Recommendation Letters

[shadokat]

At Phi Mu’s convention, delegates voted nearly unanimously to remove the requirement for recommendation letters. Per the policy, no recommendation letters will be used at all as part of the membership selection process. They are the first NPC group to do so.

[carnation]

We supposedly got rid of them. This is asinine. Far from leading to iNcLuSioN, this is taking chances to be known by the Greeks from unknown girls. For many years, I have written recs for girls from the small-town schools where I've taught and sent their information to other Greeks to writ recs and most have pledged, even at big schools. Now they're behind the eight ball because they're unknown and we all know that most sororities aren't going to (or be able to) start the selection process the first day they meet the girls.

Not only that, but many sorority women I know have confirmed that they'll be casting their nets a lot closer to shore, so to speak, because without recs they don't know anything about the PNMs' personalities. Who wants a girl who looks good on paper but will embarrass the sorority by making dirty or racist videos? Or causing drama 24/7 (I've personally know of chapters that have been split in half by that)?

Many NPCs are losing millions with some of their crap new policies. Good.

[honeychile]

At least sororities have added a "Write Your Own Rec!" option.

I'm curious to hear what others think about that.

[zbxo]

Originally Posted by honeychile

At least sororities have added a "Write Your Own Rec!" option.

I'm curious to hear what others think about that.

I’m okay with write your own Rec. So we can learn more about the PNM Really the Rec is so we can give the PNM a good recruitment

[carnation]

I don't. Everyone will write incredible things about herself and never even touch on what a horror she is to live with or the ways she will mortify her sorority by wearing her letters while doing obscene stuff when the sun sets.

[33girl]

But you can’t stop alumnae from sending them -

And you can’t prove the members did or did not use them in membership selection-

So for the chapters (especially the strongest rushing chapters) who are desperate to find reasons to keep or cut women that are not, as Cosmo Kramer says, capricious and arbitrary- not a damn thing will change.

Proclamations like this are performative in the extreme.

[AOIIalum]

Originally Posted by 33girl

But you can’t stop alumnae from sending them -

And you can’t prove the members did or did not use them in membership selection-

So for the chapters (especially the strongest rushing chapters) who are desperate to find reasons to keep or cut women that are not, as Cosmo Kramer says, capricious and arbitrary- not a damn thing will change.

Proclamations like this are performative in the extreme.

This. All of this. Count me as one alum who still sends them. What a chapter does upon receipt is up to them

[AOIIalum]

Originally Posted by 33girl

But you can’t stop alumnae from sending them -

And you can’t prove the members did or did not use them in membership selection-

So for the chapters (especially the strongest rushing chapters) who are desperate to find reasons to keep or cut women that are not, as Cosmo Kramer says, capricious and arbitrary- not a damn thing will change.

Proclamations like this are performative in the extreme.

This. All of this. Count me as one alum who still sends them. What a chapter does upon receipt is up to them

[carnation]

Well, you know that what will happen if anyone tries to prevent sororities from getting recs--the coconut wireless will go underground and alums will just text or call the chapters. Who can blame them?

I do not expect pledge classes to differ at all from before the proclamations.

[FSUZeta]

And I have heard from Panhellenic friends who are members of sororities that have done away with recs, that they will be writing letters to the ginormous chapters for girls they would like to the chapter to BOLO for. And as AOIIAlum said, the chapters can do with them what they will.

[shadokat]

I honestly don't have much of an opinion on this one. I just posted it because I saw it. DPhiE has never had much of a recommendation letter writing thing, and I think I've done maybe 3 in my life.

Here's my question, and again, excuse my ignorance, but what if PNMs got recommendations from someone like say a teacher, a clergy person, a boss at a job or something like that instead of having a member write one? Or is that a bad idea?

[Cookiez17]

Originally Posted by shadokat

I honestly don't have much of an opinion on this one. I just posted it because I saw it. DPhiE has never had much of a recommendation letter writing thing, and I think I've done maybe 3 in my life.

Here's my question, and again, excuse my ignorance, but what if PNMs got recommendations from someone like say a teacher, a clergy person, a boss at a job or something like that instead of having a member write one? Or is that a bad idea?

If this was the change they made, I'd actually be okay with it. There are people who don't know alumni or live where there aren't near alumni NPC, etc. If they got a glowing letter from a boss (or not) and the chapter would see that, it could help.

[carnation]

Why it is a bad idea: a minister or a neighbor or whatever may have only seen the good side of a PNM and have no idea what a bully/horrible jerk/etc. that she is. At least if a member knows, she's a stakeholder who doesn't want a horrible person in her letters, whereas it's no sweat off a non-member's back.

Do I sound jaded from over 40 years of this? Have I seen everything? Yes and yes.

[shadokat]

You sound like someone with valid opinions

I know that my friend's daughter who rushed at Alabama 2 years ago had a HELL of a time getting recs for all of the sororities, and the ones she didn't have cut her immediately. She went through Zoom Recruitment, so didn't meet anyone in person until bid day. I thought it was sort of shitty to cut someone simply because they don't know someone in an organization.

Originally Posted by carnation

Why it is a bad idea: a minister or a neighbor or whatever may have only seen the good side of a PNM and have no idea what a bully/horrible jerk/etc. that she is. At least if a member knows, she's a stakeholder who doesn't want a horrible person in her letters, whereas it's no sweat off a non-member's back.

Do I sound jaded from over 40 years of this? Have I seen everything? Yes and yes.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by shadokat

You sound like someone with valid opinions

I know that my friend's daughter who rushed at Alabama 2 years ago had a HELL of a time getting recs for all of the sororities, and the ones she didn't have cut her immediately. She went through Zoom Recruitment, so didn't meet anyone in person until bid day. I thought it was sort of shitty to cut someone simply because they don't know someone in an organization.

This is where you network. Did you know alums in the other groups that could have done it for her based on your rec? Did she ask everyone who did a rec if they knew people in the other groups? Did she contact the nearest alum PH? Or the national offices of the other groups? Did she search FB for rec writing groups? (they are out there because I belong to one and I'm the only Alabama person on it). Sure, you'll end up missing out on some, but it should not be a lot.