Granted, but you have a rare condition called gigantism which causes you to grow uncontrollably and within the year you will be close to 9 feet tall.

I wish I lived in a different apartment....

*POOF!* but it's a the smallest apartment you've ever lived in, which makes it hard to escape the giant rat. and when he drinks, he hits you.

i wish i had gladiator mice.

Granted, but the gladiator mice unite against you, and decide to hold you hostage in your home, their "Rome."

I wish I had a purple unicorn. :)

Granted but the unicorn likes to use his horn to wake you up every morning by gouging you in the eyes with it.


I wish my cats would clean their own litter box.

Fine, but they think your bed, and not the trash can, is the best place to leave all the clumps.

I wish gas prices would go down.

Granted, but they misconstrue the meaning of clean, and decide to dump the litter into your closet, ruining all of your favorite outfits.

I wish I had a gigantic house!

PS I'd like my cats to clean their own litter box, too.

granted but you would live there all alone with 20 cats and maid service will not come to your house.


I wish I didn't have to work today

Ok. You're fired. You don't have to work tomorrow, either.

I'll say it again. I wish gas prices would go down. :D

TA DA! your car breaks down!

i wish i could speak and read Russian, fluently.

You can speak and read Russian fluently; unfortunately, it's now the only language you know, making it impossible for anyone here in the US to understand you.

I wish for a puppy!

your puppy has worms, chews up your shoes, craps all over the floors, and gives you fleas......twice

I wish I invented the internet

Granted but you are now under investigation by the Dept. of Justice for fraud and tax evasion.


I wish I had an unlimited AMEX card payed for by someone else.

o dayum that was evil......


granted...but u find out your benefactor is 89 years old and wants you to be in a sex video with him to be posted on the internet.


I wish for world peace.

You obtain world peace, but with that comes a ban on sexual intercourse or any food; thus, the whole world dies of two forms of starvation.

I wish for a world party with everyone invited!

big party, and everybody brought their cups, but nobody pitched in.

i wish i could fly.