I consider myself a member of Alpha Xi Delta, just like i did when i was in school. Just a member. I still read the Quill (our national magazine) when i get it, I still wear my tshirts occassionally, i know where my quill is if i needed to wear it, and if i meet someone who is greek or is talking about their organization, i say that "I am an AZD".
You are what you are weather you are in school or not.

As far as 4 life is concerned. . . when you become an alum, where you like it or not you become a 4 lifer. I personally am at a point in my life when I am so busy with alot of things right now that I don't have time to do the alum thing, or visit my chaper, that sort of things. But I will always be greek and I will always be a ZTA.

Non-Greeks are really hard to deal with because most of the time they have not experienced what was as greek have, and then there are the drop outs who for some reason droped thier greek life. My theory on this is that greek life is like anyother choice that we make in life you either love it or its just not for you. I had may GDI's in college as well as greek friends. Both knew not to talke bad about the other around me because who are we to judge what other choose. Some people do not fit into the greek way of life and thats ok. We as greek must stay aware of this and continue to accept people for this choice what ever it may be.

As for those who only do this for a college experiance. all I have to say is that you are really missing out on the idea of being involved with a brother or sister hood.

First thing, is that I think we all understood the point that Stan was getting at and I don't thinki his intention was to be rude. We have all said things like that.

To add my info, as I said when I first got to college even before becoming a new member I though Greek life was a four year deal, so when I became one that's what I expected. However, as I became a more involved member and to this day I am a Lifer. Being an AGD (Alpha Gam..sorry guys Im use to saying AGD)has given me so much. Ive met many sisters from different chapters (and not just from on here)and have had sisters who I have from my chapter, who I've known for a sort while and thoses whom I have never met do so much for me. I credit AGD and my school experience for the person I am now (along with other things). And I am trying to become a much more involved alum.

Some other stuff to throw out at people....

Alot of us have talked about saying,"I was/used to be an XYZ" vs. "I am an XYZ". Does anyone when talking to a person who they find out is Greek listen to see if they are going to say one or the other? I know a few times I have and sometimes when someone ask me where I was an AGD at, I will say I was an AGD at so and so, but correct myself and say I am an AGD from such and such school or chapter.

What do you think about Greeks {collegians or alums} who only talk about partying? I have an associate (ok-ex-close friend who I occassionally still talk to) who is an alum of ABC and all she ever talks about is their partying and I feel like saying didnt you other stuff??

What do you think about chapters who's members talk about things that their chapters probably shouldnt be doing, and the members dont care and act as if nothing is wrong?

These are just general questions and have nothing to do at all with any specific chapter. I just think they kind of go along with the whole 4 yearer vs. Lifer topic. Anyone feel free to throw out stuff and swing it a different way. :D

1) Is there a such thing as Greeks 4 Four Years and Greeks 4 Life?

Hell yes there is. But I think that during new member programs, we (and I mean most greeks, not just my sorority) haven't done a bang up job in teaching our new members that membership is for life. We say it, but unfortunately, it isn't reinforced. So many wonderful people end up being Greek for 4 years instead of Greek for life.

2) Has anyone else had a conversation like the previously mentioned whether ist someone in their own house or a different one?

I have had this conversation, and through working with chapters as an alumnae volunteer, I feel I have helped some folks who would not have been active alumnae to join the ranks.

3) Can you decifer between those who are 4 years and those for life?

Sometimes, yes, but we had one sister, who just wasn't all that active as a collegiate member, but during her senior year, decided to become a travelling leadership consultant. We all thought it was nuts, b/c she wasn't all that active. She turned out to be a fantastic consultant, and she still is active now as an alum as compared to some sisters who we never ever hear from at all.

4) Would you consider yourself a 4 year or Lifetimer and by what standards?

Definitely a lifer now, but in the beginning, I was a four year. I found out about being a volunteer and working with chapters through a friend of mine who does it, and she got me in the loop. Once I really got into it, I realized that what I wanted to do was to give support to all those chapters who don't get more than a visit from the LCs twice a year, and I also recruited some friends to volunteer. I wouldn't say that my alumnae years have been better than my collegiate years, but they've been sooo rewarding, that I wouldn't trade them for the world. And I've got so many more to go!!

