you're not ugly but maybe you're setting your standards too high

Plus, if your standards are higher you need to be more agressive.

[chant]
Be Agressive, be, be agressive.
[/chant]

And if all else fails, you could write to TLC and try and get on that show "Date Patrol."

J/K.

On a more serious note, if you have female friends you get along with really well, ask them to a movie or dinner or something. Start small, work your way big.

don't drop your standards!!!!! but follow james' advice (i just like the cheer!!!!)

You're not hideous at all. No worries about the whole dating thing, I hadnt dated anyone until college, and in hindsight, I could have done without 3 of the 4 relationships I've had in my lifetime. I'm sure you'll find someone, just give it time :) and by all means, dont rush it, that only brings guilt....rushing is only good for GLO membership anyways ;)

As much as I hate to admit this (and will not do it pubically where people know me)... here it goes.....

I never dated in high school... was never even asked out. I'm not hideously ugly or anything. I'm no Miss America either. Just an average looking all american girl. I have lived in the same town for 18 years and pretty much graduated w/ the same people I went to kindergarten with. I was always quiet and shy. I didn't wear makeup or dress up. Not really a tomboy, but not a girly-girl either. Another thing is I've always been told that I'm one of the "marrying-type" girls. When guys get to the age where they are looking for marriage, i"m the type of girl they will be looking for. However, when they are just looking to go out and have a little fun, they date other girls.

My first year of college I met a few people. Some guys who flirted but I was oblivious to it at the time, so they didn't think I was interested. I was always super nervous around guys, b/c i was scared I would flirt w/ them and they wouldn't like me or would already have a gf and then I would look like an @ss.

Finally last summer I gave the online dating thing a try (ok, feel like a total loser admitting that). I met an awesome guy who went to my college. Tall, Dark, Handsome, muscular, a total hottie who definitely did not need to meet people online, but he was tired of going to bars or other places and only meeting girls interested in one-nighters. He was my first date ever, He was my first kiss. I also gave him the v-card the night of my first kiss :rolleyes: (boy, do I regret that decision). Anyway, he was looking to really get settled down (and get married) when he graduated in December. I was just starting my sophomore year, so needless to say, that didn't work out.

The one thing I like about dating online is you know the other person is at least a little bit interested in you before you meet face to face.

After dating him, I became much more confident and outgoing with guys. I have been on dates with a few guys sice then and I have seriously dated one other guy. He was 25.... like I said, I attract the ones wanting to get married.


Just put yourself out there, build some confidence and ask the girls out. You might just be surprised at the girls who accept!

I don't think it is too uncommon for guys to have not had a serious girlfriend by the time they are twenty. My last boyfriend only had one serious girlfriend before me and he met her in college. My new boyfriend really has never had a serious girlfriend and is 28. Both have "dated" a lot of women but both said they just never found someone they cared about seriously enough to make their "official" girlfriend. I also tend to think that many people (guys and girls) are looking for "the one" to fall into their lap. That doesn't happen. I think that when you meet someone and get to know them, the rest will follow. I also tend to believe that when you aren't looking, the perfect person will come along. But often too you need to speak up and say something, so the person you are interested in will get the hint.

It's funny--I meet more and more people in their late 20s who have only had one boyfriend or girlfriend--serious or not--and that was in college. This is why I think people should date as much as possible in college and not fall into one joined-at-the-hip relationship. You're around so many other young people with similar goals and lifestyles--to tie yourself down at 18 or 19 seems a little unhealthy to me. I'm seeing it happen with my friends, too--they find it hard to meet single people their age, and will probably be single from 22-30. Sad, but true.

Wise words. I have dated a lot and looking back, it was fun and I learned a lot (negative and positive). Dating a lot of different types of people has helped me learn exactly what and who I am and am not looking to settle down with. Besides, not that this is true for everyone, but remembering how I personally was at 21 and 22, compared to how I am now, if I had settled down with anyone of those particular people from that time it NEVER would have worked out and I would have been one of the girls at my highschool reunion who put single in the memory book under my name because they were too embarassed to put divorced at such a young age. (just my opinion though).

some people are serial daters and always need a girlfrield or boyfriend. other people wait for someone special and won't just date someone for the hell of it and to get some booty.

try to get set up on blind dates through friends or try online dating if you have problems being aggressive. there's no harm in it.

Re: Re: I'm 20 haven't been on a date ever.
 

Dude, geeks need some loving, too. ;)

Hey, I would rather date a guy like you than a guy who is a manwhore...seriously. I would not be turned off by a guy not being experienced in relationships, so long as he has a healthy mindset. I mean, if a guy has not dated because he has a social problem or issues with sexuality, that's not good, but if he just didn't find anyone he wanted to date, that's no prob.

This is totally not uncommon! I didn't really date until I came to college and even then, I don't know if you'd really call it dating, it was more hanging out with guys. I would use your formals/social events as great ways to make yourself have a date. Its one of those times where people don't usually expect it to go anywhere(but sometimes they are pleasntly suprised) and its way less awkward than other first dates. Plus if you ask someone who you know has friends that are going that'll help too. I loved all the girls in my chapter and usually hung out the ones who's dates were in the same fraternity as my date so they'd feel more comfortable.
I also don't like to ask guys out, but there was a formal that I decided to go to at the last minute and i just asked this guy (we'd only spoken like once or twice) and it was one of the most fun nights ever!!! We never went out again, but it was a great experience.

Re: Re: Re: I'm 20 haven't been on a date ever.
 

You know something..one thing I've noticed as I grow older...the chicks that you once thought to be geeky are usually the ones who are the cleanest/std free. Its a factor I always take in to consideration when I meet a chick who might have formerly been a geek.

co-sign on going from first kiss to giving up the v-card in a span of hours. lol

Someone on here once said that guys and girls are different in the way we approach relatonships. Girls meet someone, fall in love and decide they could marry them. Guys decide to get married and then start looking for the right girl.

So very true.