How have you changed?

three2tango · #1 07-05-2001, 07:59 PM

I remember when I went through rush as a freshman I HAD to be an XYZ. I went shopping before rush began and bought a new outfit for every party. I think I spent $150 for my pref night dress (which might have been okay if I had worn it more than that one night). I spent the entire week stressed out over how I was going to get in XYZ. They were the prissy girls and I wanted to be a part of them. I didn't know who I was but I thought they were who I wanted to become. Luckily one of their sisters said something that turned me off and I wrote my second choice down first on my pref card.
No one tells you how much you are going to change from your first to second year in college. During my first time on the rusher side I looked at how cute the girls were and how much fun I thought they would be. I let all that surface fluff influence my vote on pref night. The girls who weren't as cute were put on my B list. I had the attitude, you have to prove to me you are good enough to be here.(How Pretentious is that?)

Now I think/hope I have grown enough to look deeper and I get so ANGRY when we are voting on a girl and she is really great but the younger sisters will say something negative just so that they can be justified in voting her out of the next night.
I don't say anything to them because I know that it is just something they will have to learn on their own. It is kind of like all of the people on here who are consumed with trying to get into the "best" house. You can tell them that they shouldn't go into rush only wanting one house a thousand times but they won't ever understand until they are on the other side.
I feel sorry for the the rushee, every move she makes is watched and judged.
It is strange to think back to who I was.

IowaHawkeye · #2 07-05-2001, 09:00 PM

All I have to say is... that was so profound and deep... wow - you just hit the nail on the head. Next year will be my first year on the other side... and becuase of what you just said, you opened my eyes up and wow - i am going to be a lot more careful about how i look at potential members - that was so well said - thank you

AlphaSigLana · #3 07-05-2001, 10:40 PM

I totally understand. Except I didn't spend a lot of money on my clothes. I wish I had. I looked really preppy in my pics from bid night compared to the other girls rushing who looked sexy. I too based the houses I wanted to be in by what the girls looked like. If I hadn't joined my house I would've never met my big and through her ex I met my ex. Plus I have some awesome friends in the house!

AngelPhiSig · #4 07-05-2001, 11:52 PM

That is so true. I know there are some people I am worrying about that I think will only vote for the pretty girls. Im hoping that is just a dumb feeling Im getting from them... Im glad no one wanted me becuase I was pretty, or beause I had money (wait, Im poor) and Im glad I was chosen for Phi Sigma Sigma because I am me. And that I was wanted by people becuase they thought that I would make an excellent sister. I thank God every day for my choice to be a Phi Sig, and that I am on our exec board, I am proud that I am leading our chapter into the future!

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"...A dynamic sisterhood of powerful and passionate women maintaining uncompromising principles, igniting positive change, and embracing individuality!"

Phi Sigma Sigma - Gamma Gamma Chapter
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1-9-4-6 Doohretsis!

Tau Beta Sigma - Delta Omicron Chapter
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Go Golden Chickens! I mean EAGLES!

There are only a few good things that came out of Clarion- Chris Kirkpatrick of NSync, Kurt Angle (Pre WWF!) and any PHI SIGMA SIGMA!

three2tango · #5 07-06-2001, 02:08 PM

Thanks for validating how I feel- It took over an hour to get that out- I feel so shallow sometimes and I was concerned that I was telling too much.

You are right about saying "now I get to be the judge" we somehow forget that night before bid day and the stomach turning and thinking what will I do if I get nothing. But let them ask about the elite and who's who, it is just a phase they will get over once they understand. I equate it to Tequilla- everyone tells you how bad it is and how drunk you will get but you just don't listen. Then you have your first hang-over from it and you finally get it. Then when just the smell of it hits you and makes you sick you tell everyone around don't overdo it there cheif---do they listen NOOO. They will learn, give them time.

Dianne · #6 07-10-2001, 01:01 PM

I went into rush thinking I wanted a certain sorority. At the first party, I happened to mention that I was on scholarship. The next place in the house the sister took me was the little poster set up with the explanation of the dues, just to make sure I knew what a financial commitment it was to join a GLO. The next day when we got our invitations to the next round of parties, they were the only sorority out of 7 at my school who didn't invite me back. I immediately realized why, and was glad they cut me (but I was still pretty pissed, too). I realized that the other sorority I liked a lot, ZTA, was full of girls who may not be the prettiest or richest, but were truly genuine and FUN! I could tell at their rush parties, they were trying to get to know my personality, not how much money my daddy makes. They also reminded me of my best friends from high school - more concerned with having fun with each other than images and all that BS. I couldn't be happier with the decision I made to go Zeta. Last fall, I went through rush on the other side. Our rush workshop addressed the issue of what to really look for in a rushee, what would make a good sister - being genuine, fun, witty, etc. Being cute doesn't hurt, I'm sure, but it is certainly not a requirement. We all went around (all 120 of us) telling why we chose Zeta to remind everyone to look for those same features in the rushees. It made me so proud of my chapter, and so excited about rush b/c I knew we would get quality girls, not the beauty queens who drive Beamers (nothing against Beamers though!).

