New York does not equal the entire North.

My personal pet theory about this it that in big cities we come to treat other people as invisible because we'd be driven a little crazy by having to interact with everyone.

So I tend to think rural and suburban people are more casually affectionate and careful about being polite, and urban people have to be a little tougher and guarded.

New York is a great city, but you have to accept that what's normal for New York is unlikely to be normal anywhere else. That can be both good and bad.

Weirdly, I think Ms. Manners ruled that "what" is the correct response when you need something repeated because you didn't hear it. "Excuse me" didn't apply, if I remember correctly. I'd probably say, "will you repeat that; I didn't hear you." But as you can tell, I use a lot of words.

I wish I had room in the siggy for this little gem - LOVE IT!! :)


guilty :o

I can't help it - when I call someone "honey" it isn't meant to be the least bit condescending. Of course I live in the south where everyone practically is a "honey" "sweety" or "darlin" -- to me, when I have gotten good service at a restaurant, or good customer service at a store, I always say "thank you, honey" to the employee. To me, I'm saying "I really appreciate you taking care of me in your store/restaurant/whatever" -- and if people think I'm being rude, then they are reading too much into it.

Now there *ARE* people (and gee, you can find them right here on GC probably post stalking as we speak) who say "dear" and "honey" and "baby" in a very condescending tone. I am not one of those people :)

As to the issue of "what" to a parent - my son (4yo) has been taught when I call him to say "what mommy?" - of course it isn't rude when he says it. I taught him this when he was younger & liked to hide without telling mommy he was hiding. After I realized that he didn't know mommy was scared when he "disappeared" I taught him that whenever mommy calls him (or daddy, grandparents, etc.) to say "what mommy/daddy/whatever". Now if he's in trouble and I ask him a question, he knows that yes/no ma'am better come out of his mouth :D

Just because there are rude people everywhere doesn't mean there isn't a regional difference.

Though I'm a born and bred Southerner, my midwestern mom didn't have me call people ma'am and sir. She did teach me to be respectful, though without the extra verbiage. And important things like "do not walk and eat at the same time, it's rude."

Now that I'll be raising a child in New England, I find I'm already adding "Miss" to my friends' names. As in "Say hello to Miss Laurie!" Not that he can say much more than "Ah DAH!" and "Deesh" right now. I hope this won't make his friends think he's weird.

Several years ago when we were visiting my family, my dear Yankee husband said "I wish we could move South when we have kids. Everyone, even children, are so much more polite, and that's kinda nice."

Just Amazing isn't it about manners?;)

It makes no difference where people are from if they are civil to others!

"Hi I maybe visiting, but you people are Idiots!"

Interesting fact to be true!:eek:

Well, that explains your pretentious bullshit...

Thats seems like a bit of a . . . uhm . . . strong reaction to her post.

Well, James... Seeing as how you don't live in TN and have never met the snotty prisses that Harpeth Hall tends to turn out, I understand how you'd think this was a strong reaction.

Just wondering how you know that He does not live where you think He lives?

Are You physic?

Nothhng supprises Me anymore for from those in the know.:)

Re: This thread, beer etiquette thread, and Tom's random threads.

Thank you all for entertaining me today. :p

Some of you would have fun on etiquettehell.com's message board.

Its in my Location Tom . . .

I HATE being called "Honey" or "baby" or "Darlin". It's patronizing and I refuse to respond to it. We past the time when that was acceptable a long time ago. Strangers aren't anything to me, and I resent being called something like that by someone I have no connection to. Baby itself is demeaning...it implies to me that you think I'm a child. I don't allow my boyfriend to address me as baby, honey or darling...he knows I was given a perfectly good name. Honey is one of those things I find fake. "Oh honey, could you be a doll and do this for me?". Um, no. I'm NOT a doll, and you can handle it yourself, thank you very much. If it is a hospitality situation, something like, "Miss, I'm sorry, but I can't seem to find (x), could you help me?". Perfectly fine, no problem...but don't throw in all the fake sugar to get what you want. Ask me directly, it's part of my job, but it is not part of my job to be called ridiculous names. "miss" is fine, or even read the nametag and address me by my name.

I don't like ceremony for ceremony's sake or doing things because "that's how its always been done" or "because people expect it", and I think a lot of the social traditions and stuff are out of date. Also, manners for manners sake in order to present yourself as "upper____" is silly. If dog crap is covered with gold, it's still crap. Present yourself as _______ through your actions (not ceremonial manners) and through your words (being articulate and well read).

I also don't think that any one region has a monopoly on manners. I think that there are a very few basic manners that need to be observed. Here's my big ones:

1) Smile and at least nod when making eye contact on the street.
2) GIVE A FIRM HANDSHAKE. What I hate is a weak handshake. Women are the worst about this...the limp noodle handshake in church just doesn't say "peace be with you" to me. Firm handshakes please.
3) Please, thank you, when appropriate and even sometimes when not.
4) Hold doors for everyone...women for women, men for men, men for women, women for men. Holding doors, or at least not letting it slam on the person behind you is just plain nice.

That's about it.

Your siggy is dizzying. Can my quote be put on a wait list? ;)