Granted but it gives you ery prolonged and nasty case of diarrhea and gas


I wish Sanaa lathon was my wife.

Granted, but she gained 200 lbs.

I wish I had a man-servant to massage my feet and wash my hair every night.

Granted, but he hasn't used mouthwash or deoderant for the last 10 years.


I wish my legs were as dark as my arms.

Granted, now both your legs and arms are Blueberry colored.

I wish I had one more week off until Fall started. :(

You get your extra week, but a heatwave hits and it's so hot or you'll develop blisters on your skin.

I wish I didn't have to go to a funeral visitation tonight. :(

Granted...you don't have to go, but you get stuck in a pile up behind a stalled car on the interstate for 5 hours on the way to the movies and have a worse night than if you had just gone to the funeral.

I wish I wasn't hung over and at work!

granted, you're so drunk you puke on your desk.

I wish local commercials didn't make me want to die

Granted... instead of making you WANT to die...they just make you die. RIP:p

I wish I had a monkey.

Granted, but he's obnoxious and ruins your house because he's not potty-trained.

I wish weekends happened more often.

Granted - now it can be a "weekend" every day of the week...you're fired!


I wish it was time to go home.

granted but your house burned down so now you have to stay in a shabby motel with no phone/ tv/ or internet accesss for the next 2 weeks.

I wish guys weren't jerks

Granted, but now they're all girls so we all have to be lesbians.

I wish my nose wasn't itching.

Granted but now it's running uncontrollably.

I wish I didn't have to do work today.

granted but ur stuck in bed all day with a stomach virus

I wish I had a maid

Granted...your house is sparkling clean, mainly because she took all your stuff!

I wish I could lose 10 pounds by Monday!