To Michael Jackson: After this trial is all said and done, I suggest no more sleepovers with boys, no matter how sick they are. Or girls. Have them over for tea or cookies and milk with their parents there the ENTIRE TIME!!

To the Building Owners On Avenue H: Please salt the ice that is in front of your buildings, if not for me, but at least for the residents of your buildings. Don't let me have to call 311 on y'all!! :mad

To T: I am sorry that your life is what it is now. Actually I am not. You have not changed one bit. You are still a wanna-be pimp who likes to talk out of both sides of his mouth. You are all about what you want and need and damn everyone else. This is why in spite of the fact that you make a good living, you have nothing because your baby mamas take it all. They are just like you, T. They too all about what they want and need and damn you, the kids they have with you, and everyone else. Just as long as they get paid. I told you that you were passing up a good thing when you didn't want to marry me. I told you that you would never find anyone else like me. Now I see that I'm right. Even now, when I tried to be your friend and listen to you talk about how your baby mamas are treating you, you still are all about you. So 18 years of friendship and love have come down to this. I want to hate you but I can't. I want to feel bad for you but I don't. All I can say is that may the seagulls in Mobile peck your eyes out and your braids unravel and you look like a hot, flaming, nappy MESS!!!

To W.M.B.

I'm really sad to see things turn out this way between us. I always thought that the plans that we discussed were as close to a sure thing as one could ever ask for. I never imagined that you would be so selfish. There is no way in hell I would ever put your needs before my child's. My son comes first. This is not something that is open for discussion or negotiation. Why would you want to be with a woman that would neglect her child for a man? It speaks directly torward her maturity and womanhood or lack there of. In addition, I am not interested in being with a man that would expect and accept such behavior from a woman. He clearly is not a man but a selfish child. I don't have romantic relationships with children. I am a grown, responsible, mother of a beautiful son who is everything and all things on this Earth to me. The only thing more important in my life is GOD. Take a number buddy or get out of line. I can only hope that you you feel the same way about your own son.

I wish you all the best in life. You have crossed the line, broken my trust, hurt, and insulted me. I hope you never find the kind of woman you are looking for. The children of the world deserve so much better and so do I.

Dayum. :eek:

You put me in check and this has NOTHING to do with me. :o

To JB:

If you are ALL THAT, why are you going to the senior citizens place to get your light bill paid. If you are going to go all out...GO ALL OUT! :rolleyes: :o *smh*

Dear "You",

STFU please. :mad:

Signed,
Me

To Shaq: You just have me DYING with your description of Penny, Ko**** and Dwyane Wade as Fredo, Sonny and Michael Corleone, respectively.

One question, though, if Dwyane starts showing some ego like Ko****, will he be cast out of the family?
:confused:

Dear YOU,

For real, you couldn't just PM me. :mad:

Signed,
It's Whatever

Dear Heffalupagus,

Wuddn't nobody talking 'bout you, but it can be arranged.

Signed,
'Bout it

To R.L.C.

You are a stalker. Period. Leave my friends alone and STOP emailing/IMing/SPAMing them asking them about me.

To Krappa :mad:: Please stick to your guns and leave me the heck alone! You seem to think that the world is yours and every woman wants you, let them have your sorry azz! You @!%$&*!!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: As of tomorrow my cell number will be changed and your emails will be blocked. Why is it when I'm happy as hell minding my own, you try to find a way to slip in a cause drama?! BASTID!!!!

Dear Ms. Bout It,

Surely you don't want none of this. I'll go MADEA on you. Respect my gangsta,


2 Fangas,
Madea's Niece

Dear Madea's Niece,

I'm too tired to think of a clever comeback so I'll just say,
I am rubber, you are glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!

Signed,
Neva Skurrred

P.S. Bet you won't cross this line!

