I think dating greek men is different in some way because they undertand the hard work and the meaning of sisterhood and brotherhood a little bit more. I wish at my campus we had more fraternities because I would love to find me an Awesome Greek Man
:-D Hey if ya know where to find a good one in GA let me know O:-)
ZL
Flor De Mayo

Okay...here's a scenario. One of my really good friends is dating someone in a fraternity. She complained about how she couldn't know the secrets. She felt as if the existence of those secrets put the fraternity in a higher position than their 2-month relationship, since they "tell eachother everything".
I tried to explain it to her that he was a brother before she came into his life, he'll be a brother after her. She got a little mad at me, saying that I was saying this from a Greek viewpoint. Well, duh! I am especially impatient because I'm currently dating a GDI (of a year and so) who DOES NOT CARE about my ritual...meaning he's not trying to know about it...he has enough respect for it not to inquire. I guess it comes down to maturity and one's sense of security in the relationship.

My question is...have any of you who dated independent had problems with a significant other who wanted to know your ritual, pledging activities, or whatnot? I know I would not be having that go on for more than a day in my relationships. But, that's just me.

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SigKap
I totally agree with you! My boyfriend is Sigma Nu also, and his whole house has definitely sort of adopted me. I think it's great because you get to actually know all of your boy's brothers. And as for dating Greek over Non-Greek, I think Greek is better just because they seem to be better at dealing with the time a sorority takes up and they seem to respect rituals a bit more. Not all GDI's have a problem, but from my experiences, my Greek guy is much better with all of it!

WOW-Great issue. Sorry if this is a sorority only forumn, but I got to put my two cents in. I'm a Delta Chi at Western Michigan University and I feel that there are not as many good girls in the greek scene as I anticipated when I rushed. I'm 25 now (I had to transfer and lost a lot of credits in the process) and I'm a senior. At my age, I am just looking for a nice woman to settle down with, not marry at this time, but to be faithful with and try to make things mature. My cousin was a Delta Zeta here in the mid 80s and met here husband through Delta Chi, kind of a cinderalla story when they tell it. It seems hard at times to believe that we exist. I have been burned by my share of women in the past, but dont's give up! There are greek guys that feel the same. I wish all you girs the best of luck!

-Much love to the greek sisters,
-dchi_pride

I admit it, I'm in love with my Greek man. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gifHe is the best, and I think that his experiences at his fraternity have made him into a TRUE GENTLEMAN. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif He's amazing and so thoughtful, and he understands why sisterhood is so important to me! I don't believe that non-greeks CANNOT understand, I mean...we were all non-greek at one point in our lives too! Maybe it's just coincidence/bad luck, but most of the non-greeks I dated were B*$@holes and did not treat me like the goddess I am. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif But I believe that particularly in college, the more you have in common with someone, especially if your fratnernity/sorority is as important to you as it is to me...it helps to have someone who understands that inner circle. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

I've dated both Greek and non-Greek men. I don't think the level of immaturity is any greater in one than the other. I can say that I definitely had more trouble with my non-Greek guys. They resented the time I spent with my sisters and one even tried to forbid me to go to socials with fraternities! When I ran for President, he got really angry because he didn't want the sorority to monopolize my time.

My non-Greek boyfriends just didn't understand the point of Greek organizations having never been in one themselves, and they couldn't see why I took everything so seriously. Looking back, I can see why they felt the way they did, but it still doesn't excuse it.

Dating Greek men, I know that I have a common bond with them and that they understand the importance of sorority obligations. None of the Greek guys I've dated have ever batted an eye when I had to cut a date short because of a philanthropy event early the next morning, or cancel a date when a sister needed me. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Hello Sorors,

I just wanted to comment on this topic now that it has come to the top again. I am a true blue, or should I say red, fan of those oh so sexy noble men of Kappa Alpha Psi. I mean I love my Alpha brothers but there is something about them Nupes that make we want to keep coming back. I enjoy dating them and I enjoy their friendship. And maybe one day I'll be blessed to marry one. I know the letters don't make the man but their choice in letters certainly sways my vote.

