hmmm... greek or non-greek... thats a hard question to answer. i have been with my current (greek) boyfriend for 3 years. he is no longer in school, i am. i feel more comfortable with greek guys just because they are the ones i know best. i have also found that non-greeks can have a bad perception of greek life and are uncomfortable with the time commitment. on the other hand, dating a greek guy can be like dating their entire fraternity because they all seem to know EVERYTHING about the relationship!! just don't date a pledge because they will spend more time worrying about what the brothers think, then what you think!! good luck!

Hello all,
Personally, there hasn't been a difference for me. I have been fortunate that the non-greek men that I have dated understood that I'm a member of a Sorority. Specifically because, because I belong to the ONLY CONSTITUTIONALLY BOUND BROTHERHOOD & SISTERHOOD--ZETA PHI BETA & PHI BETA SIGMA.
So, of course, My frat is always number one in my heart. But, I have no preference as to whether or not the man that I'm with is affiliated or not, as long has he respects me.
SapphireSensation
Zeta Phi Beta Sigma--One Love...One Dove

Hey,
personally, I feel that there is no real difference between greeks and non-greeks. The difference on the guys depends on how greeks are viewed on campus. My campus views greeks as very popular. Therefore, the guys have the attitude as if they are just the best. It just depends on what you like in a person. The letters don't make the person, it's the person that makes the letters.

Well, let me see if I can sum all of this up quickly....

I think there are advantages and disadvantages to dating either. As far as dating a greek is concerned, the pros are that he might be responsible, mature, etc. On the flip side, he might have become conceited because of his 'elevated' status. A non-greek might be an escape from greekdom, but sometimes might come down very hard on greeks b/c he doesn't understand/like it.

When my boyfriend and I started out, he was greek, and I wasn't. He constantly told me how much he learned and grew as a result of joining his organization. Now that I have joined an illustrious organization myself, I am starting to see for myself what he meant. Additionally, he was encouraging and understanding when I was pledging. Above all, he was patient and knew how much time and effort goes into the whole thing. After all, he was there once. I don't know if a non-greek might have understood so well.

However, one issue I do have to deal with that I don't have to when I date non-greeks is groupies who sort of make greek guys into celebrities.

So, you see, they have their advantages and disadvantages.

Well, let me see if I can sum all of this up quickly....

I think there are advantages and disadvantages to dating either. As far as dating a greek is concerned, the pros are that he might be responsible, mature, etc. On the flip side, he might have become conceited because of his 'elevated' status. A non-greek might be an escape from greekdom, but sometimes might come down very hard on greeks b/c he doesn't understand/like it.

When my boyfriend and I started out, he was greek, and I wasn't. He constantly told me how much he learned and grew as a result of joining his organization. Now that I have joined an illustrious organization myself, I am starting to see for myself what he meant. Additionally, he was encouraging and understanding when I was pledging. Above all, he was patient and knew how much time and effort goes into the whole thing. After all, he was there once. I don't know if a non-greek might have understood so well.

However, one issue I do have to deal with that I don't have to when I date non-greeks is groupies who sort of make greek guys into celebrities.

So, you see, they have their advantages and disadvantages.

YES. And not to be trusted. Very romantic, but not realistic.

This has been an interesting topic and must confer that whether or not a man is greek doesn't change how they are. If they were an a**hole before they became greek then they will continue to be that a**hole after. It all depends on the individual. Change for the better or the worse. Who the hell knows!!!

Crimson Tail


[This message has been edited by CrimsonTail (edited July 15, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by CrimsonTail (edited July 15, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by CrimsonTail (edited July 15, 2000).]

I will say that it really doesn't matter either way. I agree with Crimson Tail...once an a**hole, always one.
I will say that there is an "understanding" among members of Greek organizations. If I have meetings, it is understood and vice versa. My boyfriend is in a BGLO, he also attended Morehouse College. In the South and East Coast EVERYBODY is in BGLOs. Point Blank.. He lives in Cali now and can't believe he meets people who never pledged and don't seem to be interested. At his high school, they had the fraternity like groups and sororities which "prepared" them for what it "may" be like in college when they pledge. It is sucha a part of life, to be with someone who is not "Greek" is like a mystery. That was one of the first questions he asked me when I met him. I don't think that had anything to do with his decision to date me (a wise one I might add http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif) but it is definitely a topic of discussion for him. Just as "Did you go to college" is for him. He doesn't understand how a college educated woman could date a man who has never been to college. I get on his a** all the time about it, but he is dead serious. There is like a lack of frame of reference if that is not ONE of the connections two people have with one another. Part of me agrees in a sense. I mean his frat brothers ask. "What Sorority are you in." When I sat DST, it's like "Okay, she's all good." Although I am not in his "sister" organization, it's like okay, there is still a "common" bond between us.

Okay, I'm done...I tend to ramble...sorry http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif

That's my $1913.00 worth, not just $19.13.

I'm am currently the President of my organization and I am dating the presdient of a fraternity. We were both Greek when we began dating, however not in the offices we currently hold. I have found that he is much more understanding than past guys I have dated in regards to my having to cancel plans etc due to a "crisis" in the chapter.

