Sorority is imploding

frangiblefacade · #1 09-16-2011, 01:46 AM

So, I recently transferred schools and joined a NPC sorority on campus. However, at my old school I used to be a part of a local sorority. Recently I have been hearing some really bad stuff going on in the local, and would love to give them some insight.

In the last year at least 8-9 people have quit, and for a small chapter (20-30 girls) that is a huge portion. A few of these people were seniors/juniors, but some were recently initiated members. All of them had different reasons for quitting, ranging from wanting to join NPC sororities, to being too busy with other obligations. However, one underlying reason I have discovered (and witnessed myself while I was active) was that there was simply too much unnecessary drama. Some of this drama was due to people in power overstepping their boundaries, and some of it was just girl disputes. Either way, there is a major problem.

Rush is this week for them, and from what I hear it isn't going great. I know that if there is a small pledge class, the drama will only get worse as people will be stressed and possibly start playing the blame game about who was responsible for the small pledge class.

Also, since the sorority was founded less than 10 years ago, the constitution and bylaws have constantly been changing and growing, but are nowhere near complete. Unfortunately, I have also heard NO changes were made in the past year (which is the period that I have been gone from the chapter). This includes changes that were voted on a year ago and passed (but somehow never made it into the paper copy of the constitution/bylaws).

Basically, things suck. Does anyone have any advice they could give to me (that I could pass along to them if they are willing to hear it) regarding how to control drama, BASIC things that should be in a constitution/bylaws, and/or simple things that can help this chapter grow and succeed? I already plan on sending them "I <3 Recruitment" but that isn't the only problem in the chapter. I know that since I am no longer there, what I say to them won't necessarily be heard, and you guys may think it's even silly that I am asking for your help, but I still care about the chapter and wish them well.

Any chapter operations/drama control advice, no matter how simple, would be super appreciated. I just know that if nothing changes, this sorority is going to cease to exist n the next year or so. Also, sorry this post was so long.

DubaiSis · #2 09-16-2011, 05:32 AM

My advice to you is stay out of it. You're no longer a member of that sorority and your input will only cause more drama. I'm sure it is frustrating to sit and watch from the sidelines, but that is really the only choice you have.

Be a friend to the girls who want to vent but DON'T try to solve their problems - again, feeding the drama. Saying things like mmmhmmmm, oh, I see, really? is as far into is as you should go.

I hope it works out for them, but this may just be the lifecycle of this local.

33girl · #3 09-16-2011, 11:18 AM

I know it sucks really badly to see this happen, but in the position you're in - not at school PLUS having joined an NPC - giving them advice might actually ramp up the drama even more.

Every sorority has drama. Small chapters especially. You fight as hard as you love and love as hard as you fight. However, when it gets to the point that people are quitting, either they aren't getting the second part of that equation, or they're using "drama" as a convenient excuse.

Does the sorority participate in rush with Panhel at that school and follow all the other Panhellenic rules (especially the alcohol and risk management ones)? If so, the fact that people are quitting to join an NPC shows that the sorority isn't regarded as a "real" group, by the school OR by the people who join. There are other schools with local/national mixes where the girls would no more think of quitting a local and joining a national than they would of quitting one NPC and joining another.

If the group wants to stay around as a local, they need to assert themselves as a full member of Panhellenic and behave accordingly. If the NPC groups have alcohol free events, they need to do the same. Yes, it kind of sucks, but it goes a LONG way towards the sort of mutual respect you want from the other groups. Speaking of mutual respect, they also shouldn't accept women into membership who have disaffiliated from an NPC group.

I don't know if any of this applies, but my point is that it sounds like the group itself needs fixing to attract members. The ones who are there, are there. If they're drama queens, it is what it is.

frangiblefacade · #4 09-16-2011, 05:16 PM

Alright, thanks everyone. I wasn't sure if I should stay out of it or not.

33girl, the local does not participate in rush with panhel, and there are some reasons for doing so, but I'm not sure I should say for the sake of keeping the group anonymous. I totally agree with the other things you are saying about the group needing to change to attract members, but I guess it's not my place anymore to tell them that.

Thanks for the advice guys. Staying out of it will be tough, but I guess it's for the best, even if the group falls apart :-/

33girl · #5 09-16-2011, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frangiblefacade

33girl, the local does not participate in rush with panhel, and there are some reasons for doing so, but I'm not sure I should say for the sake of keeping the group anonymous. I totally agree with the other things you are saying about the group needing to change to attract members, but I guess it's not my place anymore to tell them that.

Is it a social/service sorority? Might dual membership (in the sorority and an NPC) be a possibility?

Not trying to out you at all, if you want to go into more detail but not on here PM me.

frangiblefacade · #6 09-17-2011, 01:08 AM

It isn't the local that has problems with dual membership (in fact, we've had past members be a part of our local and other locals/sisterhoods on campus), it's some of the NPC groups that have problems with it. They may not officially have problems with it, but from what I have heard, one of the groups that some of our ex-members have joined frowned upon being in both.

33girl · #7 09-17-2011, 12:03 PM

That happens. There are Alpha Phi Omega members/chapters who give brothers the skunk eye if they join a social Greek org (even though there's nothing against it and even though the majority of APO's founders were social Greeks). Back in the day, there were fraternities who wouldn't let their little sisters be in sororities.

All I can say is, it shows you where people's priorities are. If a sister of the local group joins an NPC and lets their disapproval get to her to the point that she drops membership in the local, then, good riddance. Her heart probably wasn't fully in it to begin with.

frangiblefacade · #8 09-17-2011, 10:51 PM

Honestly from things I have heard, some people have practically been bullied out of the local sorority because other members were simply being too mean :-/ It's really sad to hear that this is happening and knowing that I can't really be there to do anything about it.

ZTAngel · #9 09-18-2011, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TPA85

qfp

Why?

TPA85 · #10 09-18-2011, 11:00 AM

Because airing dirty laundry never ends well.

frangiblefacade · #11 09-18-2011, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TPA85

Because airing dirty laundry never ends well.

While I'm pretty sure that no one in that local reads greekchat, even if they did, they kind of have bigger fish to fry right now than me asking for advice regarding their situation. If you have a problem with me posting this information, why bother responding?

ASTalumna06 · #12 09-18-2011, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TPA85

Because airing dirty laundry never ends well.

There's a difference between airing dirty laundry, and asking for advice when a chapter is in trouble.

Nothing has been posted to identify the school or sorority, so I'm not seeing a problem here.

TPA85 · #13 09-18-2011, 02:11 PM

There ya go. It's unquoted now.

Everyone just breathe.

DrPhil · #14 09-18-2011, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TPA85

There ya go. It's unquoted now.

Everyone just breathe.

You should've left it quoted. People delete posts all of the time and those of us who missed the OP don't know what people are responding to.

To go along with someone in the "what do you feel like saying" thread, you could've left it quoted but instead of "QFP" found a way to respond to the topic. The "QFP" line tends to only work when more than one person thinks the thread will not end well. This is obviously not one of those threads--although I believe that most topics brought to GC are best handled without GC opinions.

ZTAngel · #15 09-18-2011, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

The "QFP" line tends to only work when more than one person thinks the thread will not end well. This is obviously not one of those threads--although I believe that most topics brought to GC are best handled without GC opinions.

Exactly. I didn't see anything wrong with the OP's post. It seems like more and more that people are using QFP just to be assholes to newbie GCers.