was on the table, but that we had an open enough system of communication to talk about this issue instead of sneaking around it.

Oh, and for everyone getting all in a lather about my "panties in a knot" comment - it's called humor. Relax. ;)

I'm curious - why make the distinction between your boyfriend and your husband? Are there degrees of infidelity?

(I'm not attacking you, I'm just interested in hearing your POV.)

Swinging usually involves three or more people engaged in sex all at the same time, for starters. That's cool if that's what some people are into - who am I to judge - but it's really not my cuppa tea.

On that note, what you said made me wonder: what if he wants a divorce? Would you not do it because you don't believe in it?
also not trying to attack you here, I was just curious.

No, he's being upfront about it. I mean if you and your partner have the agreement that sex outside the relationship is okay, then by all means go nuts. But do you expect a monogomous relationship while you're dating, but one night is okay as long as you know?

Sistermadly, it's great that you're openminded.

It's not a matter of being conservative in wanting to protect myself from the possible transmission of an STD or HIV as a result of this last hurrah by mr. soon to be hubby. I shouldn't have to get sick or die because he had sex of any kind with Diseased Desdemona.