I would not be against taking a married and/ or a woman that has kids because sorority, regardless of affliation, is a life membership. If sorority was limited to the undergrad experience then I could understand the hesitantion of admitting these women, but very few organizations just emcompass only the undegraduates, Eventually many of us have to find a way to balance family, work, and our involvement in our respective orgs, and I know this can be done b/c I watched my mother do it all my life! That's just my .08 cents

So anyway. I agree with the people that say the reality is that most girls are not likely to get a bid in a normal Formal Rush system if the its known that the PNM is pregnant.

I just wish we would come out and say it. She's too different. We cut people for all kinds of reasons, many of them are superficial and some are not rational.

But we need to just say: we didn't like him/her, or he/she was too different. All this rationalization is intellectually dishonest. Your average sophomore member is not sitting there catalouging all the problems with a pregnant member, if only because she probably really doesn't know what those problems would be. Its a visceral reaction.

Call a spade a spade.

We did it in my own chapter, I have seen kids get cut because someone had a problem with them in grade school and could sway enough votes to prevent them from getting a bid.

I don't know about sororities but it has to be damn near unanimous when voting on new members for fraternity chapters.

Yes, this is it exactly!

I have said that all along. Somebody is going to get cut. It can be because she's pregnant; it can be because she's wearing white shoes after labor day; it can be because she went to the wrong high school; it can be because she dated a sister's boyfriend; it can be because her toenail polish was chipped. We have to cut people, because there are such things as quota and total, which preclude us from offering bids to 500 women each fall. The truth is that probably 95% of the PNMs are perfectly lovely people who would do just fine in any house on our row. But release figures say we have to cut people and, if a PNM is at an obvious disadvantage (like being pregnant) then it makes our job easier.

It may be old and tired, but it's a solid comparison. The job interview.

Many qualified candidates may apply for the position, but the hiring is limited. It doesn't even HAVE to mean "we" don't like them, it's just that there are others "we" like better or relate to more readily.

I can't recall who posted it, but they used a "what if" situation where the sister gets pregnant after initiation. That is something to ponder as we examen our personal feelings on this subject.

I've been reading all these posts about 27 year olds being in a sorority. I personally am 27 years old and pledged my sorority a year ago. I'm more dedicated to the sorority then some of my 19/20 year old sisters and am social chair. I went to college right after high school but took some time off when my father died and I got married. I went back to school after I was separated and decided that I really wanted to experience sorority life. I live in an apartment off campus and my roommate is 19, turning 20 this month. We are the best of friends. I'm highly mature, so please don't doubt my maturity. I have friends of all ages, including my boyfriends 15 year old sister who I can relate to quite easily.

I don't think it's fair to judge a person on their age. Yes I'm 27, but that doesn't make me less of a sister than anyone else. I go to school full time and work full time as well and still dedicate mounds of time to DZ. I wouldn't make any changes to my life.

I think it's very narrowminded to say that only girls of a certain age bracket should be able to pledge. You're missing out on a lot of wonderful women with that kind of attitude.

My sisters have accepted with open arms, actually begged me to join when I first came out and have never thought twice about my age.

What you say is correct. Just understand that you are dealing with a population that may have never have much considered what life actually is like, versus what they believe life should be like.

You should graduate high school at 18. You should finish college at 22. You should be married by 25-30. You should be thinking/doing this, that, or the other thing, by such and such a chronological age.

I don't think its malice. For some people I think its just very limited life experiences. And there are others that are so overwhelmed by the variety and often cruelty of life, that they try to see only those people that conform to their limited world view and ignore the rest.

Try not to feel that you need to justify yourself to people that just haven't experienced many of the gray areas of life yet. It diminishes you and ennobles them, erroneously.

Yeah, what happens here? What if she's planning on giving the child up for adoption so, after he or she is born, the child won't subtract from her being a good active sister?

Has anyone had this experience?

AMEN!!! Thank You DZ Princess!!! You are also an example of how if you want to be in a NPH sorority past a "certain"age, it is possible. :D

We've had several members that had children already.

We've also have had several members get pregnant while active, and they all had to leave the sorority because it was too much for them. Being pregnant takes alot out of you, and doesn't give you alot of time and energy (so i've heard).

I personally wouldn't extend an invite to someone who was pregnant. I would encourage them to try again at a later time. If they already had kids, I might, depending on the situation. For some people, it's hard to balance so many things. And kids take up alot of your time, or at least they should!

Not to mention STUDIES!

Studies take up way too much time in college. I always liked being on campus when I had nothing to do the best. We need college with no studies! Like a summercamp for adults.

I am a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. I just became a member on 4-17-04. I did it undergrad and I have 2 children (one is 6 the other is 12). I did with the support of my family!!!!

I'm sure this thread is really old, but I was just browsing and wanted to tell you that I think your post is a living example of the creed you have in your signature. Way to go!!

I would just like to mention that it is illegal not to hire someone or to fire someone because they are pregnant, specifically because employers were using the same justifications on this board to discriminate against pregnant women. Women spent lots of time fighting to make that type of discrimination illegal, which makes it very ironic that educated college women themselves would be engaging in this type of discrimination.

I'm not saying I'm perfect or that it wouldn't probably take me a minute to overcome my natural prejudices ("she won't have the time or money for a sorority") but I hope that I would have the intelligence to look past that and judge her on her personality and ability to be a good sister.

Keep in mind also that many women come back from serving in the military and are 22, 23, or older and are starting on the GI bill. So they very well may be 27 or 28 before graduating on a completely normal academic schedule. A friend of mine (my roommates ex BF) pledged a fraternity at age 27 after working in the military, getting an associates, then coming here to work on his bachelors. It worked out well for him, he was a great asset to his chapter. Mature when it was needed, immature when it wasn't.

By the way, someone made a comment on the maturity of a mother wanting to pledge in the beginning of the thread...think back to how you were when you were rushing? Bet you were pretty immature. I know I was, and being an active and learning to juggle was a great part of growing up.

I think maybe previous posters didn't mean "she won't have the timr or money for a sorority" in that literal sense. Sure, she will have lots of time and will probably have money, but with a newborn, that just sounds like a lot of work and a lot of commitment. GLOs are a pretty big commitment too.

This isn't an exact parallel, but some larger schools have chapters that mainly look for freshmen or sophomore new members. They might prefer these pnms because they have more time to commit to the collegiate chapter (4+ years as opposed to only 2, 1 or even one semester). Or maybe they are looking for members that will be able to attend all their required events... or whatever. That's just one of the things they might look for in a new member. Individual membership selection is up to each GLO and each chapter. One chapter may look for an attribute that another chapter does not emphasize as much. (like there might not be 547 events with AB chapter, so time commitment to events outside of meetings is minimal, but what if CD chapter was a bigger school with a more-involved Greek system and had many other outside-meeting time requirements?)

I guess in short it is not up to the chapters to decide that Mary Sue should spend her time and money on a baby that will be born in 7 months... that's not their call...that's up to Mary Sue to decide how she will juggle things. However, the chapter can decide that maybe they want members that can be more available and able to attend all events, help them meet or exceed the GPA requirement or win Greek Week or whatever. Joining a GLO is a big thing.. you're joining something bigger than an individual... there is a lot of time and commitment involved in it, and it is up to the chapters to select members they think will be able to help them achieve the chapter's goals.