sugar and spice
Amen!!

Silly rabbits....UT is University of TORONTO.

My advice to the original poster is that "If you think that you would feel ashamed of your affiliation, or always wish that you were someplace else, then drop out. Do not get initiated".

Oh and everyone needs to read ErikaXO's (gawd, I miss her!)words of wisdom.

The end.

After watching 10 pages of this discussion, I'm sticking to my original statement: either decide to be part of the force that changes your current sorority around, or depledge, knowing that you will most probably not get another chance in the future.

Crunchies, I think you've heard every possible angle on this and the bottom line is, you have to live in your own skin. I sincerely hope you make the decision that's right for you.

Heather, I completely agree with you that if she isn't getting what she wanted to get out of the sorority - be it social opportunities with fraternities, networking opportunities for jobs, good housing, or friendships with the women - she has every right to be disappointed and/or quit. UT dues are a very very big chunk of change to do something you're not happy with, even if you stick with it and end up having awesome alum experiences or something.

My venom comes from the fact that when a chapter is struggling or feels they are not on the same level as other groups on campus, the LAST thing they need is Debbie Downer who doesn't want to work to make it better (constructive criticism included), or is unhappy when everyone else in the chapter was happy until this person told them why they sucked. Women (and men) like this are cancers on their chapters, and like any other cancer they need to be removed if possible.

For all we know, the members of crunchies' sorority are happy that they don't have mixers every other night and stuff like that. Trust me, my chapter had quite a few women who were the queens of their HS and could have joined other more popular groups but they didn't want to...they had had enough drama to last a lifetime and they wanted to focus more on the women they felt comfy with rather than the women who would get them hooked up with the hottest fraternity guys.

Everyone has moments where they say "why the hell did I join this group?" but when they go past moments, you need to leave. I'm talking about actives too - if you hate going to events, if the only things you go to are required so you don't get fined, if you have nothing in common with your sisters, please leave. I don't care if you have one month till graduation, if you wake up every single day and say "I hate being an XYZ and am ashamed of my affiliation" you need to hit the bricks.

Rudey, that was just wrong.

Just wait until next year!!


Back on topic though: the advice has been right on. The more people talk about their chapter being lower, not as good, etc...the longer it sticks around. I have seen chapters do an awesome job at rebuilding, but they were still in the mindset of "we're low tier". They had come so far, recruited the "cute" women with great grades and leadership abilities, etc... and other chapters even knew it! Be a part of the solution if the chapter thinks there is a problem too...don't stick around and cause problems if they don't see one there. It could be simply that you may have different priorities as the women in the chapter.

time for a breather
 

mercy ladies, it is long past time for all of us to take a breather from this interminable thread. the series of posts in this thread is now long enough that our beloved ~alexandra robbins~ could use it for her next book! "depledge, the ugly truth of sorority life" or "depledge, sororities are only for the beautiful"! oddly, has anyone heard from the now infamous "crunchies"? i think we have covered every single aspect of this from every conceivable angle.

right now i am taking ~carnation's~ sage advise and have just opened yet another two liter bottle of ~cherry vanilla dr. pepper~, diet of course, and i am going to sit back while this just thread just continues and continues and continues while everyone is saying the same thing over and over and over and we never hear from the one that started this debacle!

~kaikey~
a golden key unlocked my heart

Screw the cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper - gimme BEER! :D

I've got to set down the raw cookie dough and pick up something more substantial....like double churned Breyers ice cream. I'll stick with the cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper though.

On a sad note, the closest Sonic to me in in Virginia. I thought there used to be one in Yonkers...but if it was, it's not there anymore. Yankees are crazy not having multiple Sonics around town. I think my hometown has 6, and it's not a big town!

I have nothing else to contribute to the actual thread. I still think you can turn things around. It won't be fast or easy, but I think it can happen.