So confused! Help!

ashleighoxide · #1 06-19-2018, 05:39 AM

I was a new member of a sorority but wasn’t initiated and I really want my membership back. I was “kicked out” because of some not so great behavior by these two ladies who really didn’t like me. They only made me return my bid day shirt and they let me keep everything else. When I tried logging into the website, a profile for me comes up but the initiation info is blank. Am I still somewhere between being a member and a non initiate? Even though I’m older could I rejoin? I did’nt finish my 4 yr degree as I chose another path but I loved that sorority and don’t want to let it go. Any advice please??
Sincerely,
Ex sorority girl who need some help.

AZTheta · #2 06-19-2018, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashleighoxide

I was a new member of a sorority but wasn’t initiated and I really want my membership back. I was “kicked out” because of some not so great behavior by these two ladies who really didn’t like me. They only made me return my bid day shirt and they let me keep everything else. When I tried logging into the website, a profile for me comes up but the initiation info is blank. Am I still somewhere between being a member and a non initiate? Even though I’m older could I rejoin? I did’nt finish my 4 yr degree as I chose another path but I loved that sorority and don’t want to let it go. Any advice please??
Sincerely,
Ex sorority girl who need some help.

Actually, this post brings to mind something I read very recently about the worthiness of the term "pledge" and the misleading nature of using the term "new member". #bringbackpledging #abolishnewmemberterminology

Sigh. OK, assuming this is NPC and not another group:

You are not an "Ex sorority girl". You're not in limbo at all. Your association with a sorority was severed during your "new member period". FYI, for others reading, it is fairly easy for either side (new member or sorority) to terminate during a "new member period" for virtually any reason at all, including "not so great behavior" (was it your behavior, or the two ladies who really didn't like you who exhibited the behavior? I can't tell from the way that sentence is constructed). After initiation, not easy at all for the sorority to terminate a member.

A non-initiate is a non-member. That's where you are. Now stating the obvious: did you contact the headquarters of the sorority with your question? Because that's the best place for an official answer.

IMO, that sorority membership ship sailed away, probably a long time ago. ETA: in your first post on GC you self-identified as "GPhi and Beta Sigma Phi" so I'm a little curious about that. Please tell me you're not misrepresenting yourself as an alumna of Gamma Phi Beta. That would not be good. At all.

carnation · #3 06-19-2018, 08:29 AM

Oh dear. You did not.

Hello!
Views: 601
Posted By ashleighoxide
Hi Gphi & Beta Sigma Phi here.

Hi Gphi & Beta Sigma Phi here.

NYCMS · #4 06-19-2018, 05:46 PM

As AZTheta wrote, you're not a member, i.e., you were never initiated. You were, what we called back in the day, a pledge and you were then "de-pledged" by your chapter. "New member" is the fancy term for pledge.

As far as joining the sorority you were pledged to, that ship is sailed, to quote AZTheta again...a chapter that released you from any level of membership (even if you had been initiated) is not going to take you back.

You could re-rush next year at your current school or at a transfer school. You would be cut immediately from the chapter that de-pledged you, I strongly suspect, so I wouldn't get your hopes up for that one.

AZTheta · #5 06-19-2018, 06:25 PM

^^^ ummmm you might want to re-read her initial post.

navane · #6 06-19-2018, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashleighoxide

I was a new member of a sorority but wasn’t initiated and I really want my membership back. I was “kicked out” because of some not so great behavior by these two ladies who really didn’t like me. They only made me return my bid day shirt and they let me keep everything else. When I tried logging into the website, a profile for me comes up but the initiation info is blank. Am I still somewhere between being a member and a non initiate? Even though I’m older could I rejoin? I did’nt finish my 4 yr degree as I chose another path but I loved that sorority and don’t want to let it go. Any advice please??
Sincerely,
Ex sorority girl who need some help.

Ashleigh,

I'm not sure what you mean when you say that you pulled up your profile on the website. Unless you had a different last name in college, your name does not appear in our membership database as either an active or an alumna. To answer your question, there is no status inbetween "member and non initiate" Either you are an initiated member or you are not a member at all. As someone else already posted, the term "new member" may have caused you confusion. It is a newer term we use to replace the previous term of "pledge" and I regret that it may have caused you to believe that you held membership status. If you did not participate in the initiation ritual, you are not a member. Also, to help explain some of the responses you are getting, referring to yourself as a Gamma Phi Beta when you are not an initiated member is a huge no-no.

