Need some sisterly advice

HBADPi · #1 11-11-2005, 06:57 PM

So first I need to give you guys some background on the situation. I have a chapter sister we'll call her Sally who I am very close with and was in her wedding last year. She was also on my recent trip to Europe along with her husband Bob and some mutual guy friends Jason, John, and Mike. I love her to pieces and she probably knows me better than anyone else.

Anyways after the bf broke up with me, plans I had for NYE changed and I decided instead of being out in CA miserable I'd fly out to Pittsburgh to visit college friends. Now Mike has this annual reunion up in Butler (for those of you who arent that familar with Pittsburgh its about 40-45 min away if that) and it turns out that this year it fall on Dec 30th. I was invited to go but I hadnt originally planned on being in pittsburgh for that weekend but also wasnt sure I'd find a cheap ticket that would get me in town early enough to go.

So now that I have my ticket and I get in at 5 pm on the 30th and the party starts at 8 I can go. I emailed everyone to tell them and Mike said that I have to come. I called Sally to tell her that I am going and she gives me the run around...Butler is too far away and a bad drive (its off the major highway in Pittsburgh!), how she doesnt know if shes going, how its not that fun, its only a guy thing etc etc. Later on that day I'm talking to Jason and I tell him how Sally said she didnt know if her and Bob are going. He tells me he talked to Bob last week and he had already purchased their tickets to Pittsburgh from Boston and how John was picking them up from the airport and taking them straight to butler. Now I'm a little hurt and I dont know if I'm overreacting...what would make her say that if her husband already purchased their tickets. The only thing I can think of is if she didnt want me to go. These guys were friends of her and Bob before I befriended them but I went on vacation with them and we've hung out before so why is it an issue now??

Thoughts? Suggestions?

honeychile · #2 11-11-2005, 08:36 PM

Could Sally's husband being surprising her?

BTW, what's Bob's last name? If his family was in Butler County before 1850, I'm probably related to him!

HBADPi · #3 11-12-2005, 01:12 AM

No she knows she going we talked about how shes frustrated that he purchased airline tickets when they are already trying to budget so they can purchase their first home.

Bob's last name is Rozic

honeychile · #4 11-12-2005, 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HBADPi
No she knows she going we talked about how shes frustrated that he purchased airline tickets when they are already trying to budget so they can purchase their first home.

Bob's last name is Rozic

Okay, I messed up, I was thinking Bob (who lives in Butler). I could name about 20 names that could possibly connect us.

Knowing that Sally knows changes the whole scenario. If she's so worried about money, I'd make sure that she knew you didn't expect to exchange presents, and that you realize how frustrated she must be, that Bob made ANY arrangements without asking her first. And she does have a right to be upset with that part. But that doesn't excuse her from being rude to you, unless it was the timing - but she really does need to mend a fence or two.

Seriously, you know I'm close by. If you need to be picked up at the airport and taken to Butler, let me know. Of course, my mother would probably want to come along, so she could introduce me to her cousins who I haven't met after dropping you off, but the offer's there. Sisters and all that, don't you know?

HBADPi · #5 11-12-2005, 07:35 PM

Thanks Honey, I mean its obvious I have to talk to her. But I'm just trying to understand why she'd do that. As far as a ride goes, the funny thing is i fly in the same time as Sally and Husband. I talked to John yesterday turns out hes picking them up and happy to pick me up as well.

HBADPi · #6 11-14-2005, 01:25 AM

So not that anyone cares but I needed to vent this. I got off the phone with Sally and I was pretty much told in so many words she doesnt want me there. she continued to play dumb about not knowing what her flight schedule was like and telling me its REALLY cold in butler (as if i havent been to western PA before and Butler is that much colder than the rest of the area). She kept saying I dont know why you want to go they arent your friends, they arent your friends. And I'm thinking to myself hi you introduced me to them whats the big deal you would think youd want all your friends to get along and now youre telling me that I cant hang out with them???? Id hate to think its jealousy or her being territorial but she had to see this coming. Part of me doesnt want to go and cause problems because she obviously doesnt want me there but another part of me is like damnit I have every right to go I was invited!

Thoughts anyone?

honeychile · #7 11-14-2005, 02:12 AM

Psycho-therapy?

For Sally, not you! Sounds like she needs to be the belle of the ball, and is worried about you.

adpiucf · #8 11-14-2005, 05:14 PM

(((hug))) Your friend is being perfectly awful. If she doesn't "want" you there, I think you'd have a better time with other friends-- and you'd be better off cutting your losses. This woman is no "friend."

ASUADPi · #9 11-14-2005, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by adpiucf
(((hug))) Your friend is being perfectly awful. If she doesn't "want" you there, I think you'd have a better time with other friends-- and you'd be better off cutting your losses. This woman is no "friend."

Cosign

((((Noosh)))))

You don't deserve being treated that way by anyone, let alone a sister.

I wish I could give you some sort of advice. I know for me I'd probably still end up going (losing the money from the ticket and what not).

I say if you wanna go, go. Just hang out with Jason, John and Mike.

Oh you could reverse psych her. Treat her with so much kindness, she doesn't know what to do.

(sorry, wanted to try to put a smile on your face)

HBADPi · #10 11-15-2005, 03:10 PM

Thanks guys and I'm still going, my girlfriends and I had planned on spending NYE together in pittsburgh and while I knew of this party that Mike was throwing, it wasnt the main reason I was going and I didnt think I would be able to make it since it is the night before and flights to the east coast either leave early morning or red eye. I was expecting to get a red eye but ended up with the early morning hence me being able to attend Mike's party. Even if I dont go I have plenty of other friends to hang out with and it wont ruin my trip.

What I find somewhat hypocritical is that I have made plans with college friends of mine that were not Sally's friends. When i told her about this she goes 'well am I invited?" I almost wanted to turn around and be like "you dont want me to hang out with the guys because 'they arent my friends' but yet you want to hang out with my friends and theres no problem there?" Argh!

I decided to confront her last night about my hurt feelings and emailed her yesterday morning to tell her i'd call her after work at 5 pm. She said shed be around and not only did she not pick up she never returned my call either!