Impressions

[Teresa2000]

Hello, I am new here. I usually just read the messages but today I felt that it was necessary to post one of my own. I have been interested in Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority ever since I was a little girl. However, I recently began (last year) attending some events and was surprised by the unfriendly attitudes of the sisters. I tried to start a conversation with several of the women present however, however I was given sidelong glances and basically treated like a lepar. Moreover, I was further discouraged when the sisters huddled into a corner and began whispering, laughing and pointing at the other interested women. Since then, I have noticed a utter lack of interest in or civility towards interested women. I don't understand why this chapter behaves as though they are not interested in new members and that they are too good to be friendly. I'm still interested in the organization as a whole, but I must say that I am somewhat disheartened by this chapters behavior. Could someone please respond with some advice as how I can deal with this problem. Also, would someone also please tell me why these women feel that they cannot be friendly.
Thanks,
Teresa2000

[Stunning Jade]

Hello Teresa. I am sorry to hear that some of my sorors were unfriendly and distant towards you. Don't be discouraged by them. If you really want something then nobody can get in your way. Sometimes when people already have something that you want they feel more powerful and in control. You can either persue this particular chapter or locate another one. Good luck.

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We will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of your friends. - Martin L. King Jr.

[SkeeBunny]

Just a side note to what my Soror Stunning Jade has already told you:

If you are pursuing membership at the undergraduate level, then your only means of gaining membership is through the chapter at your school. However, if you have decided that this chapter will not best suit your needs, you may want to consider waiting until you graduate to join a grad chapter. But, as many Sorors have stated and restated on this forum, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority is larger than any individual chapter.

Good luck.

[This message has been edited by SkeeBunny (edited September 20, 2000).]

[ridiculous2000]

I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU A LITTLE ADVICE. YOU MAY WANT TO LOOK INTO SOME OTHER ORGANIZATIONS. IT IS SAID TO SAY THAT I TOO ENCOUNERED THIS SAME THING. IT IS SAD TO SAY THAT SOME (NOT ALL) HAD BAD ATTITUDES AND I WAS NOT WILLING TO TOLERATE IT. JUST DON'T LIMIT YOUR OPTIONS.

[Teresa2000]

I would like to thank you all for your wonderful responses. I will continue to persue my present course of action however I am also concerned with the fact that I am a senior this year. Do you think that me being a senior would discourage the chapter from inviting me to pledge?

-Teresa

[AKAtude]

Your status as a senior should not hinder your attempt to gain membership.

[darling1]

Members,

I hope you don't mind me offering advice to my sisterfriend here...

Teresa,

I have been interested in becoming a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated for a very long time. Before I transferred to the school that I am at now, I encountered members of a City Chapter that were about business. They were positive women, and very nice to me and the other interested ladies. In fact, when I went to the informational they had, I was soooo excited it took me hours to calm down . My mother thought I went insane...lol. Although I was unable to pursue membership, I remained VERY GOOD friends with the president of the chapter until I transferred. At my new school, things were very different and I am sorry to say that many of the women were not very pleasant and at times a little condescending toward myself and other interested ladies. At first I was taken aback and thought about not doing it at all but I kept in mind that I am joining the organization not just the chapter. I just smiled and moved on. Things have changed alot at my school but people are people and you just go with the flow. Stay encouraged!!!!!!!

[AKAtude]

And suppose she encounters the same or very similar attitude with another organization? Should she then proceed to her third choice?
However, Teresa pointed out that she has been interested in AKA since childhood. A sincere love and interest in an organization for that lenght of time simply does not vanish overnight.

Teresa,
I, too, am sorry for the behavior some of my sorors have displayed. I must echo what Soror Stunning Jade has said: Don't be discouraged! If AKA is what you really and truly want, don't allow them to be the cause of you changing your mind. You could one day be the one person who brings about a change within that chapter. If you do decide to obtain membership through this chapter and become a member, lead by example and make a difference. Good luck!

[PositivelyAKA]

i must piggy back off of my soror's previous comments. there are arrogant and mean women in EVERY sorority, i have met them. these women get their self esteem from their letters sad to say. remember organizations are made up of people and people are FLAWED. all of us have things we could and should change in our characters. I agree with soror AKAtude that if one is really sincere about membership with a particular organization then they would not go to their second choice just because that chapter seems more friendly, what if women from another chapter not affiliated with your school or a new set of members the following year are not so friendly, then what? run away again. break the pledge you made to the sorority? again AKA is bigger then the chapter at your school.