I am an international-level volunteer. Please PM me your name, chapter and year of pledging.

NYCMS · #7 06-19-2018, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by navane

Ashleigh, I'm not sure what you mean when you say that you pulled up your profile on the website. Unless you had a different last name in college, your name does not appear in our membership database as either an active or an alumna..

I'm wondering if she means her local chapter website...every chapter I know has their own individual website, separate from their national organization, so perhaps this is what she's referring to?

ashleighoxide · #8 06-20-2018, 05:13 PM

Ouch. Not gonna lie, that hurts my feelings a bit that I’m not a member. GPhi was my first choice and it’s a little sad that ship has sailed but if it didn’t work out, then it didn’t work out. I in NO WAY intended to misrepresent myself. I still have so many things from when I was a new member. What do I even do with it all? I was initiated into Beta Sigma Phi but our chapter is a bit of a mess right now. Roles aren’t clearly defined in the sorority. Our chapter has room for improvement. Hopefully, we can get back on track. Also, sometimes people say that it’s not a “real” sorority, which isn’t something you want to hear about your organization.

Sororitysock · #9 06-20-2018, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashleighoxide

Hi Gphi & Beta Sigma Phi here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashleighoxide

I guess I can’t just delete this post? Anyhow, I am NOT affiliated with GPhi. I made a mistake and just want to clear up any confusion. I do not want to misrepresent myself or the organization. I am a ΒΣΦ initiated sister.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashleighoxide

Ouch. Not gonna lie, that hurts my feelings a bit that I’m not a member. GPhi was my first choice and it’s a little sad that ship has sailed but if it didn’t work out, then it didn’t work out. I in NO WAY intended to misrepresent myself. I still have so many things from when I was a new member. What do I even do with it all? I was initiated into Beta Sigma Phi but our chapter is a bit of a mess right now. Roles aren’t clearly defined in the sorority. Our chapter has room for improvement. Hopefully, we can get back on track. Also, sometimes people say that it’s not a “real” sorority, which isn’t something you want to hear about your organization.

Really? Your feelings are hurt that you're not a member? Like it's a news flash when you admitted you were expelled from the sorority before you were initiated? You're not confused. You're perping. Stop impersonating something you never were.

ashleighoxide · #10 06-20-2018, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sororitysock

Really? Your feelings are hurt that you're not a member? Like it's a news flash when you admitted you were expelled from the sorority before you were initiated? You're not confused. You're perping. Stop impersonating something you never were.

No, I’m not. I cleared up who I am and am not affiliated with. I think you’re being a troll right now.

Sororitysock · #11 06-20-2018, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashleighoxide

Ouch. Not gonna lie, that hurts my feelings a bit that I’m not a member. GPhi was my first choice and it’s a little sad that ship has sailed but if it didn’t work out, then it didn’t work out. I in NO WAY intended to misrepresent myself. I still have so many things from when I was a new member. What do I even do with it all? I was initiated into Beta Sigma Phi but our chapter is a bit of a mess right now. Roles aren’t clearly defined in the sorority. Our chapter has room for improvement. Hopefully, we can get back on track. Also, sometimes people say that it’s not a “real” sorority, which isn’t something you want to hear about your organization.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashleighoxide

No, I’m not. I cleared up who I am and am not affiliated with. I think you’re being a troll right now.

No, people cleared that up. You didn't. You came on here completely misrepresenting yourself. The only troll here is you.

AZTheta · #12 06-20-2018, 06:45 PM

Ashleigh, please contact Navane. She was very gracious to you. And SororitySock is no troll. You did indeed misrepresent yourself in your first post and now that is cleared up by others. You know, and you knew, that you're not an initiated member of Gamma Phi Beta. Let's move on, shall we?

I gather you have been out of school a while.

ashleighoxide · #13 06-20-2018, 06:45 PM

Okay. You’re ridiculous ��

AZTheta · #14 06-20-2018, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashleighoxide

Okay. You’re ridiculous ��

Not sure who that is directed to; but I am an initiated member of Kappa Alpha Theta, and I have been honest with you. Gather that you didn't like what you were told by myself and others here.

The best thing about always being honest and telling the truth is that you never have to clean up messes you made by being dishonest and untruthful.

I miss the train wrecks of the past.

carnation · #15 06-20-2018, 07:53 PM

Man, this sounds like that woman who showed up at Montevallo and "helped" with recruitment, claiming that she was a sister because she had been a pledge of that chapter. AND, she later went Beta Sigma Phi.