What to say to, "at least I don't buy my friends!"

MenaceKiller · #1 02-28-2002, 02:41 PM

I'm sick and tired of this kind of conversation:

GDI: "I hate greeks, they're so stupid and drunk and blah blah blah"

Me: "I'm a greek. Don't blame all greeks for the media's stereotyping few greeks for all greeks. We don't do those things. Why don't you rush and find out for yourself?"

GDI: "Pfft. No. At least I don't have to pay for my friends!"

WHERE the hell do they get this fsckin' misconception?!

-MK

zete_boy · #2 02-28-2002, 02:51 PM

First off, this isn't a person i would want in my fraternity to begin with, if they can't fathom there is more to greeks than the stereotypes, then screw them. All i can say to people that ask that question is: 'well, greek organizations are like buisnesses of other clubs, they require money to operate, it's not like you are complining to be a part of clubs that ask for a dues of somesort, it's the exact same way. People just ask that question a lot i find because they just think all we do is party and drink, and they think why should they pay extra to drink when they can do that with their other friends for free.
My two cents,
Ed

PenguinTrax · #3 02-28-2002, 03:01 PM

Buy my friends? Is that what you think? Well, then I certainly don't pay enough...

laft383 · #4 02-28-2002, 03:07 PM

I think the comment about "not paying enough" is an awesome way to disregard the MYTH about greeks paying for friends!!!!

Peaches-n-Cream · #5 02-28-2002, 03:09 PM

Response: At least I have friends!

Just kidding!

You have to pay tuition to go to college. You have to pay fees to be in a club or on a team. You have to pay dues to be in a fraternity or sorority. Nothing in life is free because there are expenses associated with everything including GLOs.

I had 45 sorority sisters so it turned out that I had paid $2.50 per sister. It was a running joke in my sorority. "You have to have lunch with me, I paid $2.50 for you to be my friend."

It was a pretty inexpensive investment for what I received in return.

FuzzieAlum · #6 02-28-2002, 03:20 PM

Every Greek I knew had lots of friends outside their organization - and there was usually someone inside the org they weren't friends with either, although of course they were still polite to each other as brothers or sisters! There were GDI girls I knew who were friends with most of the chapter, proving you don't have to pay to get the friendship. You aren't paying for the friendship anyway - you're paying for formals, mixers, housing, t-shirts, a chance to do philanthropy and grow as a person, opportunities to meet new people, chances to network, etc.

lifesaver · #7 02-28-2002, 04:29 PM

I simply say "They were on sale." and walk off. You arent gonna change their mind.

SparkliiQTMTSU · #8 03-01-2002, 01:05 AM

Alot of people dont understand greek life so they bash it....totally uncool but thats how people are...I have had people tell me that my sisters are all I care about and that the only reason I have my friends is b/c I bought them...ok just like someone else said you have to pay to be in any club or organization or team or whatever..do you not make friends while on those teams or in those clubs??? yes Im sure you do and maybe I did pay for my sisters but damn theyre the best friends I could have ever paid for!!

Nichole

#9 03-01-2002, 02:38 AM

Well that same money that "paid" for my friends, is also the same money that goes towards the alcohol that YOU seem to love to drink when you come to OUR parties.

Shuts them up pretty quick on my campus. After all what anti-greek GDI wants to be busted for being seen at a Greek party.

theta sig agd · #10 03-01-2002, 04:51 AM

I think people say this because they either dont understand why we pay dues, or they are insecure. They dont think they can be apart of the greek life and use that as a defense.

Most people are involved with some kind of group and I have said to people..." Well why do you pay this group money?" They usually say because those are dues. And I tell them it is no different for us. That usually gets people thinking...if not..they are anti greek and I dont waste my time!

Wendy

Alpha Gamma Delta
Theta Sigma
Valdosta State University

SAEalumnus · #11 03-01-2002, 06:17 AM

The major problem with people who throw the whole "buying friends" copout at you is that in nearly every case, there is NOTHING you can say to change their mind. Don't bother - you're only going to waste your own time and energy and will only succeed in frustrating yourself.

