Volunteering and children

PhiSigmaRho · #1 10-30-2009, 07:41 PM

Have you been in a volunteer position for your sorority after having children? I like helping my sorority, but my DH suggests going more toward donating money or items instead of time. Just wondering how other alumnae balance sorority volunteering with children activities.

FSUZeta · #2 10-30-2009, 07:49 PM

how many hours of volunteer time are you talking about? is it per week, per month, bi-monthly?

lauralaylin · #3 10-31-2009, 01:20 PM

If anything, I've picked up more since becoming a parent, and I didn't even have a "real" job beforehand. I've found that it's helped me mature even more, balance my time better, and I can now do more than I did before. I am usually holding two or three roles at once. But I started child care two mornings a week when DS was about 18 months old (as I work from home a couple of hours a week also), and I started preschool when he was 2. If your child is home all the time, it might be harder as you'd only have naps and night time to get work done.

I just had #2 two weeks ago, so I'm not sure about balancing with more than one child. But with one I was definitely able to do a lot.

Amy Kates · #4 11-01-2009, 03:48 PM

I've volunteered since before I had children and have not stopped. I currently sit on our national council and have two children aged 8 and 10. I've just always made time for it. It's what I do for ME. Everything else I do is for someone else. I enjoy my volunteer work, it fulfills me in ways other activities, including my "real" job do not. That said, I have a very supportive husband and I could not do it if he was not.

DSTRen13 · #5 11-04-2009, 01:42 PM

When I saw the thread title, I thought this would be about volunteering WITH your children. So since I have little cousins, I'm curious - do any of you take your children with you to volunteer projects? What are good projects to do with children?

Senusret I · #6 11-04-2009, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

When I saw the thread title, I thought this would be about volunteering WITH your children. So since I have little cousins, I'm curious - do any of you take your children with you to volunteer projects? What are good projects to do with children?

I am going to continue the hijack because that's also what I thought it was about.

In my APO alumni association, we try hard to have family friendly projects. One that is always a winner is sandwich-making for the homeless and hungry. We buy all the bread, cheese, meat, whatever (or sometimes peanut butter and jelly, and make sandwiches. We then give them to Martha's Table in DC to distribute. Any idiot (or their children) can put cheese and meat on bread.

OPhiAGinger · #7 11-20-2009, 02:29 AM

Continuing the hijack.... I took my then-8-year-old daughter to help with a Special Olympics massive tail-gate party my company sponsored. I thought it would be a great opportunity for us to work together to help another group of people, but I regretted it. She was absolutely not mature enough for that type of event -- kept wanting to know why she couldn't go get something to eat, and telling me it would be much more fun for her to compete in the events. She just didn't get it, no matter how I explained our purpose there that day. {groan} She wound up pouting, and we were both miserable until it was time to leave. Maybe we'll try again in a few years.

And now back to our original programming....

It's true that I had a lot more time to volunteer with my GLO before I had kids, but I feel like I have so much more value to offer now even if my time is limited. While my personal commitments have been growing, my experience, maturity, and skills have been growing, too. I still enjoy volunteering, but I am fairly selective about what I commit to. And I completely agree with Amy. When I choose activities to get involved with, it's my ME time and I make the most of it.

Zillini · #8 11-20-2009, 09:53 AM

Let me be clear that I'm talking about long term "jobs" like being an Advisor, not the occasional showing up to help for say Recruitment. In my experience alums who actively volunteer tend to fall into two categories: those who don't have/started before they had kids and those whose kids are older (say late grade school or older). Very few start when their kids are small.

Those already volunteering often stick with it in some capacity when kids come along. Granted they may cut back on the amount of time they give and may even take on a less active/demanding role, but they stick with it. It's because that commitment is already in place and they merely find a way to manage their time. They do not want the Chapter to suffer by losing a trusted alum who supports them, not to mention they simply enjoy being involved.

However, those who have small kids tend to not want to take on a big new commitment. They may attend the occasional alumnae event, but don't want a long term position until their kids are older and more able to take care of themselves.

