Advice needed, please

SATX*APhi · #1 09-23-2002, 03:39 AM

One of my sisters (A) has a class with this guy named Jack who she is attracted to. Thursday night she went out with one of her friends (F) to a bar and ran into him. Well (A) starts talking to Jack. At the end of the night (A) & (F) (not Abercrombie and Fitch) went over to Jacks for a while. (A) and Jack really hit it off and he tells her that he really likes her. The next evening, Friday, (A) heads over to Jacks to hang out. There is a knock at the door and it is (S), another sister. (S) did not know that (A) was there because she never saw her. The next day (S) told Jack that she knew that he had a visitor when she went over. Here is the problem: When (A) was first interested in Jack, (F) told (A) that another of our sisters (S) cheated on her boyfriend with Jack. From what (A) hears, (S) still likes Jack, but is still with her boyfriend. (A) really, really likes Jack but does not know what to do, and is afraid (S) will hate her.

When someone comes to me with a problem, I am an excellent listener -- I just really suck when it comes to giving advice! She knows of GC and I told her I would ask all of you your opinion about how she should handle the situation. Advice about the situation would be appreciated. Thanks!

The1calledTKE · #2 09-23-2002, 09:52 AM

If (s) is cheating on her bf then she has no claim to Jack. (A) should date Jack if she want unless she thinks Jack would cheat on her with (s).

LeslieAGD · #3 09-23-2002, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by zntke711
If (s) is cheating on her bf then she has no claim to Jack. (A) should date Jack if she want unless she thinks Jack would cheat on her with (s).

Yep.

swissmiss04 · #4 09-23-2002, 10:39 AM

I agree...if Jack is willing to help that girl cheat on her man, obviously he doesn't see much wrong w/ cheating. Believe you me I have done some cheating in my time and the guys that I cheated on my boyfriends on had been cheaters themselves. I know it sound implausible, but take it from one who's been there. It's gonna be sooo hard for her to accept it, but do all you can (w/in reason) to keep her off him because it'll only lead to her getting burned. However, if she just doesn't listen, you have no choice but to sit back and watch. Maybe she'll be lucky. But if not, be there for her when something does happen, and refrain from the "I told you so's" because she'll feel stupid enough already.

librasoul22 · #5 09-23-2002, 10:39 AM

And I need some T to the 4th power Y.

LOL, all these letters threw me off.

I *think* I agree with zntke...

KappaKittyCat · #6 09-23-2002, 11:29 AM

I always use this rule: If you're going to cheat on your SO with me, then what guarantees me that you won't cheat on me when I'm your SO?

valkyrie · #7 09-23-2002, 11:37 AM

Well, IMO, there is NEVER a guarantee that someone won't cheat.

As for your friends, A should just go for it, and who cares what S thinks? S is still with her boyfriend, so whether she likes Jack or not doesn't matter. She's not with him. I think that S would be waaay out of line if she got mad at A for getting together with Jack.

I also don't think it's fair to hate on Jack for hooking up with S. S has a duty to her boyfriend -- Jack doesn't.

lifesaver · #8 09-23-2002, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SATX*APhi
One of my sisters (A) has a class with this guy named Jack who she is attracted to. Thursday night she went out with one of her friends (F) to a bar and ran into him. Well (A) starts talking to Jack. At the end of the night (A) & (F) (not Abercrombie and Fitch) went over to Jacks for a while. (A) and Jack really hit it off and he tells her that he really likes her. The next evening, Friday, (A) heads over to Jacks to hang out. There is a knock at the door and it is (S), another sister. (S) did not know that (A) was there because she never saw her. The next day (S) told Jack that she knew that he had a visitor when she went over. Here is the problem: When (A) was first interested in Jack, (F) told (A) that another of our sisters (S) cheated on her boyfriend with Jack. From what (A) hears, (S) still likes Jack, but is still with her boyfriend. (A) really, really likes Jack but does not know what to do, and is afraid (S) will hate her.

The answer is 43.

LOL. Wasnt this question on the TASP? I think I slept through this part of Algebra. My deal with story problems was this: 1) Whay were the always on a train? 2) Why were the always going somewhere? 3) Their lives would be much easier if they just got a check card. They could itemize all expenses at athe end of the month instead of this "Jill spent $4.27 on lunch" biznass.

