Granted...except you now have Jessica Simpson saying "Buffalos don't have wings" on repeat in the background.

I wish I had a glass of wine right now.

Granted but now they know where you live.....


I wish I could go on a 2 week cruise right now

***see my wish above***

Granted but your house is infested with termites and you are forced to move in with her

granted, but you get that wonderful stomach virus and spend all but your last day in your room.

i wish i could leave for lunch right now.

Granted - but your lunch consists of Weed-Rat Stew and moldy cheesecake.


I still wish for my glass of wine...

granted. but the grapes were stomped by 3 lumberjacks after a hard day of walking thru the forest.

i wish it werent so hot outside.

granted but now it's minus 50 degrees....hell has frozen over

I wish I could survive jumping from a window

Granted, but then you trip over your own feet and fall into an open manhole.

I wish the phone would stop ringing.

Granted, but you end up landing on a bum and killed him...in addition, you end up stinkin smelly for the rest of your life.

I wish I could go on the internet all day without my boss catching me :p

now, no one ever calls you. EVER.


ta da! you're now addicted to porn.



I wish I could drive a golf ball farther.

Granted, but you now have to pay for the expensive designer stained glass window that your golf ball broke...

I wish the sun would come out...

granted, but now you live in Alaska where the sun is shining 24/7 for 6 months straight and you go crazy from insomnia

I wish my house would clean itself

granted except the house turns on you thinking you are a virus and u are expelled...


I wish I had Bill Gate's Money, Tony Parker's Woman, and Ophrah WInfey's house(s)

wish granted. but you also got Lyle Lovett's looks, Bruce Bruce's weight, and Michael Moore's personality.

i wish lightning would strike a lightning bug.

O DAYUM YOU!!! LOL


Granted except the bug rebounds into your house and the static electricity burns your house down.....and you didnt have insurance


I wish sharks would stop biting people

granted! but now they are tying up the drive thru at Wendy's...


i wish my pen hadnt run out of ink.

granted, but as soon as you start writing again, the ink explodes all over your shirt!

I wish I knew exactly what to get my dad for his birthday!

:mad: :mad: No, something aweFUL happened on Thursday. We found out that we're all going to be out of work in two weeks.



granted, but it turns out that the gift he wants is something dirty


I wish I had something yummy to eat.

You get something good and juicy to eat... but take a bite finding a whole bunch of worms crawling in and out! :p

I wish hubby would get home from class already.

Really sorry to hear that by the way.

Granted, he's home -- with his new female friend from class.

I wish that when I leave town this weekend, I could take two weeks off intead of just one.

Granted, but that second week will be spent in traffic on the roads & airports, and the kids will get whiny.


I wish the raccoons that come up on my deck would disappear!

Granted but they are replaced by rapidly breeding rabbits.


I wish my friend would just STFU!!!

Granted they do becuase they are not your friends no more

I wish terrorists would just drop dead.

Granted, all the current terrorists drop dead. But then everyone thinks Bush is such a great President that they forgo the two term rule and he is elected a third time! :eek:

I wish the money fairy would supply me with the money needed to pay my bills.

Granted but she gives you Monopoly money!


I wish my back would stop hurting.

it does but your spinal cord is removed A la Mortal Kombat

I wish Barry Bonds would drink milk

Granted, He drinks a glass of milk, and chokes on it, goes into a coma to not wake up again for fifty years.


I wish the rain would stop so I could play golf today.

...that actually might not be a bad thing....LOL

Granted but you get to course and it's completly flooded...plus you forgot the balls...so you go home and stare at ur Jem Collection (shameless cut to the Flashback Friday thread...LOL)

I wish I could create the ultimate addictive thread that people would call in sick to post on

Granted...but then GC would crash and be down for a week.

I wish I would get pregnant in the next few months.

Granted, but it's the devil's child.

I wish my dogs would stop barking at every noise outside.

Granted, but burglars break in to your house and you sleep through it.

I wish for a date with the blond bartender across the street.

Granted, but you soon discover that the blond bartender is not the gender you intended to date.

I wish for a trip to Europe!

Granted, but your traveling companions consist of Chevy Chase, 2 screaming kids and no family truckster.

I wish for a new watch, something sleek and expensive.

granted, but while you're there World War III breaks out all over Europe.


granted but it breaks two seconds after you buy it.



I wish I had more money.

Granted!...but, it says Monopoly on it.

I wish my sunburn was gone.

granted but now you have herpes....

I wish I was married to Denzel

Granted but it is the 'White' version as seen here:

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f2...051735SP_w.jpg

I wish my promotion would come a little earlier at work.

Oh and this was the original picture of Denzel
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f2...005/denzel.jpg

granted, but your promotion involves tons of extra work and overtime...now you have no life


I wish there were more hot guys in my life.

Granted, but they are all "hot" in the literal sense, and as such they all have major sweating and BO problems.

I wish I had a house to live in instead of this crappy apartment!

Granted, but your house is literally "the Money Pit" and you fall through the floor, unable to escape spend a week starving, with rats gnawing on your ankles.

I wish hubby's back wasn't hurting so I could be playing golf right now!!!