Mutual selection?

[OPhiAGinger]

My GLO doesn't offer an AI path to full membership, so I've been fascinated by the divergent and very vocal opinions on AI offered here at GC. I believe the unwavering support and mature leadership of a sorority's alumnae are its strength, so the idea of attracting new members at the alumnae level seems like a good idea to me. Granted, it's critical that the new members who join in that way understand the difference between membership as an alumna and membership as a collegiate -- that they're not trying to revive a missed collegiate experience -- but if they are ready to embrace the alumnae experience, that sounds like it would strengthen the sorority.

But there's one thing I'm still confused about. I'm completely addicted to the collegiate recruitment stories and can't count the number of times the PNMs were advised to keep an open mind and consider every chapter in their search for their new home. But when a PNAM comes along and mentions that she is researching three different sororities, she is lambasted for sorority shopping.

It seems like if you support the concept of mutual selection, it should apply at the AI level as well as the collegiate level.

It just makes me sad to think of strong, smart professionals being turned away from an organization that they want to devote time, energy, and money to....

Originally Posted by OPhiAGinger

My GLO doesn't offer an AI path to full membership, so I've been fascinated by the divergent and very vocal opinions on AI offered here at GC. I believe the unwavering support and mature leadership of a sorority's alumnae are its strength, so the idea of attracting new members at the alumnae level seems like a good idea to me. Granted, it's critical that the new members who join in that way understand the difference between membership as an alumna and membership as a collegiate -- that they're not trying to revive a missed collegiate experience -- but if they are ready to embrace the alumnae experience, that sounds like it would strengthen the sorority.

But there's one thing I'm still confused about. I'm completely addicted to the collegiate recruitment stories and can't count the number of times the PNMs were advised to keep an open mind and consider every chapter in their search for their new home. But when a PNAM comes along and mentions that she is researching three different sororities, she is lambasted for sorority shopping.

It seems like if you support the concept of mutual selection, it should apply at the AI level as well as the collegiate level.

It just makes me sad to think of strong, smart professionals being turned away from an organization that they want to devote time, energy, and money to....

Comparing collegiate recruitment and alumnae initiation is like comparing apples and oranges. Sure, mutual selection is important for AI, but it is nothing at all like collegiate recruitment.

I've always felt that Alumnae Initiation should be reserved for the women who've helped out the organization in some way, women who are approached by the organization for this privilege known as membership. When a PNAM shops around for sororities she wants to AI, it's saying to me "I've got more than one I want to join, and I want to keep the others around just in case yours doesn't work out."

There's nothing to be confused about. You just DON'T compare recruitment and Alumnae Initiation.

[OPhiAGinger]

Originally Posted by OTW

When a PNAM shops around for sororities she wants to AI, it's saying to me "I've got more than one I want to join, and I want to keep the others around just in case yours doesn't work out."

This is exactly the approach GC encourages for PNMs. So why do the most vocal posters on GC advise just the opposite for PNAMs?

And I think you missed my point about mutual selection. Denying PNAMs the right to make the first overture is essentially denying their part of the mutual selection process.

AOEForMe, thanks for your response. I agree that selecting someone who may live in your house for several years requires a different process than selecting someone to serve on committees and monthly alumnae chapter meetings. Good point.

Originally Posted by OPhiAGinger

This is exactly the approach GC encourages for PNMs. So why do the most vocal posters on GC advise just the opposite for PNAMs?

Because AI is NOTHING like collegiate recruitment. Just because there are two methods of entry into membership into an organization does not mean the attitudes and approach for one has to be applied to the other.

And I think you missed my point about mutual selection. Denying PNAMs the right to make the first overture is essentially denying their part of the mutual selection process.

No, I don't think I missed your point at all. If Abigail Alumna wants to petition Patty PNAM for membership, Patty PNAM would have to be willing to go through AI. There you go, AI mutual selection.

Collegiate chapters don't have to take in every PNM that wants to be a member very badly. Why should Alum Chapters have to take in every strong, smart professional that wants to devote time, energy, and money?

[SWTXBelle]

It's simple: collegiate chapters are designed to recruite new members. Alumnae chapters are designed to enable alumnae to continue in the group they joined after they leave college. They are NOT meant to recruit - they are meant to be a continuation from college. AI programs exist to honour women who the GLO believes have contributed to the GLO already, or who have a tie to the group (i.e. mothers, volunteers). Some NPC groups do not have an AI program at all.

[OPhiAGinger]

I'm not suggesting that sororities must accept everyone who expresses an interest. Of course not!

