table manners

[Erik P Conard]

was at a banquet the other day and was shocked at the lack of
table manners. We used to, as pledges, be instructed by our old
housemother...in the skills...or art...of table manners. Which fork
to use, how to pass food, etc. Does the NIC, NPC greek of today
get this training? We used to take great pride in ours, and we
had exchanges with the Pi Phis or Chi O's and we'd receive a goodly number of compliments.
And when we would be out on our jobs...our manners were often
noticed...the sign of a greek vs. the barb...
Any comments? Has fast food destroyed all this? The cell phone
has wrought havoc, too, on our dining habits...LOL

[Sistermadly]

The chapter I advise tried to have an etiquette night, but I'm not quite sure how it went. I know that things like table manners seem antiquated to some people, but it just boils down to civility and learning how to act in social situations. There was a great article in the most recent BUST magazine (the one with Rosie Perez on the cover) about a woman who found an etiquette book written in 1948 and decided to live out the rules in the book for two weeks. Some of the rules were disastrous, but others had quite unintended results.

There's no excuse for poor home-training!

[Taualumna]

When I was an undergrad, a mass email was sent to the entire graduating class informing us about an optional business etiquette training seminar at a local restaurant. I'm not sure how many people went. I think seminars like this should be offered at the middle school level or even earlier. Students shouldn't have to wait until they're in their early 20s to learn.

I know of a social/family club in Toronto that offers etiquette training to kids and teens.

Interesting GLO-related info: When I was researching for my "major research paper", I found an etiquette book called Etiquette in Canada by Audrey Pringle that has a section advising girls on rush. The book was from the 40s, I think, and I guess more Canadian girls joined sororities back then.

[AGDee]

We have a sister in South Carolina who teaches etiquette classes for children. She also teaches a business/interview etiquette class at the university where she is a recruiter. She's amazing! She gave us (AGD volunteers) an etiquette lesson and we had a lot of questions for her. We knew the basics, but she had such knowledge of details!

When I was a collegian, we had an etiquette tip at each meeting, taken from an Emily Post book, I believe. Most of this needs to be learned at home, early.

Dee

[Tom Earp]

Unfortunitaly, those days are gone!

With the advent Hamburgers, Chicken Wings doused in BBQ sauce, etc. it is tough to show proper eating habits. That and along with speed eating to get and go, all is lost.

I went through the same thing with Mom Buck who was the House Mother for SX when I was once a pledge. Always think fondly of Her and all of the forks, knives, and spoons laid out at each setting.

Basically, anymore people dont really give a damn as dont eat in really uppercrust resturants anymore unless you are the snob money types and want to impress others.

[PhoenixAzul]

I think a lot of those rules are antiquated or just plain stupid/stuffy. Obviously you don't chew with your mouth open, talk with food in your mouth, or put your feet on the table. But the whole fork thing is so stupid to me. Just put the food in your mouth.

[Erik P Conard]

When Mother Lesh, in her 80s, would be absented from our table,
we would have the "Gentlemen's Freestyle Wolfing Contest." We
had a few of us who would inhale a pizza or slurp down the old
spaghetti red, or other such fare--in record time.
We took pride in inviting the dean or the president or parents or
prominent locals to sup with us. We had spirited songs between
the main course and dessert. While nostalgia make take hold, I
yet respect the posture held then. But, yes, times have changed.
It is true, today with the working mom not having time, and the
fast food outlets..that many things, manner-wise, have been ignored. I do not know whether farting at the table is acceptable
now, but 'spose so.
We would not DARE enter the Kappa house without exhibiting our best manners. A disapproving glance from the hostess would shame us at once.
Many a job luncheon would result in a hiring or flushing by the simple use or ignoring of dining manners.
Just one of the things that would distinguish greeks from barbs
was the ability to dine with a modicum of dignity. It is not too late. When the present generation kicked out the housemothers,
and began throwing up on the Pikes' porch, we lost something besides our beer.
Today's greek may scoff at the thoughts of manners and gentle
dining, they may return. When we come to our senses, ban
booze from the house and deflower the co-eds somewhere else
than the second floor of the fraternity, we might just recapture the dignity we once had. I feel sure this will be met with some
opposition...This missive is aimed at the greeks who have houses
or a place to meet and eat.

