How are bigs and littles assigned?

KKGal · #1 11-02-2011, 09:59 PM

Hi, all!

My sorority does 'mutual selection' for big/little assignments. Bigs pref 3 littles and littles pref 3 bigs. Our VP-Membership does the best she can to match up bigs and littles.

I was under the impression that if a potential big and a potential little chose each other as first choices that they would be automatically paired.

A new member of my sorority (who joined only because I encouraged her to do so) talked about prefs before filling them out and decided to pref each other.

I was just notified that I was matched with my second choice instead (of course, I love that girl, too!). But I am confused by the big/little selection process. Shouldn't girls who mutually pref each other be paired?

My new member friend sent me a text today saying 'I hope we're matched as big/little!" I feel bad because I don't want her to be disappointed at Big/Lil Rev tomorrow.

What are your thoughts/experiences? I never understood how the selection works (and this is my second little)!

AlphaFrog · #2 11-02-2011, 10:09 PM

Maybe your 2nd choice didn't match with anyone else?

KKGal · #3 11-02-2011, 10:14 PM

That's definitely a possibility. I didn't think of that... So, are there actual rules at your chapters? I was given the strong impression at my chapter that girls who chose each other as #1 prefs were 'guaranteed' to be matched.

KSUViolet06 · #4 11-02-2011, 10:39 PM

This is one of those things that not every chapter does the same way, as you can see in this thread on the same topic:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...hlight=Littles

AlphaFrog · #5 11-02-2011, 10:40 PM

If your chapter has rules for this, they're probably not set in stone like formal recruitment rules...there is more than likely some flexibility.

My chapter only the new members ranked. I got a big that wasn't even on my list, and I found out later that two of the girls on my list (who didn't get littles) weren't even asked to be my big. Still a little bitter about that.

KSUViolet06 · #6 11-02-2011, 11:25 PM

This is how it was done in my chapter (no clue it's done the same or differently now.)

NMs are presented with the list of eligible Bigs. You had to be in good standing (grades, participation points, etc.) and willing to take on the financial responsibility. You didn't have to be on the list if you were eligible, though. For example, if you were a junior and you took Twins during fall and a another Lil in the spring class, you might have asked to NOT be on the list (even though you were eliglble) because you didn't want to take anymore Littles.

NMs lists their top 5 choices for Bigs.

Eligible Bigs listed their top 5 choices for Littles.

The VP matched them up based on their rankings as best as possible. Ex: If Suzy and Sally Sigma are both each other's #1, they are matched.

My chapter also didn't have limitations on which classes could take Littles (some chapters will say that the only eligible Bigs are the class above the NMs) or that no one could have Twins.

We also didn't say that EVERY eligible Big HAD to get a Little Sis. So there were situations where an active would be all "zomg!! how did Suzy get Twins and I didn't get anybody!!!!???" just because no one had that person on their list anywhere. Was there drama with our system sometimes? Sure. But i've worked with chapters using a variety of systems. Some assign based solely on who the Bigs want, some do it totally randomly (like names out of a hat), some say that the class immediately before the NMs are the only ones eligible to take Littles, etc. and there is some drama with ALL of them.

clarinette · #7 11-02-2011, 11:27 PM

We only assign bigs and littles on who the bigs want. If we know ahead of time that a member and potential MIT want to be big and little, and the member is up to be a big, then we try to make that happen. But usually it's just based on who the potential bigs want.

Senusret I · #8 11-02-2011, 11:36 PM

My APO chapter bases it on who the bigs prefer, and who the pledgemaster (and their committee) feel would make the best pairing.

The pledge would not likely know what kind of big they NEED. Hands on, hands off; teacher/mentor or friend/buddy.

I reckon it depends on the kind of pledge process you have, if you have a pledge process.

DeltaBetaBaby · #9 11-02-2011, 11:37 PM

I think that you have to let the NM educator have some kind of flexibility on this one. While it is disappointing to get a big or a little who isn't your first choice, there are other things the NME has to consider. If someone, for example, may be a de-pledging risk, she has to be sure that NM gets paired with a really pro-XYZ big, or maybe there are off-campus pledges who are best paired with women living in the house, or someone, big or little, isn't on anyone's list.

Also, while the big/little relationship is great, nothing says you can't be JUST AS CLOSE to someone who is not officially in your "family". As I've said elsewhere, I was not close with my big, and I'm very close, a decade later, to several other women in the pledge class above mine.

KSUViolet06 · #10 11-03-2011, 12:10 AM

^^^True story. My best friend in the sorority = my house roommate who is 2 classes above me (even though we're the same age.) I was a later joiner. She is in the class I would have hypothetically been in if I'd joined as a 1st semester freshman, if that makes any sense.

jazing · #11 11-03-2011, 12:29 AM

Not exactly sure how sororities do it, but it sounds about the same how we did it. Whoever the PNM educator feels best fits and will help out the PNM, will be the big.

I say PNM because pledges are never new members in my eyes. You work to get to that level.

AOII Angel · #12 11-03-2011, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jazing

Not exactly sure how sororities do it, but it sounds about the same how we did it. Whoever the PNM educator feels best fits and will help out the PNM, will be the big.

I say PNM because pledges are never new members in my eyes. You work to get to that level.

Oh puhleeze! It's just a name, and it's been pretty standard in the NPC for nearly 19 years. Get over it.

KKGal · #13 11-03-2011, 02:06 PM

Thanks for the insights, everyone! :-) I'm very happy with my new little, regardless!

DeltaBetaBaby · #14 11-03-2011, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KKGal

Thanks for the insights, everyone! :-) I'm very happy with my new little, regardless!

Your attitude is a good one. I hope your expected little wasn't too disappointed.

33girl · #15 11-03-2011, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jazing

Not exactly sure how sororities do it, but it sounds about the same how we did it. Whoever the PNM educator feels best fits and will help out the PNM, will be the big.

I say PNM because pledges are never new members in my eyes. You work to get to that level.

Then just say pledge like the rest of us old farts do without getting on your soapbox about it. The "P" is for potential, and once you sign a bid, well, you're beyond potential. Unless you want to call them "PBs" (potential brothers).