Princess

oh well I dunno if i should post a new topic for this but yeah, the greek man (Sammy) that i mentioned in my previous post in this topic? well we broke up *sob*.rather, he broke up with me. it only seemed like it was yesterday he got down on one knee and sang the Sammys sweetheart song, and I think I was hoping that this was all only a bad dream but it's reality...he felt that the feelings weren't mutual anymore and that his feelings for me weren't as strong as mine for him now. i mean, i dated other guys but this greek guy has been the first and only guy i had an actual relationship with and although rightnow I am totally lost and lonely, (like a part of me died)all i can say is it was a beautiful six months and not once did we get to an argument and like you fellow greek women's men, understood my obligations to my organization. im just glad that in many ways he has been a part of my life and was able to touch it unlike other guys. no one can take away the memories we've had, from the formals to parties, to phone calls and even just holding hands while driving around. well, he made it clear he wanted to still remain friends so i guess that's good *tries to smile*...although i know he's always been a great and nice guy, i know his fraternity has a big role in shaping the mature and caring man he is now. He will always be my friend and vice versa, and Im glad we're still gonna be a part of each other's lives. I could only thank him for everything that we shared not only in the during the relationship but our friendship beforehand. Right now fellow Greek sisters I'm just in mourning and crying out of loneliness, emptiness and pain. If any of you guys have any advice on how to get over breakups, please email me at princess_chunli@hotmail.com. I would really appreciate it how you guys were able to move on...coz right now im just having a hard time dealing with it, even though i know it could be worse (at least he still wants to be friends)this guy is my first love and first boyfriend and so i have no previous experience with heartbreak....

p.s. one thing im afraid of though...is the fact that since he's not mine anymore and when he comes back to school he'd be going to mixers and stuff, meet new people, and ill be doing the same thing, and i might even be jealous of the girls that he meets..coz i don't think im gonna be social in parties for awhile when i get back to school.

If you guys can really email me it would help a lot. thanks for reading my long post.

Gammazetagrl,

That is a VERY mature reaction to a break-up . . . I take my hat off to you.

cheer up girl! I'm sure things will get better! I've personally never had a boyfriend, which I stress over, even though my friends say that I'm lucky because I've never had to deal with a breakup or cheating boyfriends, etc., but as silly as it sounds, I've always wanted to date a greek man. I just want the total fantasy story, like the ones on TLC. I know that some of you must watch the wedding story on TLC. Anyway, I want to get lavaliered, have the candlelight ceremony with my sisters, pinned, the whole she-bang! A lot of my sisters laugh at me when I go on about this, but I just think it would be so cool to one day marry a greek man, and we'd have our greek stuff hanging in our den in our house, and our kids would be legacies...oh...the perfect story. Hehehe. Oh, by the way, what is a Sammy? I'm assuming it's sigma alpha something.

A Sammy is a member of Sigma Alpha Mu Fraternity.

------------------
@~Tracy~@
Proud to be Delta-Z

By the light of the lamp, by the light of the lamp, by the bright shiny light, by the light of the lamp...if you are a DeeZee, you're the best that you can be, by the bright shiny light of the lamp!

you guys, it's me again, the dumpee =(. uh, should i give his stuff back? im not only talking about gifts but i have a couple of his Sammy shirts and even a hat. I guess I should keep the presents but I think he would need his Sammy stuff (even if he has more than enough)back wouldn't he?...Ugh it hurts me to think that a new girl down the road would be having this stuff that used to be for me, but if returning it to him is the way to do it, then I would...anyway, I don't want him to give back the gifts i gave him (heh, what would i do with abercrombie for men cologne?)or even my greek stuff that he has. Well he hasn't asked for anything back yet but I dunno if I should take the initiative to do so, or just plain keep them. What do you guys think?...and what about his lavaliere (which has become a permanent fixture on my throat) should i give it back too? Sorry if I have too many questions...

James and to everyone else,thanks for your reply =) it made me feel lil bit better. I just try to see the positive things because inside im a mess and im doing everything to make everything brighter for me, even though it's real hard.

I see your point with your reply, 33girl. to everyone, thanks again. i was able to talk to him today and i feel much better (though still a lil lonely) and we promised to still be there for each other as friends. i don't wanna end up changing the topic of this forum so i posted a new topic Getting over breakups and if anyone could give me feedback, id really appreciate it because i need all the advice i can get right now.

I have been through many greek relationships.. and they all confuse the living crap out of me!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
ok now that i let that out.. let me explain.. greek men in my opnion are afraid of commitment!
they cant stand being tied down to one greek girl, when there are all those other "groupies" from other organiztions..

my first greek boyfreind was when i was rushing.. i didnt fully understand why he was taking so much time to do this or that..and eventually i broke up with him because he didnt have enough time for me.. well we decided to be freinds.. but when i was finally a pledge he IGNORED MY EXISTENCE! he told all my sisters that he didnt know who i was.. and why some "pycho pledge" was in love with him.. the jerk.. ok well then i went to my first mixer (Pi Kappa Phi) http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif and i met my current "dating person" (hes not my boyfreind but close enough dont know what to call him!) anwyays he is the sweetest and best guy ive ever met.. he truly is a "southern gentleman" we have talked and dated for 6months.. and at first i thought he was annoying cause he called so much.. but eventually we got to getting to know each other.. and now im completely anamored!
he is great.. he helped me learn my creed, knows all my chants and songs.. makes me feel special all the time.. he says im the most importnat girl in his life.. even though he is dating other girls.....
my problem is i dont deal with sharing very well.. and i want him to commit.. but he wont yet http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif i know that when he does it will be wonderful.. but i know he just doesnt want to commit because he is a young "frat guy" ahhhh it sucks.. he tells me everything though.. and even feels guilty when he hangs out with other girls..

