granted but then it gets covered with bed bugs

I wish i had a drink

You do, but when you weren't looking the bartender peed in it.

I wish I were camping right now.

Granted but you get mauled by a gay bear


I wish my fantasy draft was right now

Granted, but you signed up for the wrong one and your fantasy cricket team is dead last in your league.

I wish Microsoft Vista didn't suck so much.

Granted but your commodore 64 sucks far worse


I wish I had some choclate right now

Granted, but they're chocolate covered ants and grasshoppers.

I wish I could find where I put that pin!

granted...you sat on it and it has now hit a nerve ending numbing it


I wish i wasn't so sleepy....I need to complete my podcast

Granted, you just sniffed a bunch of crack

I wish people would not make baseless accusations [not the thread but for reals]

Granted, all the accusations they make are TRUE!

I wish I had more money... :(

Granted, but it's only $0.01 more.

I wish I could change the world.

Granted, but it changes for the worse.



I wish I had my own lap pool.

Granted, but your hair might turn green from the chlorine.

I wish Alicia Sacramone didn't just get screwed out of the bronze medal when the Chinese gymnast who won it FELL

Granted, and the Olympic Rules Committee comes under fire for ALL of the many "errors" made in Women's Gymnastics, starting with the "women's" ages! (I know, no corruptions - the corruptions were already made! Grrrr...)



I wish Shawn Johnson could have gone last on the Floor Exercise, and ended up sharing a Wheaties box with Nastia Lukin!

He did, but he got caught boinking the entire chinese team, even the 6 year old. He was in turn publicly shamed and became an infamous figure in "sports" history.

I wish for 1,000,000 wishes
end thread.

(psst, PhiGam... Shawn Johnson is a girl. Just thought I'd let ya know :-D )

and granted, but for each wish you get, you have to make out with Richard Simmons for no less than 10 minutes.

I wish that Facebook and MySpace would disappear

They do, but then the whole internet is taken over by www.icanhascheezburger.com and all anyone speaks is lolkitteh.

I wish TS Fay would be the last one I have to deal with for the year.

"She" will be the last Tropical Storm you'll have to deal with.. and the rest of the storms will be Cat. 4 and 5 Hurricanes (hitting only your part of Florida).

I wish I could come up with a good wish.

granted but you only get to have 2 hours of sleep for your 30 hour days..

I wish I had a new car

It is... but the only thing it manages to lengthen is your commute and the amount of traffic you are stuck in.

I wish hubby could just have the day off tomorrow and not have a "work from home day" :-(

Granted but he comes down with a severe bout of the flu complete with green phlegm.



I wish the weather wil cooperate as I go to Six Flags on friday

granted, but because the weather is so nice, there are fifty bajillion people there that day and there's a five hour wait for every rollercoaster

I wish I had someplace fun to go on Friday.

Granted, but it's on a plane with 50 screaming children.

I wish the new Harry Potter movie was coming out in November like it was supposed to!

Granted, but in order to get it out on time and save money it's in the form of a porno.

I wish I could sleep all day tomorrow.

granted but its because you are in a coma... and you'll be asleep for the next month

I wish noodles and company delivered

granted but the delivery guy is a bad driver and you end up eating your noodles and company off the floor in the back seat

I wish i had Starbucks

Granted but you find a pube in it.

I wish I had enough money to go to the East Coast like I'm planning.

Granted but you have to leave NOW...and your filght gets stuck in florida


I wish I had a new cell phone

Granted, but your new number used to belong to someone who owes a lot of money to the mob. So you get threatening messages left in the middle of the night.

I wish I could fly.

Granted but the first time you take off you have an anxienty attack, distraught you see a shrink who cures you, now cured, you try again only to get hit by a plane, fall into the ground doing about 100mph...the end.... game over man, game over.



I wish I had 5 more dollars in my pocket for lunch.

Granted, but it is in pennies, and by the time you count out $5 and the cashier recounts it, your lunch break is over and you have to go back to work hungry.

I wish I had a personal chef to cook me healthy, yummy meals every night.

Granted but it gives you ery prolonged and nasty case of diarrhea and gas


I wish Sanaa lathon was my wife.

Granted, but she gained 200 lbs.

I wish I had a man-servant to massage my feet and wash my hair every night.

Granted, but he hasn't used mouthwash or deoderant for the last 10 years.


I wish my legs were as dark as my arms.

Granted, now both your legs and arms are Blueberry colored.

I wish I had one more week off until Fall started. :(

You get your extra week, but a heatwave hits and it's so hot or you'll develop blisters on your skin.

I wish I didn't have to go to a funeral visitation tonight. :(

Granted...you don't have to go, but you get stuck in a pile up behind a stalled car on the interstate for 5 hours on the way to the movies and have a worse night than if you had just gone to the funeral.

I wish I wasn't hung over and at work!

granted, you're so drunk you puke on your desk.

I wish local commercials didn't make me want to die

Granted... instead of making you WANT to die...they just make you die. RIP:p

I wish I had a monkey.

Granted, but he's obnoxious and ruins your house because he's not potty-trained.

I wish weekends happened more often.

Granted - now it can be a "weekend" every day of the week...you're fired!


I wish it was time to go home.