[PhiPsiRuss]

We added a section on etiquette to our manual several years ago to address the decline in manners. Sadly, it was after I pledged, so I still hang spoons from my nose at 4 star restaurants.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by PhoenixAzul
I think a lot of those rules are antiquated or just plain stupid/stuffy. Obviously you don't chew with your mouth open, talk with food in your mouth, or put your feet on the table. But the whole fork thing is so stupid to me. Just put the food in your mouth.

So you think the whole "outside in" rule is silly? It doesn't really matter too much these days, since most settings have no more than three forks set out, and if you decide to have fish (for example), they replace the standard dinner fork with a fish fork and the standard dinner knife, etc...but the "outside in" rule still remains.

Originally posted by Erik P Conard
This missive is aimed at the greeks who have houses
or a place to meet and eat.

I think proper dining etiquette shouldn't be limited to those Greeks who are housed.

I remember giving an etiquette presentation to my chapter when I served as the Personal Development Coordinator as a collegian. The things I learned at CHARM SCHOOL were finally being put to good use!

Since I left, the dining etiquette lesson has been given twice a year -- one before Feast of Roses and one before International Reunion Day.

It's valuable to know these things long after your days of eating at the house!

[Tom Earp]

OTW, that is truely a Breath of Fresh Air! Thank goodness there are people who really beleiveing in non Barbarians.

PhiPsiRuss, once again Greeks Learn on how to do things!

I just learned Last Night that LXA according to my source was the first one to have a Then "Pledge Manual" and all have copied ever since.

Whether We were the first or not is not the main thing! It is having a Book by which each Greek Organization can go by and follow, so, why dont some follow them?

Oh, the reason for many utentiles were for health reasons, certain metals did not go good with certain foods!

[Erik P Conard]

I cited my direction of table manners to the NIC, NPC groups who
are more likely to be housed. No offense, but I was trying to avoid the lashings of those who are not housed and who do not
have the opportunities that the esconced ones have.
And, true, many restaurants have done away with the various utensils, and cretins have replaced waiters.
But there it ends. A slob is a slob.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by AGDee
We have a sister in South Carolina who teaches etiquette classes for children. She also teaches a business/interview etiquette class at the university where she is a recruiter. She's amazing! She gave us (AGD volunteers) an etiquette lesson and we had a lot of questions for her. We knew the basics, but she had such knowledge of details!

That sounds perfectly lovely! So many companies are forced to hire someone to teach etiquette now, since so few people learn any prior to entering the business world.

When I was a collegian, we had an etiquette tip at each meeting, taken from an Emily Post book, I believe. Most of this needs to be learned at home, early.

Dee

Would that more chapters would pick up on the value of this!

[nauadpi]

Greek Life at my old university as a whole heald a class on table etiquette... It worked pretty well, and I know much of my chapter was there.. Unfortunately overall, there is little taught to people in terms of table manners... I was taught as a young child by my grandmother... She also at one point went and gave lessons to my aunt's sorority because they were about to hold a formal dinner... I think it would be great if chapters would all hold workshops in table manners...

[bekibug]

This isn't stuff that only Greeks should know. EVERYBODY should, for the sake of civility. So what if you never actually dine with the Queen of England? You should know how, just in case the opportunity arises. At least that's what I was taught.

It positively pains me to see my boyfriend's little brother eat--the kid all but lays his lip on the table, chews with his mouth open, doesn't sit up straight, can't hold a fork properly... and it goes on and on. I'm sitting here looking at our Amy Vanderbilt etiquette book and wondering where the Emily Post went. Maybe I should just present him with my copy of a teenage manner book that went into everything from how to politely decline a job to how to hold a fish knife.

The point of this rant is that table manners are extremely important. If you can't look civilized when performing basic functions like eating, when can you?