GreekChat.com Forums - should i stay...or should i go?

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- - should i stay...or should i go? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=113948)

Quote:

Originally Posted by jojocircus (Post 1935262)

hi,
i'm not looking for anyone to give me a definite answer, b/c i know that's not possible, but i am in a very strange situation regarding "my" sorority. i say "my" b/c i was never officially initiated..and recruitment is coming up.

sorry...im trying to find the words to explain my situation, but basically due to a number of things i was not initiated and its supposed to happen in the fall. i should be excited abt this, however they were not my first choice..or even my second. i said i would except the bid b/c i thought i would get my first choice(not smart/nice i knw)everyone kept telling me to just go through new member period to see how i felt...now they're telling me to get initiated and see if my feelings change as an active. problem is if i get initiated thats it. if i dnt like it i cant go anywhere else so now is my only chance. it is not as if these are bad girls, or if i dont believe in some of the things they stand for, but i always thought the sorority you are in is supposed to feel like"family" and when i go to my sorority house it should feel like home. i have yet to make any true connections(its been a year!) should it be this hard? how did you feel when you accepted you bid?how do you feel now?

i knw this was a lot to read so any advice, or experiences would be greatly appreciated

So basically your question is whether you should initiate or drop and re-rush instead? Why in the world would you think re-rerushing would bring you better results? Last time, you didn't get a bid from your first and second choices. This time you will also have the burden of being damaged goods; not only someone who was a new member and dropped, but someone who couldn't even meet the basic requirements to be initiated.

I think if you are that uncomfortable, you should drop completely, but understand that you most likely will never be a sorority member again (at least as long as you stay on that campus.)

Someone who has or knows the Green Book could probably answer the legalities of this too. If someone is a new member like this and somehow gets held over without being initiated, would they be eligible for fall recruitment anyway?

I think she would be safe. A bid typically will last from the yearly recruitment to the next yearly recruitment (roughly a year). However, I'm with you. If she did not get initiated for academic or behavior concerns that's a shot in the dark trying to get in somewhere else and if she really is waiting until "next year" I highly doubt she's going to even see an initiation. Something will most likely "come up" or they are waiting for the bid to expire so they can say no-go is my high suspicion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush (Post 1935387)

Someone who has or knows the Green Book could probably answer the legalities of this too. If someone is a new member like this and somehow gets held over without being initiated, would they be eligible for fall recruitment anyway?

Yes. It's a year (or at least, the spirit of a calendar year) since she signed her original bid. That's what matters, not when she depledged.

I too call WTF on having been a pledge for a year and not being initiated. The only way I can see this being somewhat OK (if it's not a local) is if she was part of a colony and they didn't initiate her for grades. Although I would think if she couldn't make grades over that amount of time their colony director from HQ would have kicked her to the curb.

The other possibility is that she was given an open bid in the fall and signed it but declined to start actually pledging. This would explain the being around for a year and not making connections. And then she started actual pledging in the spring. Although my experience is if you put off an open bid for that long and don't have beyond-your-control type reasons (family issues, $$ issues, super heavy semester) you probably don't really want to be there. We had 2 girls who did this, and they both ended up being terminated because they were never around for events or for the sorority, period.

You don't want to be there. Tell the sisters you won't be initiating and go on with your life. If that includes rushing in the fall, be aware that your chances of another group bidding you may be very limited.

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow (Post 1935263)

You've been a "new member" for a year and haven't been initiated?

yeah im considered a "new member" and haven't been initiate because i didnt have enough credits in the fall and was supposed to be initiated in the spring, but i basically de-pledged b/c i didnt think it was a right fit. they asked me to come back and get initiated b/c they thought i would like it better as an active. i thought i would try it, but then i couldnt be initiated until this fall b/c i de-pledged in the same semester i was supposed to be initiated in(the spring).

Please tell me someone other than myself has been singing The Clash anytime you see this thread...

Quote:

Originally Posted by IrishLake (Post 1935547)

Please tell me someone other than myself has been singing The Clash anytime you see this thread...

*raises hand* Probably the point I think.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyPiNK_FL (Post 1935383)

Is it sad that I took a picture with JoJo and her lion (by myself) at MGM about 5 years ago?

Nope. I took one last year!

Quote:

Originally Posted by jojocircus (Post 1935526)

Just cut them loose. They don't deserve to deal with a member like you. How do you know you "don't feel at home with them"? You haven't been around at all the past year. I sure hope this isn't AOII!

Just remember what you put into it is what you'll get out of it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jojocircus (Post 1935526)

yeah im considered a "new member" and haven't been initiate because i didnt have enough credits in the fall and was supposed to be initiated in the spring, but i basically de-pledged b/c i didnt think it was a right fit. they asked me to come back and get initiated b/c they thought i would like it better as an active. i thought i would try it, but then i couldnt be initiated until this fall b/c i de-pledged in the same semester i was supposed to be initiated in(the spring).

This seems fishy to me (as a non-NPCer), but is this common practice?

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow (Post 1935677)

This seems fishy to me (as a non-NPCer), but is this common practice?

No, it is not. They shouldn't have given her a bid in fall to begin with if she didn't have enough credits.

It sounds like this chapter is desparate for members.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1935679)

No, it is not. They shouldn't have given her a bid in fall to begin with if she didn't have enough credits.

It sounds like this chapter is desparate for members.

That's what I was thinking. I've never heard of members begging for dropees to come back.

Thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel (Post 1935649)

Just cut them loose. They don't deserve to deal with a member like you. How do you know you "don't feel at home with them"? You haven't been around at all the past year. I sure hope this isn't AOII!

what makes you assume i haven't been around? is it really neccessary for people to make negative comments? i was looking for helpful advice and wondering how others felt about their sororities b/c generally if feels like everyone is happy/proud to be there. sorry i ever posted.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jojocircus (Post 1935747)

Out of an entire thread you latched on to this?

You depledged and then came back, at least for some of that time you "have not been around"

Public forum means you get the positive and the negative. You got good advice now make a decision and don't blame it on other people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1935679)

No, it is not. They shouldn't have given her a bid in fall to begin with if she didn't have enough credits.

It sounds like this chapter is desparate for members.

this is an NPC organization.
i was not the only one given a bid that did not have enough credits. another girl that did not have enough credits was actually initiated b/c i did not know they dont check so i was honest and told them.