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-   -   is there any hope? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=76336)

SockPuppet3 03-07-2006 02:26 PM

I can see why people think I'm being petty and superficial. Maybe I am to an extent. But, like it or not, image is not just something that can be ignored.

I've tried to start an aerobics class, but after a month of meeting 3 times a week, there have been only 3 girls come. And, those 3 were ones who don't need to shed weight. The rest of the sisters were busy watching TV and passing a bowl of cheetos.

I invited a MK representative to a retreat once... most of the girls were just turned off by the sales tactics. They almost seemed to resent the fact that she asked if anyone wanted to purchase anything.

It just seems unfair that those of us who would like to participate in things greek life generally offers can't. I don't want to disaffiliate because I know, in the grand scheme of things, the collegiate aspect of sorority life is much shorter than alum.

DSTCHAOS 03-07-2006 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SockPuppet3
I can see why people think I'm being petty and superficial. Maybe I am to an extent. But, like it or not, image is not just something that can be ignored.

I've tried to start an aerobics class, but after a month of meeting 3 times a week, there have been only 3 girls come. And, those 3 were ones who don't need to shed weight. The rest of the sisters were busy watching TV and passing a bowl of cheetos.

I invited a MK representative to a retreat once... most of the girls were just turned off by the sales tactics. They almost seemed to resent the fact that she asked if anyone wanted to purchase anything.

It just seems unfair that those of us who would like to participate in things greek life generally offers can't. I don't want to disaffiliate because I know, in the grand scheme of things, the collegiate aspect of sorority life is much shorter than alum.

Were the members you're talking about part of your "new member class?"

I am trying to understand how you were unaware of the image that the sorority had on the campus. Had you never met any of the current members before accepting the bid? Or did they gain weight and stop wearing makeup right after you accepted the bid? Conspiracy.

CarolinaCutie 03-07-2006 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DSTCHAOS
Let's be honest and admit that there are campuses and chapters that are completely obsessed with looks. They judge the top organizations by who the beautiful and popular kids are, as well as how social these people are. Kind of like high school cliques.

I know georgeous and handsome chapters who just so happen to be that way. The members are campus and community leaders whose beautiful looks come second. But, when threads like THIS one come up, it highlights how much some people allow looks to supercede more important factors.

Point taken. I have not personally encountered a campus/chapter where this obsession with looks has occurred. In my experience, chapters that are popular with rushees and men also have the grades, community involvement, and campus recognition to back it up. I just think that the UNPOPULAR chapters tend to adopt a "woe is me" attitude, calling chapters with good-looking women "Barbie doll" chapters, assuming that they don't share the same level of sisterhood, or accusing them of recruiting only for looks. When I encounter that chapter that puts a priority on looks above all other membership criteria, then I will agree that is sad and completely counter to the ideals of our organizations. So I suppose I can only imagine a campus culture like the one you mention, since I've yet to experience it.

SockPuppet3 03-07-2006 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DSTCHAOS
Had you never met any of the current members before accepting the bid? Or did they gain weight and stop wearing makeup right after you accepted the bid?
I went through recruitment as a freshman. I had met the girls only through recruitment.

They fixed their hair and wore make-up during recruitment. Once recruitment ended, so did the grooming.

I wasn't so shallow as to let that stop me from initiating. I love my sorority, what it represents, etc. I also love the women in it. But, and trust me, I know how bad it sounds, we would be a much stronger chapter if people took better care of themselves.

I realize that there are problems in the "barbie doll" sororities. I also realize that there are great things those groups do besides looking good. My point behind bringing them up was simply to indicate that there is enough interest in greek life at my school to turn out sororities who meet quota. I never once made reference to any groups appearance other than my own.

I'm not trying to stir up the pot. I'm really just trying to get ideas for improving my chapter.

DSTCHAOS 03-07-2006 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CarolinaCutie
Point taken. I have not personally encountered a campus/chapter where this obsession with looks has occurred. In my experience, chapters that are popular with rushees and men also have the grades, community involvement, and campus recognition to back it up. I just think that the UNPOPULAR chapters tend to adopt a "woe is me" attitude, calling chapters with good-looking women "Barbie doll" chapters, assuming that they don't share the same level of sisterhood, or accusing them of recruiting only for looks. When I encounter that chapter that puts a priority on looks above all other membership criteria, then I will agree that is sad and completely counter to the ideals of our organizations. So I suppose I can only imagine a campus culture like the one you mention, since I've yet to experience it.
I agree with you. I have experience with more than one college campus so I can relate to both perspectives.

DSTCHAOS 03-07-2006 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SockPuppet3
I never once made reference to any groups appearance other than my own.
You implied it.

33girl 03-07-2006 03:13 PM

The other girls are happy with the way they are. Unfortunately, they probably had a national officer or advisor telling them to be fake and put on a show during rush, and as a result, took women like yourself who thought they were something they weren't.

If you can somehow go early alum or take an inactive status, I would advise it. This isn't the chapter for you.