Does anyone when talking to a person who they find out is Greek listen to see if they are going to say one or the other?

I don't necessarily listen for it, but I hear it a lot. Like this: "when I was in college, I was a XYZ". And then I say, "Isn't membership for life?" and they say, "yeah, but I don't do anything anymore..that was for college"....disappointing.

What do you think about Greeks {collegians or alums} who only talk about partying?

I think it's unfortunate that they only talk about the partying, because they don't emphasize to non-Greeks the incredible benefits that also can come out of fraternity/sorority life. BUT, I think this is probably more a "chapter" trait. If your chapter only focuses on partying, why would you focus on something else?

What do you think about chapters who's members talk about things that their chapters probably shouldnt be doing, and the members dont care and act as if nothing is wrong?

Honestly, I don't think that chapters are doing much more worse things than we all probably did as collegiates. I know I participated in some things that weren't up to standards for my own group. I don't doubt that collegiates now do too. If they get caught, they must deal with the consequences, and that's a point I tend to drive home to each chapter I work with on any risk management or hazing issue.

OK, I'll end my novel now :)

4 life!!
 

Lambda Chi Alpha has from time of inseption inmemorial as A Brother For Life!

This is promoted from the time we take a New Associate.

Yes there are some who dissapear off of the face of the Earth, there are many more who remember what Our Brotherhood was and is like!

I still have the hair on the back of my neck rise when I see My Ritual!

I watch as 14 new young men became My Brohters and each time, I had the same reaction!

If you do not want to be a member for life, then why join, just to party and be someone?

Anyone who really believes that they are only a member for 4 years automatically reveals that they lack the character that our respective organizations each call upon us to possess in order to call ourselves brothers or sisters.

To believe you are a member for 4 years only requires that you lie to your brothers or sisters when you participate in the most solemn, sacred rite that the organization and you brotherhood/sisterhood can offer.

I don't think I'm going too far out on a limb when I mention that most GLO's even consider you to be a brother/sister after death!

If you agree to such a thing and then can only hold such a longstanding promise for 4 years I'd say you don't deserve to be in the organization at all!

LHT
Kevin

It seems to me that the people who think in terms of 4 years and out are always the takers. They use the chapter for whatever benefit it can offer them and then toss it away. And personally, those people make me sick.

That said, there are genuinely some people who just simply don't know what all alumni life has to offer. I think if the alum associations made a little more outreach effort and started exposing the members to what is out there while they are still active, they might be more likely to take advantage of "lifetime" membership.

1.yes
2.yes
3.yes
4.YES! I have joined AGD Alumnae Chapters in 3 different States and now working with my 2nd (and fav) chapter in Georgia. I am the Perm. Secretary and we are trying to update a 30-years worth of addresses. I've talked to sisters that I haven't talked to in decades. It's been lots of fun. I just hope that we can follow through our agreement to finally get together.

A frequent syndrome from what I've heard is that recent grads come back for the next Rec. but then drop out of site for a few years.

By spreading the word about the AGD Sister Search on the IHQ website, hopefully that will allow those who have "drifted away" to "swim back fast".

There are about 30 AGDs in my county and the next one over..and that doesn't count the one that my univ. is in.

Our Panhellenic is going to march in the 4th of July parade. Wish we could have every AGD to participate..if that happens, I will donate 2 weeks salary to the AGD Foundation!!

I roomed with a girl this past year who has no reservations about throwing away all of her greek stuff after she graduates. To me, this is a huge insult, she has no plans of contributing to her house with time or money as an alum and even now she never bothers to attend functions and bearly goes to chapter meetings. To me it is clear, if these are your feelings towards your house, deactivate. People like this only bring us down as a chapter. My house is my joy. I am greek for life. And I HIGHLY agree with DeltaSigStan, You are not rude and you know exactly what you're talking about.
Love to all!:D

I roomed with a sister who was using the sorority as a social promotion. She liked having herself associated with our letters so that she would be liked on campus. Anyway, she graduated with me and will not be involved as an alum, unless she finds some way that it will give her personal gain (aside from the obvious gain of friendship and connections with sisters with whom you share a bond...).

