Family Members Going Greek

[fullertongreek]

I dont know if this has been discussed before but even if it has I thought it might be an interesting discussion.

This came up last night when I was talking to a sorority sister of mine. She told me her cousin is a freshman at another college and is considering joining XYZ fraternity. We have XYZ fraternity at our school and my sorority sister has not had the best experience with these guys. Not that they are bad guys, its mostly personal and she was very much hurt badly by some of the brothers. She has mixed emotions about her cousin potentially joining the same fraternity. I was wondering what other people thought about this. Would you let a potentially personal bias get in the way of a family member or close friend joining a GLO that you did not think highly of?

[Kevin]

I think you need to not judge an entire national organization by its individual chapters.

National fraternities are a sum of their parts but their parts are each completely different!

If they're an 'animal house' on your campus they may be the best house on his. At any rate he at this time thinks it's the best house for him. Unless your opinion has something to do with the specific chapter he's joining (and even if it does) I believe you should keep it to yourself. He'll probably join anyway and then where will you be?

[Dianne]

Regardless of how your sorority sister feels about XYZ fraternity, she's not the one potentially joining it. It's her cousin's future in Greek life. Let him decide for himself. (Besides, being badly hurt by one of the brothers says nothing about the national fraternity, nor does it really have a whole lot of bearing even on the chapter at your school.)

[nyrdrms]

I have to agree with what's already been said.

Just because this fraternity might not have the best reputation on your campus doesn't mean that they have the same reputation at your sister's cousin's campus. Besides that, you said that she doesn't like them for PERSONAL reasons....well, these guys, should her cousin join, will be his brothers, but her personal reasons shouldn't affect the way she views the national organization as a whole.

In the end, the decision is his to make...she can either choose to support him or not, but it would be best if she could put aside her personal feelings if it's what will make him happy.

[FuzzieAlum]

I would _never_ tell a family member not to join somewhere - unless I actually knew that chapter well and knew they were awful hazers. Not liking them - and especially not liking another chapter - isn't relevant.

A sister I know had an older brother in a fraternity. She went off to the same college and went through rush. He told her, "You can join any sorority except AXD or XYZ." Guess what, she went through rush, and ended up at the pref parties for ... AXD and XYZ. She got a bid from AXD, and instead of being excited for herself, she was so terrified of what her brother would say, she cried when she opened it - even though she was personally happy with the bid.

She was fortunate enough to have a lovely Rho Chi who told her that her brother was being an ass and went with her to call and inform her brother. Obviously, the bid worked out for her, and today she is an active, dedicated alum. Her brother had no business putting her through that heartache.

Your friend certainly has a right to express to her cousin, especially if they're close, that her experiences with ABC haven't been great, but to say, "No, don't join," is far different.