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-   -   What's happening to boys? Young men living at home. (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=77137)

Dionysus 04-05-2006 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
I don't give a rat's ass whether people live at home with their parents. How is it any of my business?
I would say co-sign, but I don't want anyone to get mad at me.

Yeah, I think it's weird to be a grown ass man (or woman) and not wanting to have any financial independence, but some of the guys mentioned in the article did have jobs and paid bills...I guess they were saving up for bigger and better things.

As for the bartender in the article, I fully agree with him. Being married, having kids, getting the corner office, and owning a house with a white picket fence doesn't complete everyone. While those things may provide you stability, it probably will compromise your freedom and fun. It should be up to the individual to choose which one is more important.

Personally, I wouldn't want a guy who has no money. But if he does, I would not care if he lived with his folks or bartended for a living. Now hopefully he has goals to move out and start his own business, eventually.

Munchkin03 04-05-2006 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
I don't give a rat's ass whether people live at home with their parents. How is it any of my business?
If I was involved with someone who was living at home, I would be concerned about the reasons why and how that might impact our having an adult relationship. As for Joe Blow down the block, I don't care.

James 04-07-2006 01:02 AM

I don't see much of a difference between living at home and living with roomates. Each situation is about financial dependancy and in neither situation can you claim to be fully indepenant.

So if you have cool parents why not live at home rather than with roomates?

And don't come after me, my parents died when i was young so this wasn't/isn't an option.

James 04-07-2006 01:04 AM

Also, by the same token, wouldn't it be pathetic to receive financial help from your parents?

ETA: Like you are living on your own but your parents chip on for your car, car insurance or housing.

Financial independance is relative.

AGDee 04-07-2006 05:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
I don't give a rat's ass whether people live at home with their parents. How is it any of my business?
I think it's an interesting sociological phenomenon rather than caring about a specific individual who is living at home with their parents. It's a general trend of avoiding adult responsibility which may have an effect on our society as a whole down the road. I'm curious too about the effects it could have on the economy (housing markets, car sales, other sales) if the trend were to continue and even grow. Also, if young people don't enter the workforce until later, how does that end up effecting their retirement savings/options in 30, 40, 50 years?

James: There is a different level of responsibility if you're living with roommates than there is when you're living at home. With roommates, you still have bills to deal with, household work to do, and far more responsibility than some of these "kids" they are talking about in the article who live at home, won't look for a career type job and do nothing but play video games. It's like a Peter Pan syndrome (I'll never grow up). Much of seems to be really permissive parents (big surprise) and a total lack of a work ethic.

At what age do people think it becomes "weird"? I can say that my ex-husband was sort of one of those guys. He stayed at home and went to a commuter university. After he got his first job as an accountant, he stayed home. He was working and going to grad school and not having to pay hardly any bills or do any housework. It ended being a total nightmare for me because, when we got married, he had to learn how to budget, how to cook, how to clean, do laundry, etc. He was totally clueless about all of it and he was 30 years old. It is probably 40% of the reason that we ended up divorced. At least he was working in his career and working on his MBA. He'll probably be a much better husband if/when he remarries, because he's so much more independent now than he was when we marrried.

Taualumna 04-07-2006 10:03 AM

I'd say that it's weird when one reaches their 30s. Also, many of these guys (and gals) have been away at school, and probably didn't live in dorms their entire four years. They've probably experienced having responsibility.

Coramoor 04-07-2006 10:12 AM

A specific age...After 25.

Taualumna 04-07-2006 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Coramoor
A specific age...After 25.
What if they're still in school at 25 (e.g. med school, law school)?

amanda6035 04-07-2006 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Taualumna
What if they're still in school at 25 (e.g. med school, law school)?
You know, I'm 25, and this time last year, I moved out on my own - no roomates. And sometimes - it sucks to make ends meet. Sometimes (not often) I DO wish I were back home with mom and dad. But the way I look at it is now is mom and dads time to do their own thing and not have to worry about the kids being around all the time. My folks help me in those rare extreme circumstances, and I'm willing to bet that they would rather help me out once in a blue moon than for me to give up and say "the hell with responsibility, mom and dad, I'm moving back in."

Munchkin03 04-07-2006 11:17 AM

Anyone over 35 who has roommates at a place they do not own is not long-term relationship material. There comes a time where one has to grow a pair and grow the %$@# up.

Private I 04-07-2006 12:54 PM

I have to admit when I moved to the States I was surprised to see all these young people moving out of their parents houses and living on their own (my folks, sister and I lived with my grandparents in our apartment till I was around 5 or so). What it boiled down to was I couldn't understand how people had the money to afford living on their own. Then I realized that most still got helped out by their parents, even if they were 25 and up living by themselves.

AOII_LB93 04-08-2006 10:16 AM

Someone I know was still living at home well after college when I met him(he was 28) and never experienced living out as he commuted to college. He's now 35 and still living at home. Granted he has a job, but he didn't contribute to the household at all until his dad had a stroke about 3 years ago. Didn't even know how to cook or do anything other than prepare Kool-aid.

Seems sad to me, and not sad boo-hoo...sad pathetic.

AchtungBaby80 04-08-2006 11:29 AM

I've got one for ya--my dad lived with his parents until he and my mom married (he was around 25, I think) but insisted that they live next door. He spent all his free time at his parents' house, not his own house. After he and my mom divorced, he moved back in with his parents and stayed there until they passed away. I was in high school then. :o Now he's built himself a house and is independent, thank goodness, but wow...it only took him until he was almost 50!

I lived with my parents for about a year after I graduated from undergrad because of unfortunate circumstances (e.g. health problems), but it wasn't ideal. Now that I've been living on my own for a couple years, I can't imagine going back. My friends in the U.K., on the other hand, live/lived with their folks for a long, long time after college. It's normal, from what I gather. The kids have jobs and contribute to the bills and stuff, and they pretty much come and go as they please.

kddani 04-08-2006 12:18 PM

I know a couple that got married last year, I think they were probably around 27. Both had college degrees, the husband had a law degree was was making good money at a fairly sizeable firm here in Pittsburgh. Neither of them had ever lived anywhere on their own. They lived at home until the day they got married (they bought a house), and their parents did EVERYTHING for them and paid for everything. They got married a little less than a year ago, and they've had a lot of problems, because neither of them knows how to do anything on their own.

It's one thing if you (or a family member) has health problems or there is some sort of special circumstance. But when everyone is healthy, ablebodied and not in financial ruin.... GET A LIFE!

XOMichelle 04-08-2006 07:12 PM

Oh... this is so relative.

I mean, in many places it's common to live with you parents (or one parent) until they die right? So really it depends on cultural practices and finances. I have to say, since I'm in school I would consider living with my parents if either lived close to me. Saving $700 a month? Crazy good.


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