Dear Tony-
I will try this. I need to go and purchase a hair net like Alicia wears in the video ;) I think I will slip and fall on Sunday nite too!!


Love,
LNF

Dear Woman on the other side of the wall from me:

Okay, yes someone took your chair. Yes. I know. I have heard you tell the story to at least 6 people, including your manager, in the past 20 minutes. Now, did you buy this chair? Nope. It was provided for you. The new chair does not feel the same? Okay.

But you will not keep talking about this chair for the next 8 hours. Build a bridge or in your case a new chair and get over it.

I know I did not just hear you ask if you could lock the new chair up every night!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

The things folks get worked up about. I bet your manager wishes you were this passionate about your job! :o :eek: :p

Dear Potential FAMU Homecoming Attendees,

If you did not step foot inside anybody's (let alone FAMU's) college classroom, please stay home this year. Do not come to Tallahassee being thugged-out, ghettofied, therefore casting a bad light on my Alma Mater. Do not go to Governor's Square mall on Saturday throwing out money, causing riots because you are a miami-drug dealer looking for attention. Do not go to FAMU parties starting fights and shoot-outs because somebody stepped on your Air Force Ones. Do not loot the stores in the mall, causing them to have every available police officer in the city walking the mall to keep your uncouth behind from showing out. Do not cause the Tallahassee Democrat newspaper to run a front page article about how FAMU's homecoming is such a distateful event because people don't know how to act.
You see, FAMU homecoming attendees, eventhough you never even attended school at FAMU or anywhere else for that matter, the media makes it seem that your behavior is indicative of FAMU alumns. It makes US look bad. So if you have thug or ghetto tendencies, do us true, upstanding, law-abiding, just-want-to-have-a-safe-nice-time, alumns a favor, STAY YOUR ARSES HOME.

Sincerely,
A Pretty SKEEphistAKAted Rattler

Dear Call Center Representatives at my company:

All a y'all need to drank some ack rite. I'm tired of firing folks and then people want to get new. If you are excessively and repeatedly late you will be terminated. How hard is that to understand? I know you could be slack before, but it ain't that way any more. It's a dog-on shame that the new attendance policy has only been in affect for less than 3 months and 3 people have already been terminated with about 7 others hanging by a thread. Trust, there are other people who want the job that you seem not to want. Oh....and not clocking in does not make you on time. We can see what time you log on to your computer too ya know.

Dear Allen Iverson:

You are a 30 year old father of four, a married man. Please put on a suit and stop complaining.

But please don't dress like this:

http://sportsmed.starwave.com/media/..._shaqhat_i.jpg

Dear Imposter:
I know that our beloved Steeltrap did not write the above post because she would nevah, evah, evah criticize Shaq Daddy. What did you do with her and please bring her back IMMEDIATELY!! Thank you.

Signed,
Eclipse :cool: :D :p

^^
Dear Eclipse:

It is me, ST. And the only thing I criticize my beloved Daddy for are his horrific wardrobe choices at times.

Dear young men in the Chicagoland area:

Please do not try to talk to me if it is dark outside and I am walking alone. Plus, if it's dark outside how can you possibly see what I look like from across the street? For real? If I am walking fast it it probably for a reason:

1. It's COOOOOLD outside
2. I don't know your a$$
3. I'm tired and trying to get home
4. I already have a bf
5. You say "eh, eh girl, psssssssstttt, (loudly) 'SCUSE ME!!!
6. When I ignore you you say it again...

Everyone woman is not going to want to talk to you, especially if you are trying to creep up on them from behind in the dark :rolleyes: No, I'm not stuck up, nothing is wrong with me, I don't think I'm better than you. Stop telling me what I'm missing and calling me out of my name. Stop grabbing my hand or arm and then getting mad at me b/c I pull away and give you the mean mug. Stop PULLING MY HAIR asking me if it's real!! That's just f*ck*n disrespectful. :( I don't understand how it all came to this. People keep telling me I'm gonna get beat up one day by a guy but I REFUSE to let a man disrespect me in that manner. I'm not the one.

Signed,
MsMeaness :cool:

Dear God,

I need this.

Love,

soulfulremix

Dear Jealousy,

Please get away from me. Just because all my friends are getting what I want, I'm not going to be hateful. This was supposed to be something we did together, and it hurts enough being the only one left without you up in the mix. Sure, I'm disappointed, but God is just saying that it's not my time yet. So back up off me, because my friends need me to cheer them on and you're in my yelling space!

To my job: I want to celebrate another year on earth tonight since my acutual birthday is on Sunday. Even tonight or tomorrow...DO NOT MESS UP MY BIRTHDAY!!!!:mad: :mad: You have messed up my life for the last nine months and trust me, if I get a job anytime soon, you will not be messing it up anymore. You better be lucky if I pick up the phone if you decide to call.

To the guy I met at the party in August: I'm glad that you got back together with your girlfriend but it kind of sucks for me. Maybe it worked out for the best because I wouldn't have to deal with a long-distance relationship.

To Him: Thank you for bringing me into another year. As I turn 26 tomorrow, I reflect back on this year and it was one of the most diffcult that I've had so far. I would have not gotten through it without you. As you may know, I have been very sad lately about the job thing. I know you do not make mistakes, so I am hoping this is just a trial to make me stronger and that my blessing is coming soon. Please guide my steps into finding a job that I can make into a carrer and it will be something that I love. Please keep my family, friends and I in good health and continue to bless us. Again, thanks for all your blessings. Amen.

Signed,
JB13

Dear AL:
WTH were you thinking calling me at dayum near midnight asking what I was doing? You must've fallen and bumped your nogging, Mayne. Thank God I have caller I'D and didn't pick up the phone. You have some real dayum nerve. Seriously dude, you can't be that P.R.E.S.S.E.D. :mad: :mad: :mad:

To the GDI Lawyer and Dr. at the Kappa tournament,

It's a FRATERNITY event. There are men there who are members of the FRATERNITY. As a matter of fact, the men who invited your dumb arses are KAPPAS, not "I felt a thigh". :rolleyes:

To pops: I'm sick of you witholding my ALLOWANCE. I ain't that bad of a daughter. I have places to go, people to see, and things to do. I can't do that mess if I'm a broke a$$ nikka. Yeah pops, I trying to get a job, but who is going to take me? You know that I have to mark on my apps that I was fired. What I did to get fired on my last job ain't nothin. But, you know that the white man considers borrowing money from the cash register as stealing.