So I guess what my point is (if I have one) is that people are just gonna have to learn in their own ways. Lucky for me, I learned fast, and am fortunate enough to be in a chapter that recognizes what is really important.

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"Seek the noblest."
Zeta Love! <3

purpleturtle · #7 07-12-2001, 02:18 AM

When I rushed, I was doing so because of pressure. I came from a small, well-to-do town in Texas, and all of the girls were pretty much expected to join a sorority. When I decide on my college, I recieved a lot of pressure to join XYZ, because a lot of older girls from my town had, and "it was the best". At that time, I was sure that I had to, and really wanted nothing more than that. Then I went through rush, where I was really doted on by XYZ, because I had a ton of rec's and so many of my older friends had joined. I loved the attention, but I just didn't feel totally comfortable. Then I went to the DZ party, and the minute I walked in just felt at home. Even then I kept trying to make myself like XYZ, but after the second night, I knew that my sisters were in Delta Zeta. I ended up pledging, and have gotten a lot of grief over it, but it is still worth it. I cannot imagine myself anywhere else now. I am so glad that I got over all of the preconceived notions that I carried, and I hope all of the prospective rushees can, too and listen to their heart.

Just my little story!
-Missy

purpleturtle · #8 07-12-2001, 02:18 AM

When I rushed, I was doing so because of pressure. I came from a small, well-to-do town in Texas, and all of the girls were pretty much expected to join a sorority. When I decide on my college, I recieved a lot of pressure to join XYZ, because a lot of older girls from my town had, and "it was the best". At that time, I was sure that I had to, and really wanted nothing more than that. Then I went through rush, where I was really doted on by XYZ, because I had a ton of rec's and so many of my older friends had joined. I loved the attention, but I just didn't feel totally comfortable. Then I went to the DZ party, and the minute I walked in just felt at home. Even then I kept trying to make myself like XYZ, but after the second night, I knew that my sisters were in Delta Zeta. I ended up pledging, and have gotten a lot of grief over it, but it is still worth it. I cannot imagine myself anywhere else now. I am so glad that I got over all of the preconceived notions that I carried, and I hope all of the prospective rushees can, too and listen to their heart.

Just my little story!
-Missy

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"To the world I promise temperance and insight and courage...."

aphiprincess · #9 07-14-2001, 09:59 PM

A good thing to tell your sisters that are on the other side of rush for the first time is that if they have something rude to say about a rushee, or her past to keep it to themselves. Girls change once they get to college and we need to keep our jelousies to ourselves, unless its someone you really dislike give her a chance. When I rushed my house there was a girl that I had went to high school with, and I thought she was a snob and she slept around. Turns out she thought the same about me. We were both wrong. I'm glad she didn't say anything bad about me, because now we are very close and I couldn't have chose a better house.

shadokat · #10 07-14-2001, 10:44 PM

Wow, this is a good topic. I remember going through rush, and I had a friend in one sorority. She really wanted me to join, but I told her I had to see it all for myself and decide. She understood. So I went through rush...and it was a blast. My friend was in a sorority that was really diverse, not necessarily the most popular, but by far really fun, real and my kind of girls. At prefs, I had a really hard time deciding what to do. I liked two of my choices, and had a really hard time deciding. So, I filled out my pref card, with my friend's sorority as my first choice and went home. Since we couldn't talk, she couldn't find out where I decided to go. Finally, the next night on bid night, I went up to the table to get my bid, and there she was, with the biggest smile on her face and it was so awesome. Going D Phi E was the best decision I made in college...they may not be the biggest sorority or the prettiest sorority, but they're my sisters, and they are the people who taught me so much. Next year, on the other side of recruitment, some girls wanted to cut girls because "they're not cute" or something stupid...I stood up and said, "whoa! we are rating girls on who they are!! we are not like some of the other groups here...we go for who we genuinely like, not for what we look like". Half the room applauded. It was a rip

AlphaSigLana · #11 07-22-2001, 10:17 AM

I'm just thankful I never have to be on the other side of rush ever again. I felt very low about myself when I saw all the other rushees- they were prettier and richer. It hurt worse getting cut from houses. Even though I am happy with ASA I still wonder what I could've done different to get accepted into the other houses. Luckily my house is a lot cheaper than some of the other houses.

LSU2001 · #12 07-23-2001, 01:30 AM

Wow girls, very well said! I'm going through rush next month and the advice was great! It made me think about why I want to join a sorority in the first place. I don't want to spend the next four years of my life trying to fit in by being someone I'm not. Thanks so much and keep up the good work!

newbie · #13 07-24-2001, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LSU2001:
Wow girls, very well said! I'm going through rush next month and the advice was great! It made me think about why I want to join a sorority in the first place. I don't want to spend the next four years of my life trying to fit in by being someone I'm not. Thanks so much and keep up the good work!

LSU2001, good luck in Rush!!!!

I hope you get the sorority that you want!