Why :rolleyes:??

You spend too much time whining and not enough time trying to fix what's wrong. Sorry if it's harsh...tough love.

Wow, finally something APPROACHING a positive statement.

You need to either

A. Get some serious help. You kinda SOUND like you are in the midst of depression. Every campus has a mental health facility for students. You should take advantage- I have in the past and benefited from it.

If you are NOT depressed (which I suspect to be the case here, depression has some serious marks such as extreme withdrawal, etc that I am not hearing from you and would recognize from my OWN experience), and just like to bitch and moan then proceed to -

B. Get a freakin grip- your life is NOT THAT BAD, there are WAY more folks that have it tougher but since they complain WAY LESS get a lot more sympathy and support from people. Folks can smell needy a mile away and run like hell- no one wants someone who is co-dependent in their life.

I am sorry if this seems harsh, but EVERY TIME I see you post it's another lame whine- men don't like my sorority (like you join one for men?), someone stole my laptop, I hate being big, I'm poor, I don't have a car, blah, blah, whine, moan.

Snap out of it! You will NEVER get your life together or in a good direction with that attitude. I have sympathy, I really do but at SOME point enough is really enough.

No one is saying she has to be Susie freakin Sunshine here, but I mean damn when has whining and moaning ever gotten people anywhere in life?

I hope you feel better Lana.

Lana, I am SO sorry that things are not going well for you. I never got the opportunity to study abroad (or even just at another school), but my friends who did go to Florida, Europe, etc... all said it was the most amazing experience of their lives.

I encourage you to take action and make this time in your life amazing... you have an opportunity that many people do not get and you should experience it to its fullest and make the most of it.

I am going to agree with a lot of what people have said here -- make an effort to go out and meet new people, even if you aren't happy all the time, fake it (yes, you can be down and confide in close friends, but new people do not usually want to get to know people who are not happy and do not make them feel good about themselves). Join organizations, volunteer, go to church, go to the gym -- anyplace where you can make new friends is a place you should be.

Also, make an effort to maintain your friendships with girls at home so that you do have someone to confide in when things are rough. It doesn't make you feel good that your little sis only contacts you when she is down, so don't do that to your friends either. Send them cheery little cards or e-mails often, call them to see how they are doing. I am sure that if you are persistent, they will return the favor.

If nothing else, this time in your life will show you how much you do value your sorority and you will return to Colorado (UNC, right?) with a fresh new outlook on your life there.

I am a firm believer in the theory that situations are not good or bad unless we make them so... Choose to make this one GREAT!

I'm going to go against everyone else and say "Get the Hell out of Dodge!" It's obvious you aren't happy. So why make yourself miserable just so you can say, "Well, I survived it...even though it was crummy!"? Life is too short to spend it doing something you're not happy doing. Yes, I know we've heard the whole when-life-hands-you-a-lemon cliche, but seriously, I only take that to heart about stuff I can't change. You CAN change this! If you've been there a while and still don't like it, just know you gave it a shot and you'd be happier elsewhere. So go! :)

And one more thing--everyone whines at some point. Some people more than others. But we don't know this girl, so how can we say she whines all the time? For all we know, she might be smiling her head off when she's not online.

While I totally understand your point, that no one should stay in a situation where they are unhappy, Lana said that she was unhappy before she left school also. Don't you think there comes a point in each person's life where they have to quit counting on others to make them happy, and learn to make themselves happy? Throughout your life, you are constantly faced with various dificult situations... you can not run away every time something is difficult.

Unfortunately, all we know of her is what she posts on GC. So we are saying...BASED ON HER POSTS...that she whines an awful lot. Yes, times get bad. Yes, we all whine. But not perpetually. No, I don't have to read these threads, nor do I have to post to them. But sometimes it is time to stop coddling people and time to let them know what is up. If AlphaSigLana smiles all the time, I would like to hear about that too, not just the negative stuff.

As far as the situation at hand, here is what I say, take it for what it's worth:

If you act anything in real life like you do on GC, then you are INDIRECTLY asking for what you get. People probably don't want to listen to what you have to say because it gets a little tiresome to hear someone constantly drone on about how bad they have it. And no one forces you to listen to them either. If you get tired of listening to them drone on, just don't listen anymore. Simple.

As far as your laptop getting stolen, vandalism, yadda, yadda, yadda, well sorry. But if you play the role of the victim, you will get victimized. I don't want anyone on this thread using any weird rape analogies about that statement either. I am saying that if you project to people that you are vulnerable and needy (as you do on GC), people are going to treat you as such.

Again, I am just as sympathetic as the next person. But if I notice someone wallowing in their own self-pity, it really makes me wanna tell them to suck it up and move on. If you want to get over it, you are going to have to stop making excuses and just do it.