But I feel bad for Patty PNAM, waiting around for Abigail Alumna to recognize what a fantastic sister she would be. This is analogous to the way well-bred young ladies in my mother's generation had to wait for men to ask them out. It was scandalous for the girls to ask a boy out back in the day. Why is it so wrong for Patty to express her interest? How will Abi know Patty is even interested otherwise? Maybe it's time for this social norm to catch up with other social norms, and encourage women to take more direct ownership of their own happiness rather than just waiting around for something to fall into their lap.

[Senusret I]

Unpopular opinion: Are NPC orgs really doing that much for humanity that women would rather join a sorority as an alum over the Junior League, the Order of the Eastern Star, or as volunteers and board members of their favorite nonprofits?

In the District of Columbia I don't see it.

That said, I do agree with OPhiAGinger in that there is inconsistency in the NPC messages about the paths to membership that goes beyond each NPC having their own alumnae or honorary membership process.

It wouldn't kill an NPC or two to have an AI process which was structured more like an NPHC sorority -- and it wouldn't kill an NPC to have no AI process at all.

Take it to the convention floor, ladies! Some of the gates are wide open.

[KSUViolet06]

Honestly, I view this kind of how NPHC views this sort of thing.

If you're keeping an open mind to different groups, great. But it's all about discretion. As in, not coming onto the internet and talking about all of the different sororities you've contacted.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by OPhiAGinger

I'm not suggesting that sororities must accept everyone who expresses an interest. Of course not!

Why is it so wrong for Patty to express her interest? How will Abi know Patty is even interested otherwise? Maybe it's time for this social norm to catch up with other social norms, and encourage women to take more direct ownership of their own happiness rather than just waiting around for something to fall into their lap.

That's just how the policy in some sororities works. My thoughts:


Originally, AI was created to honor non-members who have served the sorority in some capacity (faculty advisor, housemom, etc). So I think that's why AI works the way it does now. Because it wasn't meant for everybody and their mom who was interested. Just certain "special cases." It wasn't meant to be an option for people to regularly pursue membership (like collegiate recruitment). Hence why the mutual selection thing does not apply in this case.

[SWTXBelle]

Amazingly enough, the members of each NPC group get to decide whether they want to have an AI program at all, and if so, how it will operate. I can't imagine trying to dictate to another group what they should or should not do. NPHC groups have their way of doing things, and more power to them. Some NPC groups don't have AI at all - if it works for them, good. I am a big fan of Gamma Phi's AI program. I like it the way it is, and see no reason to change.

I know of no NPC group that has an AI program with the stated aim of providing philanthropic opportunities for women. While our charitable works are important, they are not the only reason for membership, and the various AI programs are, as has been noted, considered an honour to be bestowed, not something to be pursued.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Unpopular opinion: Are NPC orgs really doing that much for humanity that women would rather join a sorority as an alum over the Junior League, the Order of the Easter Star, or as volunteers and board members of their favorite nonprofits?

This isn't unpopular at all.

Maybe it's because I joined in college, but I always am really surprised when post-college women say stuff like "It's just been by DREAM to be in an NPC sorority." [unless they were a former pledge or something and had to depledge because of some circumstance]

I would think that by this point in someone's life, they would have found something to fill the "need" that they feel like the NPC sorority will fill (i.e. JL, any number of women's charity orgs, etc).

Sometimes I feel like they maybe don't understand that being a ___ as an alumna is not going to be the same as being a __ in undergrad.

[texas*princess]

I'd also like to add that NPC members don't question the membership intake processes of NPHC or Multi-cultural sororities, or professional groups, or fraternities.

And those groups shouldn't question the membership intake processes of others. What works for one will not always work for all.

NPC sororities get the vast majority of it's members through it's collegiate chapters. So if you didn't feel you had time for it then, well, you missed the boat.

There are so many groups out there - like the Junior League for example - that are doing great things for philanthropic causes.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

I'd also like to add that NPC members don't question the membership intake processes of NPHC or Multi-cultural sororities, or professional groups, or fraternities.

And those groups shouldn't question the membership intake processes of others. What works for one will not always work for all.

No. We question each other daily. It's conversation and there's nothing wrong with it.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

I'd also like to add that NPC members don't question the membership intake processes of NPHC or Multi-cultural sororities, or professional groups, or fraternities.

And those groups shouldn't question the membership intake processes of others. What works for one will not always work for all.

NPC sororities get the vast majority of it's members through it's collegiate chapters. So if you didn't feel you had time for it then, well, you missed the boat.

I love you. Seriously.

For example:

If anyone started a thread saying "Well, I think the NPHC groups' membership selction/intake processes are ______ and we think that it should be more like ______ because it concerns me that Interests/Prospective Members don't go through a process more like the NPC sororities."

The response from NPHC members would pretty much be "That is none of your concern."

[Senusret I]

Not necessarily. People tend to forget that not all NPHC people in real life or on this board have the same opinions.