I have no idea to answer your question. I can have Jacks ass kicked if thats what we want...

I am still confused.

Hootie · #9 09-23-2002, 02:22 PM

I agree totally with what most everyone has said. If sister A really likes this guy she should be cautious. If he's willing to help sister S cheat then he's more than likely open to the idea of doing it in the future.
Furthermore, I'd want to know straight up what sister S's intensions were. Is she merely just friends with him? Does she want more? Can she be trusted? What is her repore like with the rest of the chapter?
We have Chi-O curtesy and that simply means that if a sister is interested in a guy then or has dated him then it is polite for another sister to ask if it's okay for her to persue something with him.
In THIS CASE all bets are out the window. Sister S was with another man so it's not like she was actively seeing the guy. Furthermore, if she knows sister A's interested in him she should BACK OFF!

Sounds like a soap opera...hope all is fixed~

Hootie

chideltjen · #10 09-23-2002, 05:22 PM

i am starting to wonder about Jack's integrity. If he can accept the fact that he is the "other guy" in a cheated relationship, then does that make him a great person. Tell A (i think that was her) that she can go for Jack if she wants but be forwarned that Jack may not be all he is cracked up to be. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I would personally avoid the whole love triangle all together.

UFRushee05 · #11 09-23-2002, 05:33 PM

Sisters before misters...is this guy worth it?

SATX*APhi · #12 09-23-2002, 05:37 PM

I believe that Jack did not know that (S) was still with her boyfriend. He believed that they had broken up.

Thanks for all of the advice thus far.

James · #13 09-23-2002, 07:41 PM

Lets see:

S is in a committed relationship.

Jack is single.

S has sex with Jack.

Therefore Jack is dramatically more likely to break out of a committed relationship and cheat.

Even though he had no committment.

I am not getting the connection. Would someone please explain it to me in small words like I am 6 years old? LOL.

I have gotten to get hot and heavy with a couple sorority girls that have been in committed relationships.

One was engaged. One second we were talking at the bar doing shots talking about how great her fiancee was and the nexy she shoved three inches of toungue down my throat.

And I have never cheated. *shrug*

So again why is he more likely to cheat when he didn't do anything wrong?

librasoul22 · #14 09-23-2002, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Lets see:

S is in a committed relationship.

Jack is single.

S has sex with Jack.

Therefore Jack is dramatically more likely to break out of a committed relationship and cheat.

Even though he had no committment.

I am not getting the connection. Would someone please explain it to me in small words like I am 6 years old? LOL.

I have gotten to get hot and heavy with a couple sorority girls that have been in committed relationships.

One was engaged. One second we were talking at the bar doing shots talking about how great her fiancee was and the nexy she shoved three inches of toungue down my throat.

And I have never cheated. *shrug*

So again why is he more likely to cheat when he didn't do anything wrong?

Umm...yeah, what he said.

What is wrong with (insert letter) who is cheating?? I mean if (insert letter) is already in a relationship, then (insert different letter) should be clear to move about the cabin with (insert Jack). If (insert Jack) didn't know that (insert letter) was in a relationship, then it wasn't his fault. (Insert letter) needs to not try to have her cake and eat it too. (Insert other letter) should just remove herself from the situation altogether, unless (insert Jack) is just the BOMB and deserves all of this attention.

Actually, a, s, f, Jack and whoever else should just have a big ol' orgy and call it a night.

I am frustrated, lol.

James · #15 09-23-2002, 08:05 PM

I thought you were leading up to sex or something with all your talk of inserting lol.

It was getting me kind of HOT actually . . .

Quote:

Originally posted by librasoul22

Umm...yeah, what he said.

What is wrong with (insert letter) who is cheating?? I mean if (insert letter) is already in a relationship, then (insert different letter) should be clear to move about the cabin with (insert Jack). If (insert Jack) didn't know that (insert letter) was in a relationship, then it wasn't his fault. (Insert letter) needs to not try to have her cake and eat it too. (Insert other letter) should just remove herself from the situation altogether, unless (insert Jack) is just the BOMB and deserves all of this attention.

Actually, a, s, f, Jack and whoever else should just have a big ol' orgy and call it a night.

I am frustrated, lol.