As an alum advisor to a collegiate chapter and a serious Kappa for life, I can't agree at all with that statement. I still wear my letters on a regular basis and would be rather displeased if I saw anyone who wasn't a Kappa wearing them. They mean a lot to me, they connect me to Kappas everywhere and I've met some interesting and wonderful people because I wear my letters out in public. As for sisterhood and the bonds of friendship...where are they going to come from if there's no one there to support the Greek system? Kappa is very dependent on alumnae involvement, chapters with no advisors or nearby alums really suffer. What you do with your Greek experience is your choice after college, but personally I feel that my need to be involved in Kappa is greater as an alum than it was when I was in college. If Kappa is going to continue to be the organization that it is, undergraduates need the advice and support of those who have been there, done that, gotten the t-shirt, shrunk it in the wash, and used it to wash the car.

I didn't mean to say that I want people wearing my letters, and that I won't care if someone who isn't supposed to be wearing them does. However, I did put in as a side note, that I feel the Greek system is a great way to enhance the college experience. I love ALL my sisters (Really, ALL of them) and I'll be more than overjoyed to stay in touch with them after I graduate, and of course my very best friends in the house will always be a part of my life. However, I think it's silly to be VERY involved in the Greek system after one graduates. I feel like it's time to move on. There is no way I would ever want to be as involved in the system as I am now as an active member, when I graduate. It's like people who say, "HS was the best years of my life" and never get over it. Everything has its place and time. I will always be a proponent of the Greek system and Alpha Phi, ALWAYS. But that's only if someone asks me, or I feel like sharing. I think it looks pathetic for an adult to go around singing sorority songs and stuff after they have graduated. I'm all for alumnae (?) chapters, and meeting up with sisters in a certain region and staying in contact, and donating money to my fraternity, but I'm not going to be a thrity something going to rush school. Forget it. That's pathetic. It's like move on, college is just one stage of your life.

If it wasn't for those "thirty somethings going to rush school" how on earth do you think your sorority or any other one would expand and grow? Who do you think runs the national headquarters, makes national policy and helps to get younger women excited about Greek life?

I guess it's those "pathetic" adults that are so grateful for what they received in their sorority, that they want to give something back. If your sorority means that little to you, maybe you should just quit now and avoid the rush.

Attitudes like that are why a lot of people think we are just blowing smoke when we say our organizations are for life!

This is a very common misconception of life as an alumna member and advisor. Let me tell you, there is no way in he** I would ever want to go through college again. It was fun while it lasted, and advising at Chapter Council meetings makes me think "Oh yeah, that was a good time, but I'm glad I'm done with it and can now step back and offer advice without having to deal with the nitty-gritty details and the stress." During Recruitment, alums spend most of the time in the kitchen :) It's offering support and showing that Kappa is for life, without getting in the way of the chapter's individuality. At pref parties while I was an undergrad, we had a member in her seventies speak about her life experience as a Kappa, and it really made an impression on the PNM's (even those who didn't go Kappa). Advisors do not go to Recruitment school, except on the last day so the actives can practice their conversation skills. I feel that it's my way of giving back to Kappa, which was by far my most positive college experience. I just feel that without alum involvement a lot of Kappa chapters wouldn't be as strong as they are. Being an advisor is not reliving your college years, it's making someone else's years better and easier.

Sorry for getting so far off the topic, but I really feel strongly about this issue, and the number of chapters that lack alumnae guidance is a big part of the reason that Kappa is now provisionally taking alumna initiates. I don't have any money to give Kappa, I'm on a very tight budget and am paying for a wedding, and this is my way of giving back and keeping Kappa strong so that other women can have the same enjoyable experience that I did.

what can happen when you don't get back letters...
 

Back to the real subject at hand, I have a horror story!

There was a girl who pledged Sigma Kappa 2 or 3 years ago, and a couple days after bid day depledged. At our school we have Sigma Alpha, (a national ag sorority and member of our panhellenic, but not a member of npc) and she joined them during their recruitment that was a couple weeks after NPC. She just decided Sigma Alpha was more her style-no bigge, right?....

Fast forward to Greek Week this year, more specifically Greek Sing.

So the Sigma Alphas are on stage doing their song routine, and the lyrics towards everyone are a little meaner than in years past. We were thinking dang what's up with them, and also realized that they hadn't got to us yet. Then it happened. They started their little part about Sigma Kappa and that girl who pledged 2 or 3 years ago starts prancing around stage in our bid day shirt from when she pledged!!!!!!!! :mad: :eek: :mad: :eek: :mad: We were all so mad and shocked that we didn't even really hear what they were saying at the time (and I still don't remember, but I don't think it was good...) Needless to say we were all very pissed, especially since we were nice and had been helping them out with recrutiment workshops because they are going to take part in panhellenic recruitment for the first time this year!! And we weren't mean to them in our song (actually we only had a couple not nice lines in the whole routine, but they were to the fraternity we did homecoming with and were totally deserved)! We think classy is better than cheap, and it was totally cheap that they wore our letters on stage!!! :mad: So learn from our mistake of not taking back that girl's bid day shirt....you never know what people might do with them!!!!!

sidenote- Their little antics didn't help them out on winning. They probably got last place or close to it (it was low enough that they weren't mentioned when placings were announced). But we ended up getting second...goes to show that classy IS better than cheap!