[Talaxe]

I have to agree with what the members said. The organization is larger than one chapter or one person. Some people have something that others want and they decide to treat them in a not so sisterly way. I've been there. I just keep saying to myself, there's more to AKA than so-and-so and I KNOW that I possess the qualities that the sorority is looking for in a candidate. There are tons of other chapters. I've decided to pursue on the graduate level because of the pettiness that is expressed by SOME of the members. It only takes one rotten apple to make the entire bunch look bad. Good luck.

[AKA_Monet]

But Sorors:

How do we stop this insanity toward non-members and unaffiliates? It's insane! Especially if an undergraduate chapter is at risk of dissolution because of lack of membership!

I have heard it all as to the reasons why some of us like to be prissy and sididity (sp.). But if your chapter ain't rollin' in a 300+ rush with at least 200 girls having grades and 100 are legacies then why seriously trip on interests? I could see if you can do an instachapter--just add water. But if you are 5 deep and 4 of you are graduating... How you gonna be disrespectful no matter how ignorant the interest's question is?

Teresa2000:

You have got to remember, like I have told many interests, that you would think that folks at the university have matured beyond their teenage years and yet they still remain steadfast in their intimidation. When I was an interest, I was so intimidated that I was shaking and quivering with fear, but I continued my pursuit and achieved my goal for AKA-dom.

Intimidation aside, you have to KNOW your comfort zone and maintain your self integrity. If you are insecure, membership into any organization is going to stress you out--even if you desire it the most. You have KNOW who you are and be comfortable about yourself and you HAVE to be confident. Because in all actuality, in the "real world" the big boysdo it too! Human resources does it too. Professors do it too! Graduate/professional schools do it all the time. So what better time to work on breaking down your barriers than now? Are you going to let someone tell you what your level is? Are you that easily discouraged? Then go for your ultimate dreams!

Just my $0.08 cents worth

[Lil' bit]

I would just like to piggy back off of my Sorors. Do not allow a select few individuals to discourage you if you are an interest. As one Soror stated, we are all human and we are all women. And with that comes many different kinds of women. No one is perfect. if you have been interested in Alpha Kappa Alpha since a child, then why, because of an incident, let that deter you from what you want. If I did that, I would not be an Alpha Kappa Alpha woman today. If I did that with several things I would not be where I am today. Always perservere. Always work hard for what you want. And if one can just turn to their "second" choice, because of a not so pleasant incident, then, maybe Alpha Kappa Alpha wasn't as deep in their hearts as they thought. And maybe they need to really do some soul searching on what it is they really want. Alpha Kappa Alpha is more than just one chapter or a few women.

[AKAtude]

Soror AKA_Monet,

I understand what you are saying, however, if a chapter only has five sorors and four will be graduating, does that mean we should accept people just because the chapter needs members? I always hear the expression that it is "quality, not quantity" that we are after.

Now, I fully agree with you that sorors in this particular situation shouldn't trip on interests like this, especially if they are well qualified candidates. Yes, sometimes they may not know any better and ask things they should not ask, "but ignorance is no excuse for the law." Even though there were greeks in my family, there was still a lot I did not know. So, when I was in doubt I kept my mouth shut. Simply by observing allowed me to learn so much.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by AKAtude:
does that mean we should accept people just because the chapter needs members? I always hear the expression that it is "quality, not quantity" that we are after.

Soror AKAtude,

You are right about the quality, not the quantity issue. And who is doing the judging here? If I am living unrighteously, what right do I have to assess a righteous interest's quality? (BTW, I try to live my life as righteous as I can make it). But you have to ask, are all of our sorors living a life of personal quality?

"but ignorance is no excuse for the law." ...when I was in doubt I kept my mouth shut. Simply by observing allowed me to learn so much.

Yes, your correct that ignorance is no excuse for the law and one ought to think before they speak. As you are well aware, you probably had good "home-training". Then you know that not every interest has that exposure and needs some "role model" to uplift her...

Sure, let these girls fulfill another sorority's need. And our younger sorors may have to be reminded that some girls may lack qualities because of their home-training. If the parents didn't know, how can we expect the girls to know "r ight off the bat"? Do we sorors have that right to penalize interests because of that? Or rather give them a chance to learn from their mistakes? Then, if they choose to maintain their current course, then their qualities can be used by someone else...