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-   -   Advise if you wish, or just "listen" and comment. (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=46922)

MTSUGURL 02-19-2004 09:53 PM

First of all, no one has come off as mean. I appreciate honesty and forthrightness MUCH more than pat anwers from well meaning people that only want to tell me what they think I want to hear.

I know I don't have to have a boyfriend, but after while, being 26, single with a married younger brother and a family that continuously wants to know if there are any prospects and when they get grandchildren can make you forget for a little while. It's not that I am looking so hard, but that he's so persistent. There for a while it seemed that it might be easier to be with him than take a chance on getting to know someone new in the future. Knowing that he loves me made it appealing for a little while. I told him that we're not getting back together, that the reasons we didn't work out still exist and they're not going to change. James - that doesn't mean something's wrong with him, just means that we're wrong for each other. And the "It's not you it's me" thing? THAT is more cruel than explaining and telling the truth. I don't feel that it's right to blow someone off without explanation when you have cared so much for them in the past and when they care so much for you. Random hookups, yes, blow them off and it's fine. I don't think it's that way for someone you had a meaningful relationship with just because that relationship no longer exists.

I appreciate the kind words and advice. Thanks a bunch!

Crystal

UKDaisy 02-19-2004 11:55 PM

Re: Re: Advise if you wish, or just "listen" and comment.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by ADPiAkron
Ok first off you are making your self sound like you HAVE TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND! No one needs to HAVVVVE a boyfriend at all times. I was once like that and had the sammmmmme exact problems. Getting asked out by boys I did not like, meeting the wrong type of guys, dating and hurting guys just because I felt better if I was at least dating someone, etc. I was told when you stop looking for a guy, it will begin to rain men- and the good type of men at that! Well so I stopped looking and started spending more time with friends and about after a month or so of not looking my current boyfriend came to be!! He asked me out and we have been together for a year and a half now! So just sit back and wait-- Prince Charming will eventually ride in on his white horse-- just be patient!! Best of luck!!

PS: I was not trying to be mean in any way! Hope you take this as a positive piece of advice!!

This is sooo me! :( I haven't been single this long since I was in the 6th grade.

ADPiAkron 02-19-2004 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MTSUGURL
I know I don't have to have a boyfriend, but after while, being 26, single with a married younger brother and a family that continuously wants to know if there are any prospects and when they get grandchildren can make you forget for a little while. It's not that I am looking so hard, but that he's so persistent.
Shoot- I am 25 and dating someone and I stillllllllllllllll get all those questions and pressure!! It never stops! Someone make it stop! haha ;)

James 02-20-2004 02:27 AM

You know . . . consistant overlapping long term monogamous relationships tend to stifle emotional growth. Just keep that in mind.

alikat2 02-25-2004 03:25 AM

I didn't want to start a new thread so.....
 
I went out on a date like two weeks ago with a friend of a friend. I wasn't terribly attracted to him, though I wasn't terribly unattracted either. Still, I pretty much can tell I'm just not that interested (for one thing, he's a college junior, and I am almost 24. Not a huge age difference, but I've had some bad experiences with younger guys).

We've both been busy so I haven't had to deal with seeing him recently......but I know he wants to go out this weekend. Would it be wrong to go out with him again knowing I'm kind of lukewarm about him? He seems to really like me.

Part of me says yes, I'd be leading him on.......and part of me says just date him for the fun of it, since I can't be with the guy I really am interested in for myriad complicated reasons.


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