He is also much more grown-up and resposible than other guys I have dated (nongreeks). He has had to take responsibilites and he takes these seriously.

However the greek community is very similar to a small town. The gossip mill works overtime. Everyone will know the smallest details of your relationship. Everyone will also feel it is their right to know the inner workings of your relationship and if you are haiving relationship problems the entire greek system seems to know about it.

I think in the end it just depends on the person.

Well, I have been with my guy for 3.5 years and about a year after we were dating, he pledged A-Phi-A. To answer the question, greek or Non-Greek, men are men! My man is wonderful and remained that way after he crossed, but I agree with others, they do sometimes change. The time issue wasn't bad for us because I am involved in a non-NPHC organization and several clubs, so I could respect the time. I must say, being with a Greek is like having an "extended family", like some big brothers to look out for you. This may sound silly, but bonds that are shared between other girlfriends of his brothers are precious and I would not trade it for the world. Matter-of-fact, most of my closet friends are dating Alphas and we entertained one another when our Alpha men are out handling business.

I personally think that when your in college, dating a greek has its pros and cons. And everyone has made some valid points. I have dated the spectrum of Fraternities, however, in college I was partial to the Sigmas. When you approach it in a realistic positive manner, dating Greeks have their advantages.(And this is from my "back in the day" college view point) You get invited to VIP parties, picnics, house parties. Their LB's look out for you (when you need a ride, etc, etc). Everyone knows that on most HBCU's campus, frats are just as popular as the football/basketball teams. If not, more.I guess the cons would be all the girls who are sweatin' the letters or basically tryin to see how far they can get with your man.
However, once your in the real world all that crap goes out the window! It's not about you being on his arm at the party anymore, or going to private parties or getting in joints for free or secretly wearing his T-shirt behind closed doors..(Ya'll feel me.)It's about the MAN. Letters or no letters.There are some really nice guys out there.But we have all been through it when some guys go over and their heads blow up. Women come out the woodworks. All of a sudden those 3 letters and that call erased that yuck mouth smile,that warped shaped head, dirty fingernails, even that raggedy ass ride. LOL.I am funny to me.Anyway, I can see it being harder in college to deal with a greek than in post grad life. And most of the time, once they graduate they calm down drastically. Who gives a damn about letters in real life when your not being responsible and considerate??!! Or take a sister to a real restaurant instead of Chinese buffet. Much love to Phi Beta Sigma.

I personally think that when your in college, dating a greek has its pros and cons. And everyone has made some valid points. I have dated the spectrum of Fraternities, however, in college I was partial to the Sigmas. When you approach it in a realistic positive manner, dating Greeks have their advantages.(And this is from my "back in the day" college view point) You get invited to VIP parties, picnics, house parties. Their LB's look out for you (when you need a ride, etc, etc). Everyone knows that on most HBCU's campus, frats are just as popular as the football/basketball teams. If not, more.I guess the cons would be all the girls who are sweatin' the letters or basically tryin to see how far they can get with your man.
However, once your in the real world all that crap goes out the window! It's not about you being on his arm at the party anymore, or going to private parties or getting in joints for free or secretly wearing his T-shirt behind closed doors..(Ya'll feel me.)It's about the MAN. Letters or no letters.There are some really nice guys out there.But we have all been through it when some guys go over and their heads blow up. Women come out the woodworks. All of a sudden those 3 letters and that call erased that yuck mouth smile,that warped shaped head, dirty fingernails, even that raggedy ass ride. LOL.I am funny to me.Anyway, I can see it being harder in college to deal with a greek than in post grad life. And most of the time, once they graduate they calm down drastically. Who gives a damn about letters in real life when your not being responsible and considerate??!! Or take a sister to a real restaurant instead of Chinese buffet. Much love to Phi Beta Sigma.

Greek or non-Greek? Hmmn. At my school, it's so hard to find a non-greek who won't be an ass because of your letters(we have a very small greek population and a large anti-greek one) but its just as hard, if not more difficult to find a fraternity guy who is worthy of dating. My last boyfriend and I had an understanding: our houses were important to both of us, and we both knew that there might be times where we'd have to put them before each other. The difference between his house and mine is that mine never made me choose between him and them. His did. Needless to say, he's still in that house, and we're not together.
As for dating non-greek men, I'd love to. If I could find a guy that could understand and respect my love for my sorority and the responsibilites which that holds, great! It would be nice, actually to have friends that were just mine. I know that sounds greedy, but our greek system is so small everyone knows everyone. It would be nice to keep my relationship out of everyone's business. However, on their defense, fraternity boys, in general, are more gentlemanly(opening doors, being polite, etc.) And I have lots of good friends who are in fraternities, and they're great guys. However, a lot of them are just little boys who want nothing more than one-night stands. t

If a Greek can say that it doesn't matter whether he/she dates a Greek or Non Greek, then why do they discrimminate against certain Greek organizations. A person may not like another person based soley on the organization he/she is a part of. That is dumb and immature, because after college (during for some) life begins and it doesn't matter which organization you are in. People don't even know whether you are or aren't because you are either dressed for corporate or in uniform working for your profession and actually people who work around you are more than likely not a part of any Greek organization and could care less!