I WANT OUT!

[TrueBleu]

Disclaimer: I’m not trying to cause issues. I am simply bringing this to the table. Please trust me in saying that I know my chapter and my org. This is as far from exaggeration as possible. Feel Free to QFP because I have nothing to hide.
Alright so here is the deal: I joined a GLO because I loved the girls and what I thought it stood for. Two girls from my high school joined and I thought they loved it… one not so much anymore(they are alumnae.) My pledge period was wonderful, but when I became an active I really saw how rachet this chapter and GLO really is. I don’t want to quit because I love the ideals, but I just can’t take the hypocrisy anymore. Once I joined a different type of sorority, I really saw what my first GLO could be, and I have been thinking bout leaving ever sense (3years). The first GLO is run by no joke, a bunch of old fat bitter women who joined because no one else would take them. They have had the same group with the same backwards thinking for years. They all just switch offices and treat alumnae life like its college 2.0. I don’t even think we have alumnae groups that do anything. Most of them think greek life is supposed to be like the show GREEK. They act like this GLO is sooooooo much better than other GLOS when they don’t have sH!t for Shineola. But they get pissed off if you mention that you are in two, because they are so bitter. They literally held international elections and it was a popularity contest. They pick their friends and they people who will support the status quo and not really work for the GLO. Internationally, the sisters act like they are the best b!tchs who ever had letters.
Now to my chapter. We are the biggest waste of space as a group. We do nothing related to our ideals. everything again is a popularity contest. When we asked for help from internationals, they sent the biggest box of rocks I’ve ever met. She was ok with the fact we were breaking 10+ rules of our GLO/school. She didn’t even know what the rules were. She overlooked hazing, racism and the fact we can’t keep anyone involved. She is now an international officer and got it because she was in with the crowd. Many of our older sisters were members of two orgs or just great girls, now we have the rejects/ girls that were kicked out of other groups for hazing. Our alums don’t even show up when we need them. The only one I’ve met is a freak. She acts like the best thing she ever did was to be a FGH. Last year we were honest to god recruiting the girls who didn’t get a bid with the “we’re so much better, and that’s why you got dropped. You are just too kool for them“ card. They are racist to my face and I can only take so much. I have never seen a group formed of bitter b!tchs in my life. They kick out girls they don’t like or file paperwork and don’t tell the girl until she gets a letter saying she is gone. This is ok with our GLO because the chapter has done this from the beginning and they don’t care. They voted out three black girls before initiation and nationals did nothing even when we said people did it because of race. They spoke openly in voting about it.
The final straw was when my ex-roomate and “sister” said I should GTFO in a passive aggressive way. I found out the exec board was looking at bid pictures last night to see who is a dual member. They plan to watch all the dual sisters to kick them out/ blackball( yes we actually vote like this) the PNMs that are in another GLO. We all talked today and said that we want to stand up, but our “Leadership” won’t do anything to help. I only joined the other group because the values my first group had were not there. I think the pledge period was a way to get $$$ and look like our chapter is doing ok. I don’t want to leave. I just don’t see how I can take an inactive status when that is just the easy way out. That is disrespectful to the ideals and founders, but the group is not living up to our ideals.

[carnation]

Tell us how you really feel.

[IrishLake]

Sounds like a nightmare. I can only hope you don't belong to Theta.

[KKGCaroline]

Am I having a dumb moment (Apart from replying to this uber-troll?)

You either quit your sisterhood, or they kick you out, you're out whichever way you look at it. Why stay around somewhere you don't really want to be, or with people that don't really want you there?

#pleasedontbeakappa

[WhiteDaisy128]

