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Taualumna 04-05-2008 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BBelleADPi (Post 1629670)
My daughter and her friends do not reject their heritage at all. They are very proud of being Chinese. They simply don't connect with it, because American ways are all they've ever known.

We (parents of the three girls) took them to the Chinese New Year Spectacular during Christmas break. They were very excited about going, and told all their friends about the show. I highly recommend this traveling production-the talent is amazing-singing, dancing, acrobatics, etc.


Not connecting to Chinese culture as an adoptee isn't any different from not connecting as an ABC (American Born Chinese - to parents of Chinese descent).

honeychile 04-05-2008 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl (Post 1629756)
How does citizenship work with international adoptions?

One of my closest sisters adopted her daughter from Romania. They were almost through with the paperwork when her husband was transferred to Switzerland. So, they were able to go from their new home in Switzerland, spend a month in Romania, then take her back to Switzerland.

My sister then had to come back to the United States for six months, to establish her daughter's citizenship. During that time, her husband had to go to a meeting in California. She called me and said, "I'm here in (small town) with Amanda, my husband is on a business trip to California, and my dog is alone on the Continent!"

I do know that, days after the six months, they were able to get Amanda a passport and go back to Switzerland (until they were transferred again).

BBelleADPi 04-06-2008 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taualumna (Post 1629816)
Not connecting to Chinese culture as an adoptee isn't any different from not connecting as an ABC (American Born Chinese - to parents of Chinese descent).

I agree.

ladygreek 04-06-2008 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne (Post 1629419)
My sister is in the process of international adoption. She just finished her Home Study this week. I've tried to learn as much as I can about the process since she's going it alone (single mom -- yes, I know not everyone is supportive of this). She'll, hopefully, be adopting a baby girl from Russia.

She plans on taking a lot of photographs and video of the area where the baby is from as well as learning as much about the culture as possible. Knowing my sister, she'll probably buy tons of Russian things to give as gifts each year (in addition to regular presents). I've heard quite a bit about the kids rejecting the culture as teenagers. It makes sense but at least if you give them the information they can choose whether or not to identify with it. Better that, then have them wondering and idealizing an imaginary or unknown "what if."

Best of luck to you, adpi*violet. I know it can be a difficult and emotionally draining process.

Tell your sister that one of the first things she needs to do (if she hasn't already) is have the child tested for fetal alcohol syndrome. This is a big issue with Russion adoptees especially since the adoption agencies tend to cover it up.

Leslie Anne 04-06-2008 08:52 PM

^^^ Yikes! Thanks for the info. I'll let her know. She's found a pediatrician who specializes in internationally adopted children. One of the things she's learned is that there can be medical conditions that go untreated in some countries, so a thorough physical is a must as soon as the baby gets to the U.S.

SigKapSweetie 04-08-2008 08:51 PM

There isn't a 'test' for FAS. Certain physical features can be suggestive of possible fetal alcohol exposure, but this is not true for all children with FAS, and the diagnosis is very difficult to make in infants and toddlers. Children with more severe cases of FAS can be identified in part by developmental delay and/or mental retardation, but this is still not conclusive. It's a clinical diagnosis that should be made by a qualified pediatrician or child psychiatrist.

That said, most of the kiddos up for adoption in Russia have medical records that can be daunting to prospective parents, who haven't seen many of the diagnoses before and don't realize that many of these children are arbitrarily labeled with diagnoses. Leslie Anne, see if your sister's international pediatrician is willing to review video footage sent via computer from your sister while she's in the orphanage. This can sometimes help to make a preliminary diagnosis. The internet is amazing!

Leslie Anne 04-08-2008 09:39 PM

Thank you so much for the suggestion, SigKapSweetie! Reviewing footage is a brilliant idea and I'll definitely pass that along to my sister.

Honeykiss1974 04-09-2008 09:18 AM

Good thread. I'm just thinking outloud here, but honestly, if I adopted a child that was from a different culture/ethnicity than myself, honestly, I don't think I would make a concentrated effort to expose them to whatever their heritage is - especially if their culture is something that I normally do not associate with on a regular basis. I akin it to people telling me how much they "know black culture" because they went to a Junetheenth festival one year or something along those lines. I think the child already knows that they are visually, different from the rest of the family so why reinforce it especially when it seems "forced'?

I dunno...I say all this now but who knows lol. I'm not sure how I would find that balance between true learning of one's self versus awkward attempts?

adpi*violet 04-09-2008 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl (Post 1629756)
How does citizenship work with international adoptions?

"Under the Child Citizenship Act of 2000 all adopted children, under the age of 18 years old, will be granted automatic citizenship upon the finalization of their adoption in the United States."

Depending on the country of origin, this could be soon after arrival or, I know for Korea's case, it can take up to a year. Not sure how long it takes for other countries.

DSTRen13 12-09-2008 05:16 PM

*bump*

We (my husband & I) have been discussing adoption (domestic & international), so I'm interested to hear any and all thoughts you all might ahve to add to this thread ...

Leslie Anne 10-27-2010 09:34 PM

*bump*

I'm an aunt! My sister and I just got back on Saturday from Russia. Sis is now mommy to a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

It's such a relief to have the adoption over with. For some unknown reason, the process took my sister three years. It was so stressful but, of course, well worth it.

Drolefille 10-27-2010 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne (Post 1998666)
*bump*

I'm an aunt! My sister and I just got back on Saturday from Russia. Sis is now mommy to a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

It's such a relief to have the adoption over with. For some unknown reason, the process took my sister three years. It was so stressful but, of course, well worth it.

The mom who returned her son to Russia via plane probably had something to do with the slow down :rolleyes:

But congratulations to your sister! (And you the new aunt :D)

DrPhil 10-27-2010 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Honeykiss1974 (Post 1631538)
Good thread. I'm just thinking outloud here, but honestly, if I adopted a child that was from a different culture/ethnicity than myself, honestly, I don't think I would make a concentrated effort to expose them to whatever their heritage is - especially if their culture is something that I normally do not associate with on a regular basis. I akin it to people telling me how much they "know black culture" because they went to a Junetheenth festival one year or something along those lines. I think the child already knows that they are visually, different from the rest of the family so why reinforce it especially when it seems "forced'?

I dunno...I say all this now but who knows lol. I'm not sure how I would find that balance between true learning of one's self versus awkward attempts?

I wonder if HoneyKiss still feels this way.

There are ways to educate and socialize children without it being forced; and it helps to educate the parent(s), as well. Not connecting your child to their race and ethnicity and nationality is a bad idea. I don't understand why a family/person would adopt a child from a particular race and ethnicity or nationality if the family/person does not associate with that race and ethnicity and nationality.

VandalSquirrel 10-27-2010 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil (Post 1998674)
I wonder if HoneyKiss still feels this way.

There are ways to educate and socialize children without it being forced; and it helps to educate the parent(s), as well. Not connecting your child to their race and ethnicity and nationality is a bad idea. I don't understand why a family/person would adopt a child from a particular race and ethnicity or nationality if the family/person does not associate with that race and ethnicity and nationality.

Because they want babies not older children, as we've discussed before.

DrPhil 10-27-2010 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel (Post 1998689)
Because they want babies not older children, as we've discussed before.

That want doesn't really answer my question so I'll expand my question.

Why do people adopt interracially and internationally if they have no point of reference for that race and ethnicity or nationality, and do not plan on changing that in order to educate the child.


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