As with all things, there are exceptions to the "rule". I'm one of them. I was a member of House Corp before getting pregnant the first time, but wasn't overly active. I took on the larger responsibility of being an Advisor after my daughter was born, at a time when there were no other Advisors and the Chapter was in crisis I might add. It's also worth pointing out that my daughter was born with severe complications that led to severe cerebral palsy.

Why would I do that when my demands at home were so huge? (Looking back it does seem rather crazy.) My reasons were two-fold. First, the Chapter was in dire need of help and no one else was willing or able to step in. There is no doubt the Chapter would have closed. I couldn't just walk away from them and let that happen.

My second reason was selfish or perhaps self preservation is more accurate. With the stress at home I needed something to get me out of the house and take my mind off of things there. I couldn't fix the problems with my daughter, but I could fix the financial problems the Chapter was suffering. It gave me a sense of accomplishment that I sorely needed. I can look back and see that my being active as an Advisor helped me from succumbing to severe depression.

ETA: As for helping a Chapter when kids are small, there are things that can be done to help Mom Advisors. When we have meetings, like Exec Board, we get an active to babysit. When we used a Positive Points system we offered points. (Something else to consider, being active with college girls is a great way to find babysitters!

) When necessary we would even put money in the Chapter budget to cover babysitting costs. We don't want an Advisor to have to take money from her family in order to help with the Chapter.

More than anything though, it takes a very understanding husband and father to be supportive of Mom's work with a Chapter. In my opinion these men do not get nearly enough credit.

Kansas City · #9 11-20-2009, 11:20 PM

It's tough. I started advising a chapter two years ago and now have a 6-month old. The chapter I advise had no alumane support for quite some time when I started so one of my first responsibiities was to put together an advisory council of five alumns. This timing conisided with the birth of my little legacy so it has helped to take some of the pressure off of me. I am however probably still more involved as the primary adviser than any of the other four ladies and (probably silly of me) I committed to serving as the primary for another two years. Something that also helps is that the chapter is relatively strong on campus so my day-to-day involvement can be a bit more hands-off and many tasks are taken care of by phone or email. I sill commit to the four days with overnights for recruitment (the chapter is 100 miles away from home) and make it a point to visit in person about every 6 weeks during the academic year. I definitely would not recommend a new mother take on the responsibility of advising a chapter, especially if the chapter needs lots of attention but as others have said, I was able to still squeeze in volunteer time with a new child and still working full-time. It can be done.

OPhiAGinger · #10 11-21-2009, 02:21 AM

Zillini, I totally get what you're saying about needing that sense of accomplishment and stress relief, given the other challenges that were going on in your life. And I especially agree with your point about the men behind-the-scenes who make it possible for sorority alumnae to give back to their organization like you have done. I love the steps your chapter has taken to make it a little easier for alumnae with small children to continue to volunteer.

Kansas City, my hat is off to you for continuing to serve in such a demanding role now that you have a baby.

Both of your organizations are lucky to have such dedicated alumnae like you who are willing to dedicate their talents and time to help their sorority continue to be successful!

PhiSigmaRho · #11 01-20-2010, 10:33 AM

Thank you for all the personal stories! You are definitely an inspiration. I am leaning toward helping with a housing corporation or an alumnae group, but there are a lot of different volunteer opportunities. I will just have to see what I find interesting and what I have time for.

AGDee · #12 01-22-2010, 10:06 AM

I was really involved as an advisor before I had kids and found it much easier to move up to volunteering on a regional level once I had kids. When you're not so directly involved with one specific chapter, you can do things on your own time. For instance, instead of having to attend 3 hour Executive Board meetings once a month, you get all those reports and read them when you have the time and provide feedback. One has to be done on their time schedule, the other you can do at midnight if that's when you're up with a cranky baby who needs to be in the swing. Same 3 hours work either way, but one is done from your own home on your own time schedule, as long as it gets done.