When you taste forbidden fruit, you will get in a jam.

*giggle*

Personally, I'm so tired of hearing about this dude for all these years (ooh! Black guy playing golf! And straight ahead, you will see the unicorn!) that I don't care if he's doing a goat by the ball washer.[/QUOTE]

OK, I just read this, started laughing and snorted diet coke out of my nose. How very unladylike.

LMAO! I'm sooo setting this as my facebook status (with appropriate citation of course, lol.)

I might have to lift it too, because it's frigging hilarious.

The most inappropriate joke I have heard so far:

"So I hear that Phil Mickelson is hiring Elin to teach him how to beat Tiger".

And no, this wouldn't be funny the other way around, yes it is a double standard.

I heard one from a sportswriter friend, and I mess it up each time I try to tell it. I hope to see him over the weekend to get it down right.

even funnier

I know there was a lot of suspicion about drugs being involved in the crash, and now there are reports that he was admitted to the hospital for overdosing on ambien and vicodin:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/1..._n_383644.html

Many of you have probably already seen or played this, but for your enjoyment:

http://www.break.com/games/tiger-woods-wife-outrun.html

a friend sent it to me, i was just thinking of how to post it on here when i saw your post. yay! i got 117 :o

Woods voted top athlete of the decade:

http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4747530

Rumor control, right here:
With new and improved working links...click here to see

Short version:

On Thanksgiving Day, after he and Elin and the family had turkey dinner, he spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch watching football and texting Rachel. After each received and sent text message he would clear his message box to rid himself of the evidence. Sometime in between there, one of his Orlando buds called him to see if he wanted to get together at the Clubhouse to play poker with the guys, to which Tiger said yes. Tiger left the house around 7:30 to go play poker, and left behind his cell phone….and one message he had forgot to delete from Rachel.


When Tiger returned home around 11:30 -12 that night, Elin confronted him about the text message in the phone, and the started a heated discussion to its regards. According to what I was told, there was more “incriminating evidence” than just the text message (i.e. photos). Tiger tried to play it off to Elin by telling her she was reading too much in to it, and did not know the story, etc. Tiger went upstairs to change into his gym shorts and t – shirt, came back down, and Elin confronted him again; to which Tiger gave the same story. Tiger sat down in a chair in the living room, and Elin sat across from him urging Tiger to just come clean. Tiger stayed to his guns and denied everything. At one point Tiger turned away to look at the TV, and as he turned back, Elin hit him on the right side of the face with the head of a 9 – iron. When she struck Tiger, she put a huge gash in the right side of his face next to his nose (causing his nose to bruise some), and virtually knocking two of his upper teeth out, and breaking the bone on the upper right side. Tiger ran scared as hell out of the house (which is why he had on no shoes) with Elin swinging the golf club throughout the hallway to the garage (i.e. causing the severe damage which has been reported). Tiger hoped in the Escalade and tried to leave; and as we know Elin knocked out the windows in the Escalade. When Tiger crashed, Elin panicked and was not sure what to tell the police (which is why there are two conflicting stories from her). When this happened, Elin immediately called Mark Steinberg to tell him what happened, and Mark told Elin to tell him what hospital they were going to, and he would meet them there.


Tiger is transported to the hospital with Elin in the ambulance, and as they arrive Mark is there waiting for them. The people from the hospital and the doctors take Tiger in for X-Rays etc to check out the damage caused. The doctors tell Mark there is not much they can do to repair the teeth and the gash, but the doctor knows a cosmetic dentist and plastic surgeon in Phoenix who will make Tiger look as if nothing happened. Tiger tells Mark to get the jet ready and let’s head to Phoenix to get this done. Friday after Tiger is released from the hospital, he does not return home; he and Mark board the plane for Phoenix. If you remember FHP kept showing up at Isleworth to talk to Tiger, and was told by another FL attorney (who Tiger hired for PR reasons) Tiger was not ready to talk. Well now we know why, he was in Phoenix, and did not arrive back in Orlando until either late last Wednesday night or early Thursday morning. The surgeries were more intense than what they had originally planned, which meant Tiger was in PHX longer than he should have been. Upon arriving back in Orlando, Tiger and Elin have been in intense marriage counseling sessions (up to 6 to 7 hours a day) every day! Both Tiger and Elin have told the counselors they love each other, and want to make the marriage work. The reports you are reading on TMZ and RadarOnline are about 30% accurate at best according to Mark.

Link doesn't work. also, i saw this on twitter: @MrsNutcase215: Happy Birthday Tiger Woods, you little man whore, you.

LMAO