I have a cousin, who's 8 That we have secretly named the one most likely to sport a prison uniform because she likes to steal. She came to my apt. and sat in the bathroom and ate a whole bag of strawberry flavored Hall's Vitamin C drops. She thought they were candy. Why would I hide candy in the medicine cabinet? She also stole my grape flavored lipstick and a few other things. Now when I hug her goodbye, I also do a secret frisk and pat down. Her sister is an Oscar winner in the making because she is a true drama Queen. I told her a few weeks ago if she came to this weekend's barbecue with an attitude, I was gonna set her straight. She behaved, but ninety minutes into the picnic, she grabs her stomach, screams and bust out in a shower of tears. She said the hot links were too hot. Duh, they're called hot links.
But the person who steals the show is my older cousin who talks back to you in lines from old movies. It goes something like this:

Me:Good morning, how are you?
Cousin: I love the smell of Napalm in the morning
Me:Would you like some more beans?
Cousin: You trying to help Ike?
One time he told his son in front of his new girlfriend " How does it feel to be me?" BTW Tony, that's from the five heartbeats
:D

Needless to say we don't invite him to many outings.

Vanda, you really need to stop telling stories on people!! This can not possibly be true!! I am over here ROTFF!!!!!!

Girl, I wish I was! This has been going on since the 80s and by now we just expect it. I must admit we were part of the problem because when he first started we thought it was cute. Now it just grates on my nerves. But thankfully, it seems he only does it around the family as far as I know.

At least you're getting a gift. One of my older aunts is the kind that pull you over to the side at Christmas and any other time where gifts are given and whisper " Baby, I didn't forget about you. Money got a little tight but I'm still gonna get you something". I'm still waiting. :rolleyes: :D

I've read this many times and crack up laughing.

How long has he been doing this and has he ever spoke out of movie terms?

He has been talking like this since the early 80s. It really got bad after Scarface came out. Yeah he talks like a regular person at work. It's only around family and very close friends that he becomes a walking movie script.

Well, he's not exactly crazy, just fun. My favorite cousin is the old bachelor of the family (I'm the old maid) and no one will let us sit together at funerals or weddings because we cut up and laugh about silly stuff. My little great-aunties (may they rest in peace) would get really annoyed because we acted up. Yes, we were grown and knew better, but he is just funny!!

Drunk Uncle...Yeah Baby, Yeah!
 

I have a drunk uncle that came to a family funeral drunk; mind you, he wasn't drunk because of unbridled remorse...just drunk because it was another day. Unfortunately, he decided to say a few words on the decedent's behalf and in a drunken stupor, began to thank "ups" for bringing him gifts from the decedent.

Now it took us audience a little while to figure out that "ups" was really UPS that he was thanking...I had to pray that I didn't laugh out loud at this!

...because it's that time of the year
 

ttt