Originally Posted by TrueBleu

Disclaimer: I’m not trying to cause issues. I am simply bringing this to the table. Please trust me in saying that I know my chapter and my org. This is as far from exaggeration as possible. Feel Free to QFP because I have nothing to hide.
Alright so here is the deal: I joined a GLO because I loved the girls and what I thought it stood for. Two girls from my high school joined and I thought they loved it… one not so much anymore(they are alumnae.) My pledge period was wonderful, but when I became an active I really saw how rachet this chapter and GLO really is. I don’t want to quit because I love the ideals, but I just can’t take the hypocrisy anymore. Once I joined a different type of sorority, I really saw what my first GLO could be, and I have been thinking bout leaving ever sense (3years). The first GLO is run by no joke, a bunch of old fat bitter women who joined because no one else would take them. They have had the same group with the same backwards thinking for years. They all just switch offices and treat alumnae life like its college 2.0. I don’t even think we have alumnae groups that do anything. Most of them think greek life is supposed to be like the show GREEK. They act like this GLO is sooooooo much better than other GLOS when they don’t have sH!t for Shineola. But they get pissed off if you mention that you are in two, because they are so bitter. They literally held international elections and it was a popularity contest. They pick their friends and they people who will support the status quo and not really work for the GLO. Internationally, the sisters act like they are the best b!tchs who ever had letters.
Now to my chapter. We are the biggest waste of space as a group. We do nothing related to our ideals. everything again is a popularity contest. When we asked for help from internationals, they sent the biggest box of rocks I’ve ever met. She was ok with the fact we were breaking 10+ rules of our GLO/school. She didn’t even know what the rules were. She overlooked hazing, racism and the fact we can’t keep anyone involved. She is now an international officer and got it because she was in with the crowd. Many of our older sisters were members of two orgs or just great girls, now we have the rejects/ girls that were kicked out of other groups for hazing. Our alums don’t even show up when we need them. The only one I’ve met is a freak. She acts like the best thing she ever did was to be a FGH. Last year we were honest to god recruiting the girls who didn’t get a bid with the “we’re so much better, and that’s why you got dropped. You are just too kool for them“ card. They are racist to my face and I can only take so much. I have never seen a group formed of bitter b!tchs in my life. They kick out girls they don’t like or file paperwork and don’t tell the girl until she gets a letter saying she is gone. This is ok with our GLO because the chapter has done this from the beginning and they don’t care. They voted out three black girls before initiation and nationals did nothing even when we said people did it because of race. They spoke openly in voting about it.
The final straw was when my ex-roomate and “sister” said I should GTFO in a passive aggressive way. I found out the exec board was looking at bid pictures last night to see who is a dual member. They plan to watch all the dual sisters to kick them out/ blackball( yes we actually vote like this) the PNMs that are in another GLO. We all talked today and said that we want to stand up, but our “Leadership” won’t do anything to help. I only joined the other group because the values my first group had were not there. I think the pledge period was a way to get $$$ and look like our chapter is doing ok. I don’t want to leave. I just don’t see how I can take an inactive status when that is just the easy way out. That is disrespectful to the ideals and founders, but the group is not living up to our ideals.

Does not compute.

You say in your title that you want out. Just quit.

Then you say you don't want to leave. Huh?

[Sen's Revenge]

Originally Posted by TrueBleu

Disclaimer: I’m not trying to cause issues. I am simply bringing this to the table. Please trust me in saying that I know my chapter and my org. This is as far from exaggeration as possible. Feel Free to QFP because I have nothing to hide.
Alright so here is the deal: I joined a GLO because I loved the girls and what I thought it stood for. Two girls from my high school joined and I thought they loved it… one not so much anymore(they are alumnae.) My pledge period was wonderful, but when I became an active I really saw how rachet this chapter and GLO really is. I don’t want to quit because I love the ideals, but I just can’t take the hypocrisy anymore. Once I joined a different type of sorority, I really saw what my first GLO could be, and I have been thinking bout leaving ever sense (3years). The first GLO is run by no joke, a bunch of old fat bitter women who joined because no one else would take them. They have had the same group with the same backwards thinking for years. They all just switch offices and treat alumnae life like its college 2.0. I don’t even think we have alumnae groups that do anything. Most of them think greek life is supposed to be like the show GREEK. They act like this GLO is sooooooo much better than other GLOS when they don’t have sH!t for Shineola. But they get pissed off if you mention that you are in two, because they are so bitter. They literally held international elections and it was a popularity contest. They pick their friends and they people who will support the status quo and not really work for the GLO. Internationally, the sisters act like they are the best b!tchs who ever had letters.
Now to my chapter. We are the biggest waste of space as a group. We do nothing related to our ideals. everything again is a popularity contest. When we asked for help from internationals, they sent the biggest box of rocks I’ve ever met. She was ok with the fact we were breaking 10+ rules of our GLO/school. She didn’t even know what the rules were. She overlooked hazing, racism and the fact we can’t keep anyone involved. She is now an international officer and got it because she was in with the crowd. Many of our older sisters were members of two orgs or just great girls, now we have the rejects/ girls that were kicked out of other groups for hazing. Our alums don’t even show up when we need them. The only one I’ve met is a freak. She acts like the best thing she ever did was to be a FGH. Last year we were honest to god recruiting the girls who didn’t get a bid with the “we’re so much better, and that’s why you got dropped. You are just too kool for them“ card. They are racist to my face and I can only take so much. I have never seen a group formed of bitter b!tchs in my life. They kick out girls they don’t like or file paperwork and don’t tell the girl until she gets a letter saying she is gone. This is ok with our GLO because the chapter has done this from the beginning and they don’t care. They voted out three black girls before initiation and nationals did nothing even when we said people did it because of race. They spoke openly in voting about it.
The final straw was when my ex-roomate and “sister” said I should GTFO in a passive aggressive way. I found out the exec board was looking at bid pictures last night to see who is a dual member. They plan to watch all the dual sisters to kick them out/ blackball( yes we actually vote like this) the PNMs that are in another GLO. We all talked today and said that we want to stand up, but our “Leadership” won’t do anything to help. I only joined the other group because the values my first group had were not there. I think the pledge period was a way to get $$$ and look like our chapter is doing ok. I don’t want to leave. I just don’t see how I can take an inactive status when that is just the easy way out. That is disrespectful to the ideals and founders, but the group is not living up to our ideals.

