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Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands
Wow! That would suck to just settle up with somebody you are no longer in love with. Do y’all still talk on the phone? That’s what I remember. I remember that y’all have long conversations on the phone. I’m assuming he’s giving you updates on his situation?
People who are in happy marriages have to really be in love with each other because I have too many frat brothers and friends of mine who are either divorced or going through one. I’d hate to be them. I have a friend who’s going through a divorce who stopped having sex with his wife because he doesn’t want any kids with her because she’s crazy.
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So, we were talking on the phone every other day or so and messaging all day every day for the past 5 months. She had left to hike the Appalachian Trail by herself in late February. He visited her on the trail in March for their anniversary and they fought the whole time. He was supposed to visit her in May and June both, but both times, she told him not to come a week before he was supposed to leave. Last week, she was bit by a tick and tested positive for Lyme Disease so she rented a car and went home with about 6 weeks of hiking left.
They had 5 years of good marriage followed by 3 years of pretty miserable conditions. She flies into rages over what shouldn’t be that big of a deal, like loading the dishwasher wrong. His hope was that she would “hike the mean out of her” on this hike- that it would be transformational for her and she would return to her “old self”. He has asked her to go to marriage counseling (before the hike) and she said she would, but he wouldn’t like what he would hear. When she told him she was coming home early, he went into full panic mode, dreading her return and his loss of peace. He got married with every intention of making it work and I admire that he’s taking all the steps he possibly can to make it work. He didn’t take his vows lightly. He wouldn’t be the person I’d want if he wasn’t that dedicated to trying to make things work out. He said he was going to talk with her and tell her that if things go back to how they were, then he wants them to go to marriage counseling. If she refuses, then he’ll go alone. I do not know how things are going. I didn’t ask, he didn’t offer. I think that’s a phone conversation, not quick messages over Instagram. But I also think they will have a honeymoon period for a bit. I think they will likely fall back into old habits, but only time will tell. Only time will tell if he decides to go ahead and get out of that situation or just “live separate lives” while being married to each other, which is how he felt things were before she left for her hike.
I'll message here and there when he does, but they need time and space to figure out where they are going. And I'll continue to live my life in a way that's fulfilling for me. It's what I've done for the past 20 years and what I'll continue to do. If he ends up single, we'll see what happens then.
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