-------------------------

:p

Dear Neva Skurrred,

Not only do I cross that line, I TRANS EUROPE EXPRESS all over that line. Repeat that mothaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! :p

Love Always,
The Baddddddest Chick :cool: :o :p


P.S. I double dog dare you to bring me some Popeye's. :D

Dear 1sd and CT4:

Ya'll are cracking me up this morning. Thanks, b/c I sholl do need it... lol.


Signed,
amused reader

Dear Amused Reader,

Laughter is the chicken soup for my soul. Hakuna Matata and Nyam Ya Ho Reng Kye Kyo.


Head Nod,
Ms. Bout It:cool:

Dear the "BADDDDDest" Chick, (LOL)

If I was off this weekend, I would roll up there with some Popeye's chicken and biscuits, knock on your door with a smile and when you answer...accidently drop it in your neighbor's cat food then do the electric slide down your steps like :p. NAHHHHH
Since I have to work, I'll just go get some and call you and gloat while I eat it. :D

Signed,
I AIN'T no chicken!

*"I ain't no joke" playing in the background*

Dear CHICKEN HEAD,

May Travis come knock on your door wearing layers and layers of coats so you all can have 12 Play in your kitchen with 2 midgets spanking you while Nelly's Dilemma is playing!!!!! :o :p

Most Affectionately Yours,
Queen City's Finest (spin off of Chi Town's Finest from Barbershop #1)





P.S. MYSOATK!!! :p

**walks away singing LL Cool J's I'm Baaaaaaaad!!!:cool:

*TWEEEEEEEEEEEET*

FOUL ON THE PLAY!!! :mad:

As moderator (ref),

I state there is no foul on the play!! :D

ROFLMAO

Best regards,
Author of Maury Povich Love Stories :o ;) :p

Aww hayle naw! :mad:

YOu can't be a fighter AND the referee, that's a conflict of interest! ;) I nominate TONYB06 to be the ref!
:D

VETO that nomination!:mad:


Dear SORMK,

I have just posted all of your contact info on www.Wanttobelostinlove.com

HA,
THE MASTER!!!

would my serving as ref compromise any pre-exiting "relationships" I had with either of the participants :p

*whispering: I ain't 'bout to mess up mine....* :cool:

No it wouldn't Big Daddy!

BTW, you look SEXY in those tight, black pants and those stripes just set your chest OFF! You GO boy! *winks and pinches Tony's butt* :p


*DING, DING*
ROUND 2!!!

*dead*

...so far, 1savvydiva has a commanding lead. ;)

(hey, I'm easy. what can I say?)

GROSSS!!!!!!! **VOMITS** Imma need you all to take that ISHT to PM.

Dear Booty Pincher,

I also just registered you on EURWeb.com and BlackVoices.com and ManlyMenzes.com :p

Best Regards,
Ms. Yeah, I went there

Dear Tony,

For real tell me what color her eyes are.

Best regards,
A Man's ego is so easily fed.

To Israel on College Hill: You are straight nasty. Remember: What goes around, comes around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



To that short dude: You worked my nerves. I don't return your calls for a reason... dah, I don't want to talk to you so STOP CALLING ME. :mad:

To J: A hard head makes a soft (you know the rest). You better look around before you catch a right hook. Keep it up my 8 mile gone come out fa real.


To Bug Eyed Fool: Remember I told you to stop texting me...well now you've moved on to asking different people about me. Well that "I'm sorry BS" will not work, isn't going to work and you better get on before you catch a NIKE in the arse. DO NOT CALL MY MOMMA( how did you get the number in the first place) because she is not on your side AND she really doesn't care. Keep it up this evening and I'll make a trip to the City County Building for a PPO and a borrow someone's CCW. Stop the madness bruh!!!

To V: I love you like a sister and if I have to take a trip to the Lone Star State your employer will see me for real. I will set it off and go Madea on them if they don't stop stressing you.

To my dog: I love you like a child but if you don't stop barking. I don't know what I'll do because you are so darn cute but just please stop barking so momma can go to bed.