When I became an SAE, I made an investment. I've only been an SAE for a few years, but I've already earned PLENTY in dividends. The friendships I've made - friendships I never would have had otherwise not because of paying dues, but because I simply never would have met these people to begin with given the size of my campus - are worth more to me than just about anything else in my life. These are the people who I'm going to invite to my wedding, to share with me in the enjoyment of watching my (future) children grow up, to remember and reflect on the "good-old-days" when we're retired... these are people I'm going to be friends with FOREVER.

Most of these narrow-minded half-wits who think they have the Greek world all figured out don't have the brain power to understand the meaning, significance or value of a life-long friendship and quite frankly I haven't either the time or interest to try to explain it to them. It's their loss anyway. Sure, I've had to deal with some headaches brought on by being Greek and involved, but what career, what pursuit, what adventure of any kind isn't without its challenges? In my opinion, it's all worth it.

Notwithstanding all of these priceless friendships and opportunities of incalculable value, there are two things I've received already from being an SAE that either individually would satisfy all of my investments of time, money and energy, both past and future, but which together have guaranteed that becoming an SAE was the best decision I have ever made. The first: after studying our Ritual and contemplating seriously on it, as a once questioning person trying to hold on to a little thread of faith, I am now so much closer to my belief in God that I can't imagine where I was previously. Second: becoming an SAE afforded me the most valuable friendship of all - my best friend and future wife.

If that isn't an investment well made, then quite frankly I don't know what is.

justamom · #12 03-01-2002, 10:08 AM

I ACTUALLY had someone say this to me recently. I ran into a Mom and asked if her son joined a fraternity (he went to UT and transfered to our state college after one semester). She said
he told her he didn't want to because, "HE DIDN"T WANT TO PAY FOR HIS FRIENDS." I was kind of floored that an adult who was IN a sorority at one time and MARRIED to a man who was in a fraternity would be so flip with that response. I just said something like-Yes, that's a pretty stadard statement for people who don't belong to one...I honestly couldn't think of a response.

Kevin · #13 03-01-2002, 10:32 AM

Anyone who says this suffers from a misconception. People are quick to pick up on negative stereotypes like that becuase they're so much more fun than the truth (guess it's our tabloidesque American culture rearing its ugly head again).

But seriously, someone that says that, if you have the opportunity, I think it's your DUTY to sit there and make them justify what they just said. Ask them.... "Oh really? And how exactly did you come to that conclusion?" (maybe not be so abrasive, but you get the idea).

The money we spend in dues goes to great things, we use it to do things as a group that we could never do as individuals. Sure we throw parties (some even have alcohol [OH NO!]) but I'd be damned surprised if our levels of alcoholism were higher than that of plain 'ol GDI's. Other than parties of course we have philanthropy, community service and the like... well I'm preaching to the choir there, so I needn't continue.

It just kills me though when I hear that people have heard others say this and haven't taken the situation as an opportunity to do a lil bit of PR on behalf of the Greek system.

LHT,
Kevin

Dianne · #14 03-01-2002, 11:26 AM

I do agree that often you are never going to change people's minds. But one time, a girl said this to me (who is a raging b**ch by the way, but that is besides the point) and I asked her if she was ever in any clubs in high school or National Honor Society or Girl Scouts or played a sport, and didn't she have to pay dues or pay for equipment like soccer cleats and shin guards. Of course her answer was yes, and I said, "Well there you go." She had seen the Zeta House on campus and thought it was amazing. And I said, "How do you think we pay for that?!" Obviously I must have changed HER mind b/c when she went back to Univ of Colorado in the fall, she ended up going through rush and pledging!! (And of course now she thinks she's big s**t b/c she's greek).

Lil' Hannah · #15 03-01-2002, 12:13 PM

I read this in another thread (Explaining Greek Pride), from Steve Hoftsetter's article in Columbia's Daily Spectator http://www.columbiaspectator.com/vne.../3c7de251eca2a

"Critics say Greeks buy their friends. But the money that Greeks pay funds the programs that they attend. Their dues pay for retreats and road-trips, mixers and meetings, billiards and ball games. And throwing those parties that you and your friends keep going to. So they're really buying your friends. "

I couldn't have said it better myself...