i just dont know what to do.. i really want to be his.. and only his.. and him to be only mine! but this whole greek thing i think is making it take a lil longer than hoped for!

why do greek guys not want commitment???? that is like a bad word to them..
i dont get it.. they all confuse the living crap out of me!

sorry this is so long.. i needed to vent http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif



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Love, Honor, Truth

Yes I would definitely give his stuff all back to him. The more you keep it around and see it the harder it will be to get over it. Plus even if he wouldn't care if you had it some of his brothers might. Just box it all up and take it over to him. If he has Greek stuff of yours (other than stuff like formal favors, etc) I would ask for that back also, for the same reason.

Look at it this way, even if some other chick does end up wearing his stuff, YOU wore it first. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

Hi girl...im trying to bounce back from a breakup and so far everything is looking up..

about your deal with not sharing..i understand your point..after all this guy has u completely enamored, and called you the most important girl in his life. but u guys dont claim each other as bf/gf. i know about "commitment-phobic fratboys" *sigh* but since you feel so comfortable with him in the six months seeing each other, then u could think of sitting him down in a conversation and tell him how u felt, know what i mean? tell him it bothers u seeing him with other girls yet he tells u how much he likes u and all that stuff. so it's like, hey what's up with us? =) i dont know, that's just what i think...=) email me at princess_chunli@hotmail.com if u wanna talk or something.

Well...well...WELLLLLLLLLLLL..... i believe that it truly depends on the guy!!! Currently i am dating someone who is a member of Phi Beta Sigma and he just recently crossed this year. I must say that he is the best thing that has happened to me. Even as a NEO he is NOT immature and he is very understanding. He does not disrespect me and we have a great understanding of where we are in our relationship. Dating a non-greek was very difficult because he could not understand the obligation and commitment that I had to my organization and sorors!! But my new honey does and things are going great...so my advice is don't give up on ALL greek men yet...there are still some good ones left...i know because i got the best one!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEE-Yip!!

hey everyone...i read this topic and had to reply...my boyfriend last semester was a greek, and i am a non-greek. I personally had no problems with the situation at all, in fact, i loved it! All of his brothers kind of "adopted" me and it was great to have all these guys kind of looking out for me. While we have broken up since, i know that i will always be welcome at the house and always will be friends with the guys. I'd also love to have my next relationship be with a greek as well http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I just wanted to say that I have dated a greek guy for over two years now and I think that it has been easy on our relationship. We had things in common to talk about with both of us being in a greek organization. It was also nice when we needed to talk about things going on in our houses. We both have experienced it so it is nice to have someone to listen who understands the stress of being in a greek org. sometimes.

On another note. When I started college i was dating someone else who ended up pledging a fraternity. He definitely changed because of his house into someone I did not like at all. When I met my bf now he was already in a fraternity. He is very proud of his fraternity but it never made him anything bur very nice to me. His brothers are all the same way toward girls too. The ex bf on the other hand pledged a house that is very disrespectful of girls and looks at each girl that walks in the front door as a piece of meat. I am so glad I realized all of this early so that I could find a real man in my bf now. I love him and all of his fraternity brothers.

He did a complete 360, huh? Take a moment to think about what you are saying.

I have dated both, and I agree with many of the other posts, whether the guy is Greek or not, has no bearing on what kind of guy he is. However, every GDI I have dated has had a hard time understanding my committment, why I did it in the first place, how I feel, etc...None have been unsupportive, but it is really frustrating to not have them understand my feeling for my sorority.

hey all,
i'm a non greek myself and interested in a kappa...now i really wasn't aware of much of their reputation until my friend told me quite a bit...i have to say, i'm a little critical of how well this could actually work b/c although he's been a perfect gentlemen, i've heard quite a bit of stories.

i guess i'll just have to wait and see if it all blows up or not. oh well.

I'm a non-greek that dated an Alpha who was wonderful, but it was difficult at times. We had to keep our relationship discreet in the beginning because so many people were in our business and couldn't understand why he wasn't dating someone who was greek also. He spent an obscene amount of time with his bruhs and his sands so that was hard too, but everything worked out for us. One of my friends dated a greek and she had MANY problems with his new-found campus fame and all of the girls. I would advise people not to have a serious relationship with a Neo unless they are very mature and can handle all of the new problems that will arise.

[This message has been edited by BlackApplePie (edited June 03, 2001).]