I see your point, librasoul. I really don't like it when people play the victim all the time, simply because I've dealt with people like that and I can only be so supportive before I want to smack them, you know? But I don't think I've read many of AlphaSigLana's posts before, so I don't have any background on this one.

I still give you the same advice as before, AlphaSigLana--if you don't like it, get out!

I would like to think that some positive statements did come from my post. I did say I love Pensacola. I am just bored. You say find something to do-- that is what I have been doing! As I said many groups don't meet very often or they cost money. I tried finding some of the groups such as debate, but there is no longer an acitve link regarding the debate teamAll i asked is if I should stay here or go back to my sorority bc I missed. Yeah I hated living in the sorority house, but I wasn't the only one. One of my sorority sisters told me that if I did come back she'd help me find somewhere else to live bc she said I shouldn't live in the house again bc of all the drama(she lived in it last yr. as well and hated it). The purpose of my post was to see if I should stay or go back to my comfort zone not have people tell me what kind of person they think that I am.
Also librasoul22-- you say I bitch-- well don't read my posts. Excuse me --don't call me a victim-- I am sure that I lived through more stuff than you(I had a miscarriage at age 15), but I don't think you would understand. I am pissed that my lap top was stolen my parents don't have a lot of money, but they knew that I really could use my own computer and so theythought it would be a good 21st bday present. Also since ihave been in pensacola I have had my picture torn off my door of my apt and defaced, I've had my laundry basket stolen(which isn't a bid deal). YEAH I did complain in a post about being big-I may not be big to some people, but since I used to be an athlete in highschool I feel big by going up some sizes. I am lucky that I am my size. The time I recalled writing about being big was in thread titled complaints or something. The purpose of the post was to complain about something bothering us- not to have other people give their opinion on whether or not they liked your complaint. And yes I should go work out. i admit it is my own fault for increasing in size.
I didn't join a sorority for guys. But, I am not the only girl in my house that feels that we often get ditched by certain fraternities. We would like to do mixers, and we do have some fraternities we hang out with, buy their numbers are not as big. They have around 17 guys-- we have 60 some girls. the thread where i complained about no cute girls for my house, was not written correctly. I wish I could have gotten my point across clearer. I saw the pics from bid day and we did have cute girls. Our house is known to have bigger girls and I think some girls are afraid of this image so they don't want to join our house, that doesn't mean we don't like the girls we get. They are awesome assets. We just wish that we could make quota. I am now a grand big bc my little took a little sis. I was just upset that I am not there for my little. I like one of her adopted bigs. Anyway, I think I am just going to avoid writing anymore in this chatroom. :mad:

Okay, well I am not gonna beg you to stay on GC.

I DO read your posts, although I acknowledge that I don't have to. Believe it or not, I am trying to help you too. My way of helping is to not beat around the bush, or walk on eggshells. If you don't like that, it's cool. But the way that you defend all of your actions, rather than trying to improve on cetain aspects of them, it shows that you would rather be defensive than open to suggestions. Whatever. Some people don't take well to the abrasive way. I think it kind of speaks to your personality that you would let one harsh post prevent you from posting on GC ever again.

Also? Do NOT presume that you have been through more than I have. Trust me sweetheart, you don't want to go there. This is not a competition of who has had the most gut-wrenching childhood so I will spare you the details. In the future though, understand that my point of view is more about CHOICES than CIRCUMSTANCES in regards to individual experiences. I have little sympathy for things that can be controlled through choice.

I think Lana would be hot in real life. Not posting this to offend

Lana,

I was trying to balance it out- I am not the best at giving folks the benefit of the doubt. You sound like you have some underlying issues is all. Maybe you just use GC to vent, I do not know, but I can only judge by what I see here and it is overwhelmingly negative. If you're not coming back to GC then I waste my time writing this, but I do wish you good luck, and gave my opinion with the best of intentions.

I still think that complaining and being so down on yourself and your life 24/7 is not a healthy way to live, and doesn't facilitate any kind of real hapiness. In your posts that I have seen, I always read about your problems, never about your attempts to address or solve them, and you just always have a hopeless air. I truly hope you can overcome that.

Lana, here's the best advice, do what makes you happy.

1.Sit down and write what it is that you want to do in the short term and in the long term.
2.Then write down what it is that this present situation could provide you with in these goals.
3.Then write down what makes you unhappy in that situation.

You now have an overall picture of what's going on in your life. Take the facts given to you and make a plan because once you have everything in front of you, it'll be much easier. And once oyu have your plan, you will feel less anxiety and at least have given some major thought to all this.

-Rudey
--Remember, in the end it's your life and you have control.