A question concerning graduation

[owlsgohoot]

Hi everyone, I'm hoping some of you can give me some opinions on this situation. It might seem silly, but I've got a little bit of anxiety over it.

I'm graduating this upcoming year. I pledged and was initiated into my sorority at a school I no longer attend. I transferred to a small school with no greek life, and then transferred again to the school that I will be graduating from. My current school does have greek life, and my sorority is on this campus. However, I chose not to affiliate and took alumna status instead.

So my issue is what is acceptable for me to do at graduation with respect to my letters but not offensive to the girls of the chapter? I feel like having a stole would step on toes (or maybe I'm imagining that). While I really only know less than 10 out of ~200 of these girls, they're still my sisters and I just don't want to offend them. But I also feel like I earned my letters and I love them and I want to honor them at my graduation, because they've been a hugely important thing for me during some really crappy times in my life.

Does anyone have any advice on what's appropriate here?

[33girl]

Unless your not affiliating was a bone of contention (i.e. you wanted to affiliate and the chapter voted no on letting you do so) I would go ahead and wear the stole. It sounds like the chapter is aware of you, so there's not going to be a "who's that perp in our letters?" graduation tthrowdown. Lol.

[owlsgohoot]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Unless your not affiliating was a bone of contention (i.e. you wanted to affiliate and the chapter voted no on letting you do so) I would go ahead and wear the stole. It sounds like the chapter is aware of you, so there's not going to be a "who's that perp in our letters?" graduation tthrowdown. Lol.

I initially wanted to affiliate, and then changed my mind for academic and financial reasons. The process was never started. Most of the girls who know me have graduated or will be graduating before I do, so I don't know if that really has an impact.

If you were me, would you put your home chapter's name on the stole or just leave it off?

[Kevin]

Why would you feel a need to wear a stole? It seems weird to me that anyone would want to do what you're suggesting. How is this important?

[owlsgohoot]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Why would you feel a need to wear a stole? It seems weird to me that anyone would want to do what you're suggesting. How is this important?

Graduating seniors of a pretty significant amount of GLOs do this now. It's become a bit of a graduation tradition. I can't think of a single organization on my current (and former, for that matter) campus that DOESN'T wear a stole at graduation.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Why would you feel a need to wear a stole? It seems weird to me that anyone would want to do what you're suggesting. How is this important?

It's a big thing at some schools. At other schools, it's not. It obviously is something important in her neck of the woods.

Owlsgohoot* - if it's possible to put your home chapter's designation on I would.

*This username is making me think of What Does The Fox Say.

[owlsgohoot]

Originally Posted by 33girl

It's a big thing at some schools. At other schools, it's not. It obviously is something important in her neck of the woods.

Owlsgohoot* - if it's possible to put your home chapter's designation on I would.

*This username is making me think of What Does The Fox Say.

Thanks! That's probably what I'll do, should I decide to get a stole.

Also, in my defense, I've been using this username on various sites since 2009-ish so I certainly didn't gain any inspiration from Ylvis

[Sen's Revenge]

I agree with 33girl. That way at least if anyone gives you a look or dares say anything, it will be right on the stole where you were initiated.

I will add, however, do err on the side of subtlety. If the tradition on campus is thin stoles, don't get the double-wide stoles with extra shit on them.

[Sciencewoman]

I haven't seen "personalizable" stoles...ours just have our letters, no chapter name. Maybe your group has that feature. If so, I think it's fine to add it, but not if it includes the other university's name. That would be weird.

The other thing you could do is let the chapter president know your plans, and she could announce it casually in a meeting. Then you've removed anxiety related to potentially having to explain yourself.

Personally, I probably wouldn't wear the stole. Yes, you are a sister, but if you haven't contributed to the chapter at this campus, I don't think it's warranted to broadcast your membership if you think the chapter members will think it's odd because they don't know who you are. I'm saying this as someone who did transfer and affiliate.

[Griffins&Quills]

You can order custom stoles online, I ordered mine from somethinggreek.com because I'm not a fan of the ones my chapter orders.

You could probably put the chapter designation (Alpha Beta chapter) whatever, or maybe pick a different color than what the group orders? Still one of the sorority colors, just the other one.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Sen's Revenge

I agree with 33girl. That way at least if anyone gives you a look or dares say anything, it will be right on the stole where you were initiated.

I will add, however, do err on the side of subtlety. If the tradition on campus is thin stoles, don't get the double-wide stoles with extra shit on them.

Agree. Or, if you want to be more subtle, what about cords? I'll admit, I much prefer them to stoles anyway.

[owlsgohoot]

Thanks for all of the input everyone. I still have time to decide, so I'm definitely going to think about it. Who knows, I may do something totally different. And if I do decide on the stole, I'll probably do one similar to the ones used by my chapter instead of one like the girls at my current school use since they have obvious differences.

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Agree. Or, if you want to be more subtle, what about cords? I'll admit, I much prefer them to stoles anyway.

This is something I hadn't thought about. I like the idea, but honestly, I'm a Kappa and I'm like 99% sure a lot of the honor society cord's I've seen have a blue cord. I'm not sure if any honor society uses blue & blue cords, but that could be treading in murky waters.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Agree. Or, if you want to be more subtle, what about cords? I'll admit, I much prefer them to stoles anyway.

Some institutions are picky about cords since they often designate honors graduates or something similar. If you're thinking about doing something other than a stole, you might want to check with the office responsible for graduation (usually the registrar's office). I've seen students removed from the line-up for failing to adhere to the institution's identified graduation regalia requirement. You don't want to deal with that!

[amIblue?]

They're your letters, too; as long as you left your chapter in good standing, you are always a Kappa and therefore have the right to wear your letters.

I believe it would be the courteous thing to do to have a polite conversation with the chapter president to mention your intentions as sciencewoman mentioned so that you avoid the old side eye on graduation day from sisters who do not know you.

[Sen's Revenge]

The APO cords have a "charm" at the end which shows the letters. Do other orgs do this? I preferred the stole as an undergrad, but as my tastes changed, I think the cords look better.