I on the other had am a die hard lifer! I will always be involved with an alumnae chapter and since there is not one where I am moving, I will do all I can to establish one myself.

I wanted to aslo add: I think members that are in for just four years serve a great purpose as well. I do not want to think that their 4 years means nothing to their organization. I just prefer to help out after in order to give back and think that many members feel the same and eventually come back to help, it just takes some members longer than others!

1) Is there a such thing as Greeks 4 Four Years and Greeks 4 Life?

Yes there is

2) Has anyone else had a conversation like the previously mentioned whether its someone in their own house or a different one?

Yes, I actually just had this conversation with our chapter president on Thursday!

3) Can you decifer between those who are 4 years and those for life?

In my chapter I can pretty much tell who's a lifer, and who's not.

4) Would you consider yourself a 4 year or Lifetimer and by what standards?

I am a lifer. I knew from the time that I went to the Phi Sigma Sigma interest group informational, that I would be in for life.

I have made plans with sisters for getting a L.A. Alum chapter started, and also getting a house for our chapter. Also, I'm looking forward to becoming an advisor, and any other position that I can hold, to promote my sorority.

I made a promise, and gave an oath that I would be in the sorority for the rest of my life. We have a motto, "Once a Phi Sigma Sigma... Always a Phi Sigma Sigma." And I will live by this!

1) Is there a such thing as Greeks 4 Four Years and Greeks 4 Life?

Yes and no. I've never heard of a GLO that didn't claim that they were brothers/sisters for life. The problem is with individual members' perceptions. And I do think that often members who seem super involved do get burned out and nead a "break" from it.

2) Has anyone else had a conversation like the previously mentioned whether ist someone in their own house or a different one?

I haven't, but I think I would have a lot to say on the benefits of being an active alum. :)

3) Can you decifer between those who are 4 years and those for life? (like when my non-greek friends and one of their GDI (I call anti-greeks those) boyfriends start asking questions and crap and I an example of one of our mutual friends who is in XYZ sorority and myself. Even though she hangs out with her sisters all the time after we all graduated from college. I wouldn't consider her a Lifetimer b/c of things I know.

Usually, no. I have a sister who served as chapter prez for 2 years, attended the National Conventions as a collegiate and was all about Phi Beta. Then she went to grad school in a state where we don't have any chapters (collegiate or alumni). Now she is in a city with a pretty active alumni chapter, she sings with 2 of the members, and they have been trying to get her involved for a year and a half. She just feels like she doesn't have enough time to devote to it (because she is one of those people who goes all out with whatever she does). I'm sort of surprised she wasn't more excited about the opportunity to get involved again.

On the other hand, I have a good friend who I pledged with. She always liked stuff, had fun, did her part, etc. She never held any officer position within the chapter. She then took almost 2 years longer to graduate than the rest of our class and wasn't involved at all because she didn't know anyone. Now she has helped to reactivate our local alum chapter, serves as the treasurer and is really into it!

I think a lot of times people need that break.. they're going to grad school or starting their careers or beginning a family (or a combination of those three) and can't focus on being greek. Something Phi Beta has started trying to do is to immediately contact our graduating collegiates a few weeks before they leave school. We let them know how and why to stay in touch and include them in as much info as possible. A lot of times it takes a few years for alumni to feel like they have "time" for Phi Beta, but if they've been kept informed it's a lot easier for them to get involved again.


4) Would you consider yourself a 4 year or Lifetimer and by what standards? I know most of us would consider ourselves lifetimers, but Ill admitt probably at an early point when I was just getting really into it (even during new member/pledge period) I probably was a 4 year.

Actually, one of the major things that drew me to Phi Beta was its connections beyond the campus. I'm definately a lifer. I have stayed in touch with my old chapter (and still maintain their web site, although I've been trying to pass that on to an active so it's more accurate). I went to my first National Convention a year after graduation and I was hooked. Since then (2000) I've served as National Editor, and would like to continue service nationally for several years regardless of the position. I also just helped reactivate the local alumni chapter here in Columbus. I'm one of those alumni who still wears letters, displays them on her car, has my paddle hanging in my room, etc.

