Advice? I'm new

[Ggirl617]

(sorry this might be a little long!)Hey everyone I just registered like a second ago, but I've been reading through some threads and was wondering if you guys could take the time to give me a little advice about my situation. I'm not suure how specific I'm allowed to be with names of actual schools or sororities, so for the benefit of the doubt, I just won't say. K here goes lol

I am a sophmore at my school (i'ts the first semester of this year obviously). There are seven sororities at my school, only three of which I would actually want to be in (I base this on the girls I have met, who I'm friends with in the sororities, their reputations, etc etc).

When I was a freshman, there was formal recruitment in the fall for all grades. Now, I'm a sophmore and they've changed the rule to informal in the fall for soph, jun, and seniors, and formal in the spring for everyone. I rushed in the fall of my freshman year, and when it got to pref night, I didn't want either of the two sororities I had left, so I dropped. I rushed again about a month ago, and dropped after the first parties, because I didn't get the ones I wanted.

I don't think I am going to stay at this school however (i don't like it for reasons unrelated to greek life). The current plan is finishing this semester, taking the spring semester off, and then going to a new school in fall 2009.

However, I still really want to be in a sorority! I want to rush at my new school, but I don't know if I should do anything different than before, etc. I'm just confused and don't know if I want to do it again, and I don't want to go through not getting my first choices again, because that hurts, and why would I want to join a sorority i didn't love? Are the sororities going to look down on me because I've already rushed or am not a freshman? Do I say I'm a junior or still a sophmore?

Everyone has probably asked this a million times, I just don't know what to think. Any advice?

[princesspeach]

I would advise you to try rush at your new school, and if you are offered a bid to any sorority, accept it. If you go through the new member period and still don't like it, then drop out before initiation. I didn't get one of my top choices when I went through rush, but I accepted my bid and I LOVE my sorority. Plus, since you will be a junior this might be your last chance to get a bid at all.

[KSUViolet06]

Check out this thread, it has alot of advice in it:

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=54403

Here's my advice. Yes, it may sound a tad harsh, but I'm being honest:

It's a big waste of time to go through recruitment if you only want to be in a select few sororities. Really. Ask yourself why it is that out of all the sororities at your school, you only want to be in 2 or 3 of them.

You really never know which sorority you could be happy in. Look around the recruitment stories here on GreekChat. Girls REGULARLY get cut by their favorites, but they keep going. If every girl who got cut by a chapter she liked quit recruitment, sororities wouldn't have any members.

Alot of people don't get their first choice in recruitment, but they choose to give the sorority that bid them a chance, and they end up loving it. You have to give sororities a chance if you want a good chance to be a part of Greek Life.

You say you really want to be in a sorority and you want the friendships and such. Think about it, you had the chance to be part of a sorority twice. As long as you're dead set on certain groups (for whatever reasons), you're bound to experience disappointment.

At whatever school you end up going to, try to be open-minded about all sororities during recruitment. If this school is one where non-freshmen are at a disadvantage, it's not a good idea to write sororities off during the recruitment process, since your options are already potentially limited.

On your other questions, whether being a junior matters or not depends on the school you're transfering to. There are some schools where juniors really have no chance at all, and there are others where juniors regularly go through and get bids. And you needn't be concerned about what to "say" you are, because if you register for recruitment, the sororities will see your class standing so they'll know what year you're in.

Best of luck to you.

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

(sorry this might be a little long!)Hey everyone I just registered like a second ago, but I've been reading through some threads and was wondering if you guys could take the time to give me a little advice about my situation. I'm not suure how specific I'm allowed to be with names of actual schools or sororities, so for the benefit of the doubt, I just won't say. K here goes lol

I am a sophmore at my school (i'ts the first semester of this year obviously). There are seven sororities at my school, only three of which I would actually want to be in (I base this on the girls I have met, who I'm friends with in the sororities, their reputations, etc etc).

You're setting yourself for disappointment if you can't even keep an open mind. Over the years, we've seen PNMs consider only one or two houses instead of ALL of them, only to be disappointed on Bid Day. Reputations don't mean crap. Your friends and girls you know in sororities do not have control over whether or not you get that bid.

When I was a freshman, there was formal recruitment in the fall for all grades. Now, I'm a sophmore and they've changed the rule to informal in the fall for soph, jun, and seniors, and formal in the spring for everyone. I rushed in the fall of my freshman year, and when it got to pref night, I didn't want either of the two sororities I had left, so I dropped. I rushed again about a month ago, and dropped after the first parties, because I didn't get the ones I wanted.

