COB advice for a previous rushee, please

GiantsChic · #1 04-20-2002, 02:08 AM

Hey guys, it's me again... I've posted before about my fall 2001 rush experience, and then again for my rush spring 2002 experience... both times, i ended up suiciding and not receiving a bid... it was a hard time for me (both times), but I felt like i've dealt with it all pretty well... so, i also recently wrote about considering rushing again this fall, but i've had some reservations about it... mainly because i'm scared of the rejection (again)... i really want to be part of a sorority, especially one that i like and fit well with, but the whole rushing part is difficult... anyways, i have a new question... i may have the opportunity to go to a COB party at a house that i liked, but never preffed... i would like to go to the COB party and see how it all goes, hoping that the girls would get to know me on a better level, but i'm scared of what they'll think of me because i didn't join a house either semester year, and what happens if i don't receive a bid and decide to rush in the fall? it would be my 4th time visiting that house... i'm just really confused and could use any words of advice/encouragement you guys can offer... i really appreciate it

sweetie adpi · #2 04-20-2002, 08:21 AM

this past winter during formal recruitment, we took an incredibly enthusiastic, fun, dedicated, loyal new sister - that happened to be a junior - and happened to have been through rush about three times... the first time she decided not to go anywhere - didn't sign her bid card... the second through fall informal - she thought she knew where she'd go and didn't get a bid (they took a really small class so she rushed again in the winter), and the third she suicided the same place and didn't go anywhere cause she heard they thought she was 'too old' or whatnot. all the while she had been friends with quite a few of our sisters, but hadn't considered us b/c we hadn't rushed her as hard as the other group (strange, huh? lapse on our part :/ ). so this past fall we started to invite her to casual sisterhood events, and just hang out with her and we ran her out with our new alpha class this winter. i'm so happy to have her as a sister, and i know that she says she fits in and feels more comfortable with us than she ever did rushing the other sorority - and she had been afraid at first before she got her bid that we didn't want her cause she hadn't preffed us, etc, before! ha! we were able to recognize how special she is... and because she's older, she knows how the greek system works, wasn't intimidated at all and has already made an impact with our chapter, taking on leadership roles - and recruiting already for fall informal rush

don't let an opportunity to become a part of a great sisterhood pass you by. don't worry what anyone thinks of you. be confident in who you are and what you want and i'm sure that someday you will be a wonderful asset to that special sisterhood.

carnation · #3 04-20-2002, 08:23 AM

Go for it! This sorority probably doesn't know that you suicided and didn't get a bid and may not know about your open rush either. A lot of this information is known only by the Panhellenic advisor. Don't even talk to them about past rush--just concentrate on getting to know them and their sorority!

cash78mere · #4 04-20-2002, 11:32 AM

i say go for it!

most of the girls will probably not even know your history...unless you tell them! focus on meeting the girls themselves and don't worry about what happened in the past. they meet so many people that there's NO WAY they can remember each individual person's story.

let us know how it turns out! best of luck!

GiantsChic · #5 04-20-2002, 04:09 PM

thank you guys so much for replying! i really do appreciate it... for rush here at my school, we have to fill out an application that asks us if we've rushed before, and where and when... all the sororities get a copy of this application, so they will know that i've rushed before... they'll also have seen me twice before... i was also concered about the whole suiciding thing... would it look bad to them that i did suicide? i don't know if i'd rather them think that i did suicide or didn't receive a bid, or that i just didn't receive a bid from anybody? Of course if they ask, i'll tell them that i suicided, but i guess i'm just trying to understand how they look at things and what would you all think? I really appreciate all of your advice, thank you so much

josh8o · #6 04-20-2002, 05:20 PM

Go for it!!! By the way, what house are you going to?

mmcat · #7 04-20-2002, 07:06 PM

but remember you are a beautiful, talented person with or without a sorority. do not let the situation bring you down.
mmcat

carnation · #8 04-20-2002, 10:52 PM

They shouldn't know you suicided unless someone in the sorority you didn't list says that they offered you a bid but you didn't get one.

LeslieAGD · #9 04-21-2002, 12:47 PM

As usual, I say: Go for it!

Just remember to keep an open mind.

GiantsChic · #10 04-22-2002, 05:36 PM

hey guys, well... i talked to one of the girls in the house (e-mail) and found out that they are having COB parties in may, and for me to contact her again at the beginning of May for the dates and times, etc... I'm a little nervous, seeing as how i don't really know anyone in the house, so won't really have someone "pulling" for me... i'm also a little nervous about what they're going to think about me, and the fact that i rushed twice already... have any of you guys been in this situation or know of anybody who has? I know that this sounds much more laid back, which is good- but they said spring rush was gonna be laid back, and although it was better than fall rush, it was still a little hectic... thank you guys for listening and offering advice/support

aggieAXO · #11 04-22-2002, 11:52 PM

I bet there are girls in the chapter that you are talking about that have suicided before also-you would be surprised. It is not as uncommon as you would think. Out of my group of 4 friends that rushed with me-3 of them suicided a certain house. I don't think it makes you look bad IMO. I say go for it!

Glitter650 · #12 04-23-2002, 01:59 AM

OK as someone who just joined during informal fall recruitment.. I'm curious... what is suicide ?? I'm not familar with this term.. my school isn't a very competitive greek wise.. (we don't have any house that like EVERYONE wants or have too many people for the spots available) so I don't think its like a needed thing on my campus if it is what I think it is.. but I would just like a definition..

Thanks

LeslieAGD · #13 04-23-2002, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Glitter650
OK as someone who just joined during informal fall recruitment.. I'm curious... what is suicide ?? I'm not familar with this term.

Suicide, or "Intentional Single Preference," means to put down only one sorority on a Formal Recruitment Bid Card.

Glitter650 · #14 04-23-2002, 12:36 PM

Thanks LeslieAGD =) that's not exactly what I thought...so now I know

dzsaigirl · #15 04-23-2002, 02:07 PM

Okay, I have said this before. This is why you do not suicide! I am all for you going through informal recruitment though (COB). If anyone is intent upon a certain sorority and wouldn't be happy anywhere else, it is better to do informal since you can pick and choose houses to go to. Of course, the stronger houses don't always have COB on all campuses (however on my campus and many others, even the strongest sororities always do informal and formal since people are graduating during both semesters, leaving open spots). Long story short, COB might just be the solution for you! I hope things work out. Just be yourself and make friends. That's my best advice.

(Does this make anyone else excited that it is only about 3 months until the fall rush stories???

)