I have dated Greek and non Greek men. Most guys in college are not into commitement...( if I may make such a statement, sorry to all you nice guys out there http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif including my boyfriend hehe ) but I have found that Greek men seem to want commitment even less. Please disagree with me, I would acually like to be wrong.

Well I would disagree with you, I mean, there are also a lot of GDIs that do not like commitment. People may not like to commit for different reasons--school,school involvement,work,finances (yeah I've heard of guys who "cant afford" to have a girl)and maybe they have their own personal problems they want to deal with first. Being Greek already takes up a lot of a person's time to start with and it is up for the people in the relationship to make it work--because if you guys really want to put time aside and do anything to make it work and be used to making adjustments or compromises for each other's schedules, it will.

Trying to bounce back from a breakup, I think it will do me a world of good to be by myself for awhile, it will help me figure out what i really want--get back with him or just be content to be friends, or do i even want a guy in the first place at the moment. it will also help me catch up on stuff that I haven't done in awhile, or at least done less. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif Although if heaven permits and I find myself with a new guy next semester, it would great if he would be Greek again--I just had the greatest time attending formals and stuff, plus he understands the commitment a GLO requires, the interesting traditions (ex. sweetheart songs) and of course, there's the great Greek love present...that also binds us all in the GC network!

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"To supress our feelings only makes them stronger"--from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

From my experience I have found that Greek men and non-Greek men can both me mature and immature. It all depends on they way they are. I have dated both a greek and non-greek and found both to be nice guys. My boyfried now is Greek and he is wonderful!! He isn't wonderful because he is Greek, he is wonderful because of who he is!
As for the Greek dating a non-Greek thing. It can work. The non-Greek just has to learn that there will be committments that the Greek has to make. I didn't understand this compleatly until I became Greek myself.
As for the special 'perks' you get from a chapter when you get engaged or lavaliered...don't not set your sights out to date a Greek guy just for the notoriety of it. Find a guy who makes you happy http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

s_leigh 20
G-Phi-B

This is in reply to all of the women who have had bad experiences with Greek Men.
Just because you don't care for them done not mean that you should state the name of the orginiation that they are from and say how horrible the chapter is. That my friends, is just rude and very childish. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif

This is in reply to all of the women who have had bad experiences with Greek Men.
Just because you don't care for them done not mean that you should state the name of the orginiation that they are from and say how horrible the chapter is. That my friends, is just rude and very childish. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif

I have to agree with s_leigh20 about date who makes you happy. As from my point of view I believe neophyte of any organization tends to be more wild or relationship challenged. Its like when you first come to college, for most people the first semester is party enjoy being away from home and have fun, and as you stay in the system you start to realize you can play but you also have to work. In a Fraternity or Sorority, the neophytes have there fun when they first get initiated and then instead of always having fun, they start to have to plan and organize before they can have fun. So in all fairness I believe as far as greeks go, the neophytes have more of a commitment problem then Senior members, because they are always on the run partying and seeing what they can get themselves into. Just my $.02

I know where referring to men in this topic but I'd like to speak about my experience with greek women as well. I think it can go both ways for both greek men/greek women. I think many people here have hit the nail on the head that those that are greek are a step ahead in the beginning. You both have common ground and understanding of each others commitments. I will say on behalf of the "nice" greek guys that we do often times get lost in the shuffle *L* Often times we're judged with our brothers from what our fraternities reputation is. Not that I agree with it but thats just the way it is. I myself never had a "steady" relationship with a greek girl. I guess as James coined the term I was a cuddy buddy to many and party buddy too. I will say some of my best girl "friendships" have been with greek women. At least those worth mentioning. For me, college was just a time to have fun and bond with my Brothers.

Kevin
Beta Theta Pi Alumnus
Epsilon Mu
Sigma Class Spring '94
George Mason '97

[QUOTE]Originally posted by lilnongreek:
[B]hey all,
i'm a non greek myself and interested in a kappa...now i really wasn't aware of much of their reputation until my friend told me quite a bit...i have to say, i'm a little critical of how well this could actually work b/c although he's been a perfect gentlemen, i've heard quite a bit of stories.

i guess i'll just have to wait and see if it all blows up or not. oh well.

where do u go to school bc that sounds alot like out Kappa chapter...

The non-Greek just has to learn that there will be committments that the Greek has to make.

This has been the major problems I have had when dating a non greek. You get questions like "why would u let people treat u that way?" " Isn't that buying your friends?" and many other lovely questions.

However, these questions have also been asked by many of my non greek friends...

all you need to realize is that this doesn't matter, nobody could understand all the wonderful things about being greek unless they acually were....lets just keep it our secret...hehe....just kidding http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif


Trust, respect and unity - Nu Sigma Chi

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you