wedding gift question

JenMarie · #1 04-25-2006, 01:08 AM

My old college roommate is getting married in the summer. She moved back down to So Cal after 2 years while I stayed up north. I didn't get an invitation to the wedding, and honestly, wasn't expecting one. (And probably wouldn't be able to make if she did send me an invite.) But I would still like to get her something.

I just don't want it to come across as "this is a guilt trip gift for not inviting me."

Is there a specific price range I should stick to so it doesn't seem as awkward?

SoCalGirl · #2 04-25-2006, 01:14 AM

I'd say about half of what you'd be willing to spend if you had actually been invited.

PhoenixAzul · #3 04-25-2006, 04:29 AM

Ehhh...sticky situation this. if it were me, I'd send a card with a donation note saying you donated $$ to a chairity you think she'd support. I'd feel less guilted by that as I didn't *personally* benefit from it.

Lady Pi Phi · #4 04-25-2006, 09:19 AM

I was just going to ask a similar question.

Mr. Pi Phi's former roommate is getting married this summer. Mr. Pi Phi isn't exactly the best of friends with the groom and quite frankly can't stand his fiancee. The groom had also stated to Mr. Pi Phi that he expects at least a $300 wedding gift. 1. Mr. Pi Phi and I can't afford that and 2. it's a little insane to spend that much money on people you don't really like. and 3. Who asks for a specific amount for a wedding gift??!!!!

Anyway, Mr. Pi Phi told the groom that we couldn't afford the wedding gift and that it would best not to invite us. Turns out we're still apparently getting an invitation (I'm thinking cash grab). We've decided not to attend the wedding, but I still think it would be the polite thing to do to get them a gift and a card. What kind of gift would be appropriate without being cheap and seems like we're doing it out of spite. I thought a gift card to a store like Linens N' Things would be good, but how much is appropriate?

adpiucf · #5 04-25-2006, 09:23 AM

$50-$100 gift card is perfectly acceptable, depending on your financial situation.

(My rule of thumb $25-35 is for Christmas and birthdays. You could swing $45 for a shower gift. )

AlphaFrog · #6 04-25-2006, 09:24 AM

I'm in the same situation as the OP, but I did get an invite, even though she knows that I won't be able to attend. I think she is registered at Dillards, and I might look to see if there is something small enough that it's not going to cost a fortune to ship, or I might just get her a Dillard's gift card.

AlphaFrog · #7 04-25-2006, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AXiD670
What gall! I didn't even spend that on my friends' gifts that I've known since the 1st or 2nd grade! That is absolutely tacky to tell someone they expect you to spend a certain amount of money.

Don't get them a gift card. Go into L&T and get them the ugliest, tackiest most hideous thing you can find.

Don't forget to announce that you are visiting with them in about 6 months and you expect your gift to be prominently displayed.

Lady Pi Phi · #8 04-25-2006, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AXiD670
What gall! I didn't even spend that on my friends' gifts that I've known since the 1st or 2nd grade! That is absolutely tacky to tell someone they expect you to spend a certain amount of money.

Don't get them a gift card. Go into L&T and get them the ugliest, tackiest most hideous thing you can find.

That's not even the best part. A couple weekends ago while I was at Mr. Pi Phi's place, the groom had called. They started chatting and he mentioned that his fiancee had just had her bridal shower. He then proceeded to tell Mr. Pi Phi just how much cash she received at her shower. Oh yeah, I could hear the entire conversation...he was that loud on the phone.

Yeah this guy is a piece of work, he made up his own nickname and insists people call him by it.

BetteDavisEyes · #9 04-25-2006, 10:14 AM

I just thought of this situation that happened to my hubby & me. He never got along w/his former boss. They butted heads constantly & were cordial at best when it came to working together. He was grateful & happy when he got a new job. Naturally, we didn't invite her to our wedding b/c he couldn't stand her so he saw no reason to invite her. A few weeks ago, she mailed us a wedding gift of a Roomba vacuum cleaner. I know these things cost quite a bit of $$$. In the packaging slip was a note that said, "Many happy wishes to you both! Congratulations on your marriage even though I wasn't invited. Congrats again, XXX."

I almost fell over laughing that she would have put that on the note but now I'm at a loss on how to respond in the Thank You card.

Lady Pi Phi · #10 04-25-2006, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BetteDavisEyes
I just thought of this situation that happened to my hubby & me. He never got along w/his former boss. They butted heads constantly & were cordial at best when it came to working together. He was grateful & happy when he got a new job. Naturally, we didn't invite her to our wedding b/c he couldn't stand her so he saw no reason to invite her. A few weeks ago, she mailed us a wedding gift of a Roomba vacuum cleaner. I know these things cost quite a bit of $$$. In the packaging slip was a note that said, "Many happy wishes to you both! Congratulations on your marriage even though I wasn't invited. Congrats again, XXX."

I almost fell over laughing that she would have put that on the note but now I'm at a loss on how to respond in the Thank You card.

You could always say "Thank you for the very generous gift. You weren't invited because hubby can't stand you. Thanks again, XXX"

AGDee · #11 04-25-2006, 11:15 AM

I was thinking something along the lines of "Thank you for Roomba. We will think of you as it crawls along the floor sucking up our dirt"

AlphaFrog · #12 08-03-2007, 10:49 AM

Ok, new wedding gift question, but I don't feel like starting a new thread...

I was asked to sing (and then somehow got nominated to plan all of the music - not that I mind, I enjoy that sort of thing) at an informal, outdoor wedding (second marrige for both involved). I'm absolutely not charging her (except for maybe a piece of music that I'll have to buy, because I've not found someone who has the song she wants). I did not receive a formal invitiation, which is ok, I wasn't really expecting one, since I had already told her I would sing. She's someone I know from church - I would call her more than an aquaintance, but not quite a friend...we've not seen eachother outside of church, but we talk frequently when we're there...

So, anyway, gift or not? And if so, suggestions?

ForeverRoses · #13 08-03-2007, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Ok, new wedding gift question, but I don't feel like starting a new thread...

I was asked to sing (and then somehow got nominated to plan all of the music - not that I mind, I enjoy that sort of thing) at an informal, outdoor wedding (second marrige for both involved). I'm absolutely not charging her (except for maybe a piece of music that I'll have to buy, because I've not found someone who has the song she wants). I did not receive a formal invitiation, which is ok, I wasn't really expecting one, since I had already told her I would sing. She's someone I know from church - I would call her more than an aquaintance, but not quite a friend...we've not seen eachother outside of church, but we talk frequently when we're there...

So, anyway, gift or not? And if so, suggestions?

I wouldn't spend much and if possible keep it music related. Maybe take the sheet music that you need to buy, have it framed in a pretty frame, and give them that (Since it is their "wedding song").

A friend of mine has some sheet music framed and hanging over her piano. It actually looks very nice.

adpiucf · #14 08-03-2007, 11:18 AM

That's a wonderful gift idea!

AlphaFrog · #15 08-03-2007, 11:22 AM

I love that idea!