I didn't go into foster care. I was immediately placed in a family. It took my parents 3 years of extensive psychological testing to even get on the waiting list.

But, if she really thinks it would be bad, that's her choice to make.

If the baby's white, healthy, and she's somewhat educated and has been getting prenatal care, then there really would be little to no chance now that her child would be in foster care for very long--if at all.

The white thing is the most important aspect of that...

-Rudey

A baby really is never in foster care long i would imagaine. The wait for couples who want to adopt babies are far greater than mothers giving babies up for adoption.

There are some very good and sound places she can go and get counseling that wil give her the options she has that have been mentioned on here.

Definitely don't offer any advice just be the ear and shoulder she leans on.

Children are a true gift from god and i hope she gets the help she needs.

What about surrogacy? (They still do that yes?) I mean that way your friend can kinda choose the parents that will adopt her child. And I am sure the adoption process is a lot better than what it was years ago, when your friend went thru it.

Can't you even get compensated for that also?

Actually, I would think that it being a BABY is the most important part. When my friends tried to adopt, they were told that the definition of a healthy baby (San Diego County) is one that's just addicted to crack.

I also know a woman who gave up three babies (very long story) at birth. She went through an agency, who provided her with all of her medical needs, and the babies were all very healthy.

And yes, James, many people DO pay for a healthy baby - between $10-$20 thousand isn't uncommon.

BabyP, it does sound as if you're being a good friend - and that's exactly what she needs the most right now!

Re: Friend's unwanted pregnancy
 

if you were a true friend then it wouldnt be what you SHOULD do but rather what you MUST do....be a great friend, just be there for her in this time of need. The last thing she needs is someone else to desert her. As for your comments, dont say anything..this is her life, not yours. In the end everything will work out but untill it does dont make her feel like one choice is better than another- make her feel like her choice is the RIGHT choice. And with that in mind, just be there, it can make a world of difference.

Just be there and most importantly, LISTEN. I once made the mistake of telling a friend my opinion of her unexpected pregnancy. She hasn't spoken to me since. It's better to be a friend and listen instead of judgemental bitch like I was at the time. I've learned my lesson & wish I hadn't been so stupid as to try to give opinions over someone elses life. It's been 8 years but some things you don't forget or forgive.