I don't think I am going to stay at this school however (i don't like it for reasons unrelated to greek life). The current plan is finishing this semester, taking the spring semester off, and then going to a new school in fall 2009.

Do yourself and the sororities a favor. Don't rush if you're going to transfer next Fall.

However, I still really want to be in a sorority! I want to rush at my new school, but I don't know if I should do anything different than before, etc. I'm just confused and don't know if I want to do it again, and I don't want to go through not getting my first choices again, because that hurts, and why would I want to join a sorority i didn't love? Are the sororities going to look down on me because I've already rushed or am not a freshman? Do I say I'm a junior or still a sophmore?

Everyone has probably asked this a million times, I just don't know what to think. Any advice?

No one here can say for sure if the sororities will look down on you because you rushed at another campus because the info you've provided is vague and general. It all depends on what your campus is like. At some campuses, being an upperclassman is no big deal. At others, you don't have a prayer.

If you think you can handle another round of possible disappointment, rush.
If not, don't.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I'm not sure how specific I'm allowed to be with names of actual schools or sororities, so for the benefit of the doubt, I just won't say.

You're allowed to say whatever you want. Discretion is just a recommendation. Start dates and numbers of chapters are a good way to give away the school. Saying your region and general size (small, medium, large) of the Greek community is usually ok.

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I am a sophmore at my school (it's the first semester of this year obviously). There are seven sororities at my school, only three of which I would actually want to be in (I base this on the girls I have met, who I'm friends with in the sororities, their reputations, etc etc).

I wonder how honest you are being with yourself. The chapters you wanted rejected you twice. Any idea why?

Honestly, I think out of the 14 chapters at my school, I would only have fit in 4 of them. However, these 4 all invited me to preference, and I joined one of them. I was honest with myself about where I fit and the chapters felt the same way.

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

When I was a freshman, there was formal recruitment in the fall for all grades. Now, I'm a sophmore and they've changed the rule to informal in the fall for soph, jun, and seniors, and formal in the spring for everyone. I rushed in the fall of my freshman year, and when it got to pref night, I didn't want either of the two sororities I had left, so I dropped. I rushed again about a month ago, and dropped after the first parties, because I didn't get the ones I wanted.

I don't know if you realized that at many schools, sophomores do not have as many options as freshmen. Since you dropped after the first round, the chapters you wanted may have cut you because you are a sophomore. You really have to ask yourself if you want to go Greek or have certain letters. Not to say that you should join any chapter for the sake of going Greek, but you sound like you're not giving any other chapters a chance and that is your loss.

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I don't think I am going to stay at this school however (i don't like it for reasons unrelated to greek life). The current plan is finishing this semester, taking the spring semester off, and then going to a new school in fall 2009.

Well, maybe it's a good thing that you didn't get a bid, because joining and then transferring can cause a lot of woes. Your new school may not have a chapter of your sorority, they might have a chapter but they might not accept transfers, or they might have a chapter that does accept transfers, but it might be completely unlike the chapter you joined. (I'll save the spiel about how great life as an alumna is for another time).

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

However, I still really want to be in a sorority! I want to rush at my new school, but I don't know if I should do anything different than before, etc.

We don't know what you did the first two times, other than have a very closed mind. I would recommend changing that.

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I'm just confused and don't know if I want to do it again, and I don't want to go through not getting my first choices again, because that hurts, and why would I want to join a sorority i didn't love?

If that's your attitude, you really shouldn't go through.

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

Are the sororities going to look down on me because I've already rushed or am not a freshman?

Chapters at your new school probably won't know you've gone through twice unless you tell them or it's a close school to your old school where lots of people will have friends at the other school. I would probably raise an eyebrow if I knew a PNM went through twice, particularly if she dropped out so soon her sophomore year. Sophomores and juniors are regarded differently at every school. If you really want to go Greek as a third-time-rushing sophomore/junior, I wouldn't recommend transferring to an SEC school or a Big XII school. Other schools are less competitive. I know of a girl who went through as a junior and got bids to 4 of the 5 chapters at her school. She has a learning disability and had a stocky athletic build in high school and gained weight since then. Point is, competitiveness varies.

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

Do I say I'm a junior or still a sophmore?

I'm guessing you would be a sophomore in fall 09 unless you came to college with credits, because you would have completed 3 semesters according to your plan. Tell them whichever is the truth. Don't lie.

