Our chapter went from 13 to 50 in 2 years. A lot of the older sisters had a real problem adjusting to it.

If 100 member chapters are the norm at your school, then be happy - you guys are finally on keel w/ everyone else. Are you going to know every single sister inside out like you used to? No. That doesn't mean that the "new" people aren't as good as the "old" people. Try getting to know them, you might be surprised.

As far as mixers are concerned - why aren't there any upperclassmen there? If fraternities are consistently letting their juniors and seniors blow off mixers, I would say that's very disrespectful and ask them why it's occurring.

"I mean, no there are events every week.. usually mixers with a fraternity. And I loved them freshman and sophomore year, but I've gotten bored with them. And we also have sisterhood events every week or every other week but I don't usually have time for them. I usually go to chapter every Sunday. We have a crush party coming up next weekend and I will probably go to that! "


OK, here is your problem in a nut shell. You go to parties and meetings. No wonder all you feel like it is about is parties. And let's face it, most meetings are not exactly the funnest of events.

I highly encourage you to go to other events. In fact, you'll probably enjoy the parties more if you do. Sisterhood is not about what just happens at parties. It is much, much more-but you can't find that out if you are not attending events. Unless you are in class, study on Friday and Saturday and attend the sisterhood events if you have to choose. The old saying "You get out of it what you put into it" is REALLY true.

Forgive me as this will probably come across as harsh, but frankly I'm a little tired of hearing similar complaints. You are bored and too busy to do the same old things. You've got enough friends now and don't need any more. You want to quit and are wondering if there's anyway to do so without losing your alum status.

My question is what have you done to make things more fun and worthwhile? Ask not what your sisters can do for you, but what can you do for your sisters? You made a lifelong commitment when you joined your sorority. Now is the time to ask yourself a hard question. Are you the sort of person who lives up to her commitments or walks away if it isn't easy or fun all the time without making any effort to change things? Whatever you decide make sure you can live with it for the rest of your life.

To answer your question, like others have said it depends on your GLO's policy as well as any additional policies your chapter may have. For my chapter we only grant inactivity for unforeseen financial difficulties or medical reasons.

Stop being a letter girl. If you're in a sorority because you like the way greek letters look on a sweatshirt, then do your chapter a favor and deactivate.

What helped me feel more connected to my chapter was getting involved. I decided to attend all events, took a position, and forced myself to do things because I thought it might help me. And it really did. While I never had the same connection to the other sisters that they seemed to have for each other, I still became much closer to the other sisters. I also developed a wonderful connection to my organization as a whole. I really feel like it was worth sticking through it. I love being an alum and am very active now and have made a ton of close friendships with sisters not from my chapter.

I didn't say you needed those events to maintain your friendships. What I said was to encourage them to go to more events since you cited them not going as a reason that you didn't go to more events IN THIS POST

Other people have come on here and tried to be supportive saying "get to meet the new member class" or "get involved" but you've said you don't care to meet anyone else...and you don't "have time" for anything.

So quit.

Seriously.

Members who only want the letter sweatshirts and the pin in their jewelry box are deadweight on chapters if they aren't going to contribute anything.

I beleive you said it all.

One only gets out of what they put into any group whether now or after graduation.

One may be board or does not get along with certain members but there is the real world out there that will be the same way.

For the original poster, You and only You can make the decission.

Be a bigger part of something or not. Graduation is a major part of life, would you like to have Sisters from all over that you could talk with or a friend or two or none?

It sounds like you may be lonely, and forgive me for saying this, maybe a bit depressed. If your best friends are abroad, have money angst, etc that is enough to be a bit depressed I'd say.

As a old broad here is my perspective. It sounds like you are an upperclassman. I say stick it out. If nothing else for the time you may want to fall back on it. You never know if you move, change cities, etc you have an automatic link to women who have something in common with you.

As for the money, in the scheme of things, it's not *that* money, especially if you're graduating soon.

Yes, becoming more involved too is great.

But I'll tell you, when I was a senior, I was burnt out. I didn't know any of the pledges, etc. I wasn't a letter wearer only, I was just done. Kinda like living at the beach for the summer. I loved it until the day before I left and then I wanted to get the heck home!

If you aren't an involved alumnae that's ok too. But you don't have that option if you quit.

Don't let your angst/mood/friends being away make you end/sever/permentantely end something that perhaps would do you some good in the future.

You will be out of college way more years than you are in so who knows having your sorority to fall back on may be a great thing.

Don't quit is my two cents.

It sounds like you have already made up your mind, and are looking for validation that it's the right decision. I am not trying to be harsh.

I am not sure of your org's rules, but if they say that you cannot take early alumnae status, then perhaps you should leave. From what I can see, you are not showing any allegiance to your sisterhood, nor any friendship to the individual sisters outside your little circle.