Self,
Get it together! What you could have done is did what your Mama told you to do, but no you wanted to be all independent. So deal with the fact that you are in Ft. Worth. Take this year to handle all your business to make that move to Houston even better. Take an LSAT course, take the LSAT, take the GRE, GMAT, take every test!!! Get information on the Dual Degree program at U of H. Find some sponsors!!! Get fluent in spanish, why the "h" not? Start searching for jobs in Houston. Get back in contact with Boeing, Halliburton and keep your ties with Lockheed Martin they do have that space operations facility in Houston. Oh yea start looking for grants for school. You are an African-American woman and that is enough to not have to pay for law school, shoot! Now that we have had this talk go check out some websites for all that we have discussed. A year ain't that much time, Miss Thang!

Me
*I already feel better*

P.S. Mi Rey hopefully when I get there you will be retired and not so busy!!! With them legs and full lips!

B is for boooooooooooooo!
 

TO SM:

Yeah, the complex, well my building has been going through some cosmetic upgrades recently. Still, when were you going to notify the residents of my building that $381 was being deducted from our rent? ( I learned this after I threatened to get an attorney b/c my stove hasn't been fixed/replaced, after it was reported 14 days ago.) Yeah, I'm :cool:er than a fan with this, but MY DAYUM STOVE/OVEN is NOT working. After I called yesterday about this matter, you said it would get fixed yesterday or today (2nd promise...told same thing a week ago). When I get back from my trip this weekend, it best be fixed. It may be April Fool's Day, but I'm going to show you (along with my attorney) who the fool REALLY is. :rolleyes: I don't care how much money is being deducted..it has NADA to do with the appliance, or does it? hmmmmm!



It's not like I do hellafied cooking, but it's the dayum principle of the matter. :rolleyes:



Lord, please let the "you know what" come through for me so I can L-E-A-V-E! :D

Re: B is for boooooooooooooo!
 

TO SM:
Thank you for doing your job.

To that short dude: I haven't spoken to you, even though you keep calling, in the longest time...... Dude, I don't want you. Oh, ya need to deal with your baby mama. :mad:Both of yall need to lose my number! Thanks! :D

To M: It irritates me that your wife is insecure for no reason. You 2 are perfect for each other.


To Mn: Just met you, you seem like a ok dude.

To self: It might seem shady for those that eventually make the cut, but whenever you meet any new dudes... please give them a fake name regardless if they seem decent or not. When dealing with dudes, the ultimate goal is to be DRAMA FREE. Dudes withe Baby Mama drama need not apply!

To J:

Girl I love you but your stressing my life. You knew how important my career was to me before we started talking. I worked so hard for us for our future. Damn. why the F**K cant you see that. Why I got to explain that Sh*T all the time. You really think this sh*t is easy. Like I can walk in there at 9:00 and leave at 5:00.

To self: Let women know up front expect me to work 12 hour days and come home mentally drain sometimes and need a couple of hours just vegging out in front of the TV without having to hear about this, that and the third. Ok maybe thats not good first date convo but do that like real soon in the relationship.

Stay in your lane woman!
 

Dear MJ,

Leave me alone. I know what I'm doing. I know in that little twisted mind of yours, you mean well. However, all you are doing is underminding my authority and making my job harder. Also, tell the truth. It's real simple. Finally, you bet not come at me with a stank attitude. I already have to try real hard to bite my tongue. I'm really trying to live righteous, but people insist on testing me everyday. Please, don't be the person that catches it all when I reach the breaking point.

In short, stay in YOUR lane. Thank you.

Re: Stay in your lane woman!
 

MJ. me thinks you betta leave well enough alone. :p

To some Island Men:

Why is that when you just meet a woman, you automatically tell her that you love her?

Even though, I understand that you really like the woman... it still annoys me.


Sincerely,

A slightly annoyed Jamaican woman :p

To Essence Magazine:

Thank you for including my cousin Army Sergeant Pamela Osbourne amongst the soldiers featured in the "They Never Made It Home" article. We miss her so much. May she Rest In Peace.

Signed: Truly grateful