And, I hope that the girls can stand up for themselves next time and show who they really are during rush. I'm betting the fakiness turned off as many rushees as their weight or anything else.

SockPuppet3 03-07-2006 03:18 PM

Why so hateful, DSTCHAOS?

So far, you've said I'm in denial, that I'm superficial, that I think there's some kind of conspiracy. And now, you're even condemning the fact that I IMPLIED that the successful groups' physical appearance is better than ours. By not mentioning their appearance at all, I'm trying to be PC; I'm pointing out only OUR shortcomings.

Really, I'm just looking for some help. If you don't want to offer helpful suggestions, then don't reply. There's enough negativity around here without your meanness.

CarolinaCutie 03-07-2006 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
The other girls are happy with the way they are. Unfortunately, they probably had a national officer or advisor telling them to be fake and put on a show during rush, and as a result, took women like yourself who thought they were something they weren't.

If you can somehow go early alum or take an inactive status, I would advise it. This isn't the chapter for you.

And, I hope that the girls can stand up for themselves next time and show who they really are during rush. I'm betting the fakiness turned off as many rushees as their weight or anything else.

Do chapters who "show who they really are" recruit competitively? I find it very hard to believe that a chapter could do formal recruitment successfully without the fakeness.

And yes, I realize maybe success in formal recruitment is not a determinant of success in any other area of chapter operations. But quota, as per our national organizations, is a goal we want to achieve. I would be surprised if chapters were achieving quota without a healthy, balanced measure of "fake".

SockPuppet3 03-07-2006 03:20 PM

Thank you 33girl for your suggestions.

I'll look into early alum. I don't know if that's an option or not, but I'll see.

I hate to just give up, though...

:(

DSTCHAOS 03-07-2006 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SockPuppet3
Why so hateful, DSTCHAOS?

So far, you've said I'm in denial, that I'm superficial, that I think there's some kind of conspiracy. And now, you're even condemning the fact that I IMPLIED that the successful groups' physical appearance is better than ours. By not mentioning their appearance at all, I'm trying to be PC; I'm pointing out only OUR shortcomings.

Really, I'm just looking for some help. If you don't want to offer helpful suggestions, then don't reply. There's enough negativity around here without your meanness.

:confused:

Please do me a favor and put me on ignore.

valkyrie 03-07-2006 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SockPuppet3
But, and trust me, I know how bad it sounds, we would be a much stronger chapter if people took better care of themselves.
It doesn't sound bad and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. I know GC tends to be all happy happy joy every chapter is a beautiful flower of loveliness and delight even if the members haven't showered for a week and don't comb their hair. People also like to point out that other chapters have problems too. That's irrelevant.

If you're not happy with the fact that your sisters aren't taking what you consider good care of themselves, you're awesome for trying to make it better. Unfortunately, I'm not full of suggestions. Maybe you could try to do something that combines fitness with philanthropy -- like get a group of sisters to participate in one of those Avon breast cancer walks or something like that. Maybe your motives are somewhat superficial (and to that I say WHO CARES -- we're all superficial in one way or another) but seriously, helping women start taking care of themselves is a good thing that could benefit them as they get older.

DSTCHAOS 03-07-2006 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SockPuppet3
I hate to just give up, though...

:(

Then don't. ;)

We are giving you nothing more than our opinions.

irishpipes 03-07-2006 03:32 PM

I wouldn't recommend giving up or taking alum status. I would recommend running for office. Wear letters a lot, but on days when you know you look nice. I know that our chapter frowned upon wearing letters on days that you rolled out of bed for a test or an early class. Letters were to be worn when you looked nice - even if it was a letter sweatshirt and jeans.

You really can't expect to get people to lose weight. That just isn't going to happen. If they lose it, it will be for reasons way beyond wanting to look good for their sorority.

Good luck!

33girl 03-07-2006 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CarolinaCutie
Do chapters who "show who they really are" recruit competitively? I find it very hard to believe that a chapter could do formal recruitment successfully without the fakeness.

And yes, I realize maybe success in formal recruitment is not a determinant of success in any other area of chapter operations. But quota, as per our national organizations, is a goal we want to achieve. I would be surprised if chapters were achieving quota without a healthy, balanced measure of "fake".

There's fake as in rush/job interview fake, and then there's fake as in acting ways that you would NEVER act if you weren't told to - like wearing makeup when you never wear it otherwise, or feigning interest in things you could care less about.

I'm not condemning fixing yourself up and turning on the charm for rush - on either side - like I said, it's like a job interview. But it seems from the vehemence of the OP's posts that during rush this group looked and behaved in a way that had ZERO to do with who they really are.

It just seems to me - again, solely from the OP's posts - that this chapter likes things the way they are. So what? Not everyone has to be or wants to be the biggest, most popular chapter on campus. If the national is fine with it and won't pull their charter, there's really nothing that can be done about it. I'm sorry that she's stuck in a chapter that isn't what was "advertised," but if she's the lone dissenter she's not going to get anywhere.


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