Let me tell you that if you do deactivate, you will likely not be traveling in the same daily/weekly paths that your sisters will. It will be very difficult to keep the intensity of your friendships with a group of sisters, once you are out of the loop.

I am going to disagree with many here and not encourage you to stay, if what you enjoy most are the external ornaments of membership. Open up the space for a girl who really wants the whole shebang.

It's no fun - for you or anyone else - having someone play if they aren't a willing participant. Time to make a grown up decision, and be able to live with it.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

Thank you everyone for your responses (even the harsh ones :)..I need to hear it ). All the comments have given me something to think about. Not sure what I will do yet but I think I will try in the next few weeks to be more active and reach out to sisters im not as close to, and see if that changes my perspective. Feeling this way is a relatively new thing since the end of last semester.. for the last 1.5 years I lived and breathed and loved my sorority and some of the replies made me feel bad about leaving it. I'm not just a letterwearer, or at least I didnt used to be. I'll just need to figure out for myself if being active in my sor is right for me right now.

Thanks all <3.

I also think this is a difficult time of year while in college. You've been going full force since September. The end of the semester is near but it seems so far away yet. And all those papers and tests between now and the end of the year! It can be overwhelming. I'm not sure what part of the country you're in, but if you're anywhere north, the rough weather is affecting people's moods too. You might as well stick it out this semester and see how you feel in the fall after you've been rejuvenated. It almost sounds like senioritis, early.

It's also a difficult transition when you don't live in the house and you don't feel connected to the sisters who live in the house. When you make the choice to affiliate with a sorority, you really are making a lifetime commitment to your sisterhood. I agree with the post that suggested you get more involved with the philanthropic endeavours of your chapter and international organization. Becoming disinterested in the "party" atmosphere happens a lot of juniors and seniors and you need to shift your focus in the sorority to other activities to keep building on the foundation you started in your first couple of semesters as an active.

Part of what you are experiencing is a natural pulling away and changing--after all, if you are maturing, you should have different priorities and interests as a 21 year old, than you did as an 18 year old.

As a junior and especially as a senior, my interests were not primarily fraternity mixers, pomping homecoming floats and rush skits--although I had truly loved all of those activities. By second semester of Jr. year, I was more focused on my major, campus activities and grad school applications. I began to spend more time with professors and students in my major, and a bit less time with my sorority sisters. My best friends from the chapter were married, student teaching, or had already graduated, and I didn't know many of the newer members well.

However, my last two years of sorority life were two of my most rewarding, and I would have missed a big chunk of what it meant to be in a sorority if I had ended it there.

Just as I looked up to the older girls in the house as a pledge and new initiate, I was shocked to realize that some of the new members were looking up to me. I began to spend time with a handful of them, serving as an informal "big sis" (you can never have too many!). They would drag me to a party when they thought I was becoming too serious, and I nagged them about making grades. Their excitement about initiation, fraternity guys, and "greek stuff" was contagious and fun. I ended up rooming with three of them when they moved into the house their sophomore year and my senior year, because it was more fun to be with them than on the quieter Senior Wing.

After college, I was not involved as an alum until about 30 years later, but now serve as a chapter advisor. I would NEVER have predicted that, but you never know what life is going to bring you.

If you are truly not interested, then turn in your pin.

But if you are feeling lonely and like a "stranger in a strange land" because your friends are gone and you are growing in different ways, then know that it is a natural feeling that you can help heal by adopting some new members and letting new people into your life, even if you think you already have enough friends. The new members need older members to support them, and you need them to remind you of why you joined in the first place.

Good luck with the rest of the semester!

I just wanted to say how much I agree with this post. I graduated from college a few years ago and have many friends who are married and or have kids. I kind of get tired of hearing them talk about things I have no idea how to relate to. i love my friends, but get sooooo tired of talking about these things. This is, in part, why I volunteer with the teens at the Library. it is really great to have a group of 16-19 year old (close to adults than kids) that I can go and hang out with and goof off and not talk about margaged and having problems with kids and kids teachers, ect. It reminds me of how much fun the little things in life are and at the same time i really enjoy talking to them about college and school ect.

Also, I would have to agree that it might sound like the OP is a little depressed. This can easily happen and maybe it might help to do something new. I can get depressed eaily if I am constantly doing the same routine day after day.

Good luck

I am guessing that you'll have to pay for full dues for the semester regardless of whether you withdraw tomorrow or withdraw and the end of the semester. I don't know when your chapter's "deadline" for withdrawl is, but financially, it's all the same. If you don't even want to try (which sounds possible), that's one thing, but since you'll have to pay this semester's dues anyway, if you feel up to trying, put more effort to get involved and close to sisters. If you still feel this way at the end of the semester, then you should probably withdraw.