[Ggirl617]

I know why I was rejected.

And at my school, sophmores are just as ok as freshman, junior though is pushing it

i just didn't want to join a sorority i wasn't absolutely in love with. i think that makes sense

no i wasn't going to join a sorority and then transfer, i was going to rush at the new school

i'm sorry if you thought i had a closed mind, i was just trying to give background and that's how i felt then so

what schools are sec and big XII?

and i wouldn't lie i wasn't sure what to say

[agzg]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

i just didn't want to join a sorority i wasn't absolutely in love with. i think that makes sense

You're right. That does make sense. However, how could you know you wouldn't love any of the other sororities by dropping out so early in recruitment? Perceptions of chapters change through recruitment, even if you've already been through once before or you're a sophomore and you know the chapters pretty well.

That's what everyone else is saying about a closed mind. Maybe the first time it was right to drop (because you went until pref round, although you could have gone to the parties and then dropped after just to see if it changed your mind), but the second time you dropped after the first round. You didn't give everyone else a fair shot.

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I know why I was rejected.

Have you overcome why you were rejected? For example, you were dropped by your "favorites" for grades.

Listen, I'm with OTW and the others on your "selective" attitude. If you really want to be in a sorority, it's for LIFE not only for the social aspects of college.

Do us a favor and use correct punctuation and sentence structures. If you had had a bunch of smilies in your posts, I would have thought you were a banned member that was trolling.

[KSUViolet06]

I think what people are trying to say is that formal recruitment is designed for you to meet ALL sororities. It is really hard to have a successful recruitment and end up with a bid at the end if you will ONLY consider a couple of them.

When you transfer, it's a good idea to NOT choose favorites before even going through recruitment-especially at a school you don't go to yet. You will have more options that way. I mean, you limited yourself before and you ended up with unsatisfactory results (not getting a bid, being unhappy and withdrawing).


I'd really encourage you to lurk around here and check out a few of our recruitment threads. You'll find that no, not everyone ends up in their top choice, but they are still happy and wouldn't change anything for the world. Why? Because they gave it a chance and found that they love the girls that are in it. That's the most important thing.

This one is a great example of that. It's long, but it's such a great read, and it illustrates some important recruitment lessons:
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=97700

You can get your heart set on certain groups if you want, and drop out if you don't get them. But there's little room for people to feel bad for you here when things don't work out, because you limited yourself.

I'd just think really hard about whether you want to be IN A SORORITY or if you only want to be CERTAIN ONES. If it's the latter, I'd consider whether it's worth it to go through since you're only looking for a certain outcome.

[KSUViolet06]

And just as an FYI.

The SEC member schools are:

Univ. of Florida
Univ. of GA
Univ. of Kentucky
Univ of South Carolina
UTennessee (Knoxville)
UAlabama (Tuscaloosa)
Auburn
LSU
Ole Miss
Miss State
Vanderbilt

The Big XII are:

Iowa State
Baylor
Kansas State
UKansas
Colorado
Mizzou
Oklahoma
Oklahoma State
UT-Austin
Texas Tech
Texas A&M
Nebraska

[Ggirl617]

i agree that i would have def seen a different side had i accepted the bid and pledged, at the time i was probably just too upset, and not thinking clearly, so dropped.

who said i was only joining for social reasons?

i can't really correct the reason of why i got dropped.

so if i do rush at the new school, besides keep an open mind, i was just wondering what other advice everyone can offer? this is mostly what i was asking

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

i agree that i would have def seen a different side had i accepted the bid and pledged, at the time i was probably just too upset, and not thinking clearly, so dropped.

so if i do rush at the new school, besides keep an open mind, i was just wondering what other advice everyone can offer? this is mostly what i was asking

I'm actually glad you realize that you were not thinking clearly, those realizations about your past experiences will help you alot if you choose to rush again.

This thread is pretty helpful, in terms of what NOT to do or say. It's long, but there's good advice in it:

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=30758

[Ggirl617]

a lot of girls asked me why i was rushing and i said that although i had many guy friends, i had only a few really good girl friends, and i wanted more. is that bad to say?

[KSUViolet06]

I wouldn't say that that's a bad answer. Honestly, I've heard worse answers to that question (i.e. "well I heard that sororities are for girls who want to party and I love partying.")

[agzg]

"I need something for my resume" was always the worst for me.

OR "I heard all the hot guys date sorority girls..."