I guess it's those "pathetic" adults that are so grateful for what they received in their sorority, that they want to give something back. If your sorority means that little to you, maybe you should just quit now and avoid the rush.

Maybe you didn't understand me the first time when I said how much I love my sorority and my sisters, especially my best friends. I never said it meant little to me, and if it did then I wouldn't be a part of it. You don't know me, so you don't know how I don't waste my time doing things that I think are stupid. I LOVE my chapter. I love what being a Phi has brought me...an internship, meeting my boyfriend, experiencing leadership, and more, BESIDES just the general aspect of sisterhood. But what I don't want to do is go around visiting chapters and woohooing about Alpha Phi when I'm a mother, married, having a full time job and etc. I respect those that run the organization at the top level. And there are jobs such as marketing, PR, com, and others that are of great value to the organization, but at the base level I am not going to be one of those people hung up on sorority life. I'm not saying that's what chapter advisers are ALL like (though I have met a few that are, and not from my chapter) and I'm not even aiming this AT chapter advisers but I'm saying what I feel. You don't have to like my opinion, but you're not going to keep me from having it. Additionally putting words in mouth saying "my sisterhood means nothing, that I should quit rush and etc" is really a rather false attempt at proving an indignant attitude on my part. Get some class...

34, grad student, and active sister
 

Sorry about getting back on to this subject in a thread about someone wearing your letters after disassociating but I feel the need to respond.

As one of what you would consider "pathetic" - thirty something, a graduate student and an active sister of Phi Sigma Sigma - I just have to respond. In fact as a 32 year old (34 now) graduate student I was a founding sister of my chapter. I didn't have the opportunity to join a sorority as an undergrad since the only ones at CSUDH were NPHC and Latina based. Within my group of founding sisters were more graduate students, a married sister, two single moms, other 30 somethings, a few late 20s and the traditional 18-20 year olds. We are all proud to say we are Phi Sigs and no one has ever made us fell pathetic to be signing sorority songs and stuff. We truly believe the adage "once a Phi Sig, always a Phi Sig." And even better we have made friends (sometimes new best friends) with people we may never have met because of limiting ourselves.

After reading some of the posts I am so glad that Phi Sigma Sigma was the NPC sorority that won the bid to colonize my school. They are truly inclusive in a way that it seems some other sororities may not or are not able to be. If it wasn't for them I may have missed out on the awesome experience of the Greek system. I will definitely be an active alumna when the time comes.

Now on to the thread subject. My chapter hasn't dealt with this issue but I am going to bring it up at our next meeting. We allow New Members to wear letters from the bid day. One of our bid day activities is to make letters. Looks like we'll have to come up with a contigency plan in case someone disassociates and still wears letters.

Carolyn

P.S. Hi to KappaStarGirl - when are the So Cal GCr's meeting at Downtown Disney again. Also, pm me your email address I have pictures back from Rainforest Cafe

OK, I think I see what APhiDarling is trying to say. What she means is, she doesn't necessarily want to be involved with her sorority to the extent she is now when she's out of school, but she will always consider herself a sister. (Is that anywhere near right, APhiDarling??) And I don't feel that there's anything wrong with that. I'm not saying I myself won't stay involved as an alum, but there are other things that I would like to move on to after I graduate and it depends on how everything fits in. No matter what, though, I will always be a DZ.

As a side note, though, I admire all those who remain active after college--we couldn't do it without you all!

That's fine, and I completely understand that. Not everyone has the time or inclination. It was her reference(s) to those who do stay very involved as "hung up on sorority life" and "pathetic" that pissed me off. National volunteers are not trying to relive their college days - believe me - the ones who only want to do that are usually the last ones to get involved since everything in the Greek world has changed so much.

oh and APhi, I said that you should "quit now and avoid the rush" not quit rush. :rolleyes:

OK, I think I see what APhiDarling is trying to say. What she means is, she doesn't necessarily want to be involved with her sorority to the extent she is now when she's out of school, but she will always consider herself a sister. (Is that anywhere near right, APhiDarling??) And I don't feel that there's anything wrong with that. I'm not saying I myself won't stay involved as an alum, but there are other things that I would like to move on to after I graduate and it depends on how everything fits in. No matter what, though, I will always be a DZ.

Yes, Thank You. That is Exactly what I am trying to say. I never specifically aimed my post at chapter advisers or those who run the organizations. My comment was a general reference to those who can't get over it, if any of you want to and reread it. Thanks achtungbaby80!