Edited to add this:

My biological sister is a KKG. After her freshman year she tranferred to a 2-year technical school (which of course doesn't have NPC sororities). The school is in Georgia, and she lives about 1/2 and hour outside of Savannah. I encouraged her to get involved in an alumni assoc./chapter but she hasn't done it. (And I'm pretty sure that KKG would have alumni in the Savannah area, but I could be wrong).

She's moving home soon (she graduates this week!!:D ) and I really hope that she re-connects with her sisters here. (Those that pledged as freshman w/ her will still have one more year to go).

I try my best to show her what alumni benefits have to offer, but she just recently was married and is starting her career, too. I hope that eventually she gets involved in Kappa again. Although I have heard her say she is a Kappa and she still wears a lot of letters and things! So maybe she is a lifer, she just hasn't come around all the way yet! :)

1) Is there a such thing as Greeks 4 Four Years and Greeks 4 Life?

In my opinion, once a woman takes those vows, she is a Greek woman for the rest of her life. What she chooses to do with this is up to her. Yes, it is sad when women leave their affiliation behind. That's why it's extremely important that national fraternities and their local chapters and alumnae associations do all they can to keep recent graduates involved.

2) Has anyone else had a conversation like the previously mentioned whether it is someone in their own house or a different one?

I work for my school's Alumni and Development Office, calling alumni. When I ask about their Greek affiliation, half of the alumni I speak to use the past-tense verb. When I call them on this, most of them say, "Oh, that was just something I did in college." I shake my head and regret that their collegiate experience meant so little to them that they do not feel motivated to give back and reap the rewards of being Greek 4 Life.

3) Can you decifer between those who are 4 years and those for life?

Usually, but sometimes I'm surprised. I just spoke with a sister last week who spent the eight years between her graduation and the present attending grad school, getting married, having children, and establishing herself in her career. It turns out that the current president of our local Alumnae Association was a close friend of hers; they pledged together. She regrets that she disappeared from the face of the Kappa earth, but now that she's got her life in order, she very much wishes to rejoin her sisters.

Kappa has two types of Alumnae Associations. Mainly there are the sort that you would expect, which meet once a month and do typical things. In the big cities, ones with large grad schools, we also have groups called Night Owls, which are for the more transitory young alumnae. They do things like go out clubbing and for dinner and such. It's a good way to keep young alumnae involved without demanding too much of a time commitment.

Our chapter is fortunate in that we have an incredibly active local Alumnae Association. We would not still be here if it were not for them. They win awards at Convention every other year and are held up nationally as the paragon of advisory boards. That they teach well by example is obvious because nearly all of our past officers have gone on to be advisors to a chapter near them.

4) Would you consider yourself a 4 year or Lifetimer and by what standards?

I am a Lifer, without question. That's one of the big things that got me into Kappa in the first place: the knowledge that wherever I go, forever, I will have sisters. Kappa's definitely the biggest part of my life right now, and I can't see just giving it up like that because I've graduated. I'd like to be a field representative and go to grad school where there is a Kappa chapter so that I can continue to be involved.

On a small liberal arts campus such as mine, there is a high level of anti-Greek sentiment. GLO's are seen as eliteist and discriminatory and not the sort of thing that a progressive, open, liberal-mined student would even consider. It's especially sour amongst the women, as our fraternities are housed and our sororities are not on this residential campus. The men can explain away their affiliation by saying, "It's for the housing and the food." The women are seen as buying friends. In order to keep our heads above water, we must stress the long-term benefits of affiliation: networking, connections, etc. This is the only way that we will get women to Rush in the first place. Get them to a few Rush parties and they're ours; they see the four-year benefits as well as the lifetime ones.

An interesting variation of this theme is that of our current chapter president. This sister of mine is an incredibly smart, forward-thinking, and ambitious woman who wants to go into politics. She knew when she came to school that she would join a GLO, as it would help her in her future. She investigated the national organizations and found Kappa's to be the best suited to her needs, so she rushed Kappa. She didn't care about the collegiate benefits, the sisterhood, at all. Last week we held our Senior Fireside and she had to say goodbye to some of the women with whom she has been the closest. This sister actually cried as, in that moment, she came to the realization that the love of Kappa had crept up on and enveloped her when she wasn't even looking. As irrelevant as sisterhood had seemed to her, it is now the strongest force in her life. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.