Sisters defending pledges over sisters

tamba · #1 11-08-2001, 01:16 PM

Sisters defending pledges over sisters?
Recently my chapter has been having problems because sisters are defending pledges over other sisters b/c the pledges had a problem with what some of the sisters did to them during a pledge event. How can we teach the pledges to respect sisterhood if sisters don't respect each other over PLEDGES?? What can I do about this problem?? Its tearing my chapter apart.....

MoxieGrrl · #2 11-08-2001, 01:21 PM

Hmm......could you be a little more specific?

lovelyivy84 · #3 11-08-2001, 01:27 PM

YEah, what did they do exactly? Pledging is pledging, but there is a line...

SigmaChiCard · #4 11-08-2001, 01:41 PM

you could read up on the founding of sigma chi. that might help out a little bit, if you reconsider if those sisters should back their sisters because of the sisterhood, or if they should make the right decision because of who they are.

lovelyivy84 · #5 11-08-2001, 02:11 PM

Just wanted to note that I always think that loyalty to your Sisters is key. The situation you describe is almost unthinkable to me, so my question becomes, what could have possibly been so bad as to make them take the pledges side????

PenguinTrax · #6 11-08-2001, 02:15 PM

It sounds like the pledges felt they were hazed and the initiated members that did not participate in this event feel the same way. New members won't respect (and shouldn't be expected to respect) initiated sisters that take advantage of them and treat them poorly.

New members are the future of any organization - treat them well and your organization will thrive. Treat them poorly and your organization will suffer. It's that simple.

AchtungBaby80 · #7 11-08-2001, 02:25 PM

I agree with everyone who said that it's really important to stay loyal to your initiated sisters, but don't forget that the pledges are the future of your chapter. They're the ones who will keep your chapter alive when you're not there anymore so you can't afford to alienate them. It's always sort of awkward in the beginning once a new pledge class comes in because everyone is still getting to know one another and there is the tendency for the pledges to stick together and the initiates to do the same, but try to make it so that everyone isn't divided. You are all members of the same sisterhood, and just let the pledges know that you are excited to have them as your potential sisters. BUT, if they're the ones causing trouble and they don't respond to your friendly overtures, I guess you'd say, then don't be afraid to talk to them as a group and tell them that the situation needs to change. Sorry this isn't Ann Landers-calibre advice, but I don't know the whole story! I wish you luck, though!

greeklawgirl · #8 11-08-2001, 02:25 PM

I would need more specific information to give my opinion in your situation, but I don't necessarily have a problem with sticking up for pledges rather than sisters.

IMO, if I see a sister doing something wrong, I'm going to take the time to correct her...and I hope that they would do the same for me. If the pledges have a legitimate complaint, you can bet your bottom dollar that I would go to bat for them.

Trust me, your pledges will respect the sisterhood a lot more if they see the sisters doing the RIGHT thing instead of doing nothing because of a misplaced sense of loyalty.

Eirene_DGP · #9 11-08-2001, 03:16 PM

Whoa, this is really interesting. We had this same problem this semester, but it was due to a break down in communication. Sisters would tell pledges one thing, knowing stuff is done a certain way according to tradition. If I had it to do all over again, I would have a meeting with sisters only and discuss inside stuff and how things were to be handled and not deviate from it. Sometimes you need to know when to stand your ground and when to back off. I agree with a lot of the other posts, as the pledges are the future of the organization, but we will be sisters for life and pledges may come and go.

tamba · #10 11-08-2001, 03:36 PM

I won't get into the details of exactly what went on, but it was an event that is meant to be FUN for the girls, to build their bond, and it is an event that the last 4 pledge classes (at least)have ALL done.....tradition is important right? Don't the pledges have to learn to respect tradition? It is really a case of these pledges disagreeing with our pledge period (which does not haze compared to most chapters of our sorority around the country as far as our friends in those other chapters tell us) and my problem is that if most sisters feel strongly about keeping that tradition alive, how can some sisters go against them IN FRONT OF THE PLEDGES no less, and defend the pledges, who have so blatantly shown no respect for the traditions of our sorority?

The pledges were actually yelling at the sisters even after they apolgized to them for the misunderstanding, telling them they were liars and malicious....which is SUCH an over-reaction, and the other sisters did not stand up for their sisters but instead totally defended the pledges.

Tom Earp · #11 11-08-2001, 05:05 PM

Plain and simple, the pledges are not initiated members and if they do not like the program, then they can leave. They do not run the organization and last I heard in most Orgs, it can take one NO VOTE to send them on their way!

BrianMUDU · #12 11-08-2001, 06:46 PM

Tradition can be good if it is good thing. Some chapters have a tradition that is hazing, and that isn't a good thing.

PenguinTrax · #13 11-08-2001, 09:11 PM

It may be true that the last 4 new member groups participated in this same activity and didn't complain, but now someone is, which is a problem and it means that your chapter needs to reevaluate this activity.

I'd say that if the sisters that are siding with the new members are among those that experienced this activity in the past, they probably felt the same way as the new members do now, but were to afraid to say anything about it back then.

If this activity is local and is not in keeping with your national's new member program, drop it. And even if other chapters of your organization haze worse than you do, that's not a good reason to justify your chapter to hazing less.

There is no reason for hazing. Period.

CrucialCrimson · #14 11-08-2001, 09:58 PM

Even in a situation where I observe something that runs afoul of the pledge process, I have never had cross words or openly disagreed with a soror in front of a pyramid - I would do what I could to bring the session to an end, have the pyramids leave and speak with my soror afterwards.

Hootie · #15 11-08-2001, 10:38 PM

First of all I strongly agree with PnguinTrax! Listen to her beccause she KNOWS what she's talking about.
Furthermore, you are still rushing these girls after they've signed their bid card. Just because they're pledging doesn't mean they have to stay. You should enlighten them to why they've mad the right choice and do everything in your power to make them feel comfortable, accepted and loved. Hazing is not a part of that (not assuming you hazed, just mentioning it).
Also, if your chapter is torn on the issue then it needs to discuss it in private. Your officers should lead a discussion with your advisors present and what is talked about (feelings) should be kept within the initiated members. If something terrible happened then the appropriet actions need to be taken, and unfrotunately that might mean some of your sisters will be punished and your chapter MIGHT have to decide what their stance is. It's not a matter of turning your back on your sister if they are punished - It's a matter of doing the right thing and helping them understand what it is they did wrong.
As for the new members, get their opinions on the subject and how it made them feel. If there is an overwhelming majority that felt something bad happened then you need to side with them. They are the future of your chapter and they would have no reason to lie.
Just some food for thought!
Good Luck and I hope things get better~

Hootie