It sounds like you are in an NPC or NPC-like group and then you joined a service fraternity or sorority, or some other service/professional/honor group on campus which is filling some needs, but not your social needs.

You also seem to lack trust in the alumnae leadership of your sorority, which is not only frustrating, but also ensures that you will likely never be an alumna volunteer for your org.

I am not in an NPC org, but the way I see it, if you don't want to quit, then you have to fight using every tool at your disposal. Just be prepared for the backlash, which could include being expelled if you don't handle matters internally.

If there is literally NOBODY in your sorority for you to bring your grievances to (and I do insist that you take internal measures to TRY to set the chapter on the right course), the only other option I see taking is to speak to the Office of Greek Life about the incidents. I can't imagine a campus which would tolerate the discrimination that you've described.

But again, know that this is a nuclear option. When you bring in the university, don't presume their solution will be mediation. It will be punishment.

[TrueBleu]

Irish, without giving away details, I can say neither group is on the NPC.

KKGCaroline: They can't kick me out if I follow all rules to a T. I'm sorry your experience has been so great that you think this situation is impossible.

WhiteDaisy: There is something to be said about a vow I took to be a Life long member and to support my chapter/ sisterhood in good times and in bad. I am also a person who believes you get what you put into it. You don't leave without trying to make things better for you and for the girls who come after you. I don't want to leave, but how is it right to take inactive ( used for sisters who truly need it, not those that don't like FGH)?

[TrueBleu]

Sen: we are not invoked in any way with greek life. We have no adviser except a sister who became an alumna and is still in college. Even with her we have no oversight in anyway. Our chapter is allowed to be independent. It is not just me that feels it is wrong, but the other girl who are in my situation have no problem just leaving because they found a better place. How do I leave my little sister and others in a mess and justify my promise of being there for her forever? It was never that one group does more than the other, but a group that is doing the things they said they would do as a GLO and chapter, and a group that said we stand for ________ and then doesn't live up to it AND doesn't care when a chapter blatantly follows the "rules"

[DrPhil]

Sounds like an NPHC, LGLO, MCGLO, etc.

NPC alumnae tend not to use the language used in the OP.

I recommend logging off and figuring this out without a message board. You are not the first person to face such difficulties. You aren't the first person to figure it out without whining on the Internet about it. Research, contact people, and figure it out.

I say this because people who use Internet dramatics including a thread titled "I want out" need to learn there is a way to research and seek guidance for real life concerns minus the attention grabbing Internet dramatics.

Good luck!

[Sen's Revenge]

I really don't know what to say. If there's no university accountability and no sorority accountability, then I don't know how your grievances would get addressed.

[Kevin]

If you have entrenched alumnae leadership, you're playing the long game to get rid of it. If you really think you can make a difference, keep your head down, bide your time. Recruit others to join you who feel the same way you do. One day, you'll be in a position where you can step up as an alumna volunteer and that's when you can make a real difference in this group. I don't think there's a lot of hope for you turning the organization around right now within the limited time you have left.

Change is slow.

If you were a recently pledged member, I might have different advice for you, like try to get on your standards board and try to clean house, but your time is about up and any energy you do want to expend should be at the next stage of your sorority experience. Going to war right now with your alumnae and with your chapter is just going to end up with you on the outside looking in.

[Titchou]

Since most of the people here are NPC or NPHC, not many of us are going to be able to give you any relevant advice. But perhaps someone versed in other GLOs will be able to.

I understand that you are upset as it shows thru in your writing. On that note, I suggest you find the writing lab on your campus and ask for some assistance as you have several of the wrong words used in your post - too/two, since/sense, etc.

[TrueBleu]

Thanks for the advice.

I came here because the GLO operates in "co-opperation with the university." That means we can book a room. If we were not "recognized" as a student organizarion, it would not really matter. We are like an honor society (but a GLO), its really hard for them to catch the issues if our own leaders do not care. If we called the university they would call our HQ, and as long as we send $$$ and people to their events, we are good. so much so that during my pledge period, only 5 people stuck it out. The rest dropped very quickly. The actives told our people that they were all "voted out" on different weeks. A few were "initiated" on paper and they "kicked them out" over two semesters for not "paying dues". Since our Internationals rep saw $$$ and "bodies" there was no reason to question.

[ASUADPi]

TrueBleu, quite honestly why are you sticking it out? You sound like you don't enjoy being a member anymore. You either resign your membership or you see about going alum for the rest of your collegiate years. Why